Feeling Unwanted. :(

[Dougie_D]

How do I get over this feeling? All my life I've done things by myself. Seriously, going out with one other person is VERY rare. Even whenever I had roommates it seemed like we really never hung out. Why can't I find someone that wants to hang out with me? Do I make people feel embarrassed about themselves because I'm in their presence? Sometimes it's the other way around. My roommate once said, "I kind of like hanging out with you because you make me look even better". (he was talking about how he looks and stuff) Also, in the past, I always was the one to ask someone to hang out. The less I've actually asked, the less I actually get to be asked out. This makes me very sad and extremely lonely. I'm never happy. Am I an uninteresting person? How do I OVERCOME this feeling? It's not that I don't get out. I get out everyday. I'm more likely to be somewhere else than my house. I have trouble meeting new people that actually want to get to know me. No one cares?!

[whes]

For me, my lonerhood was mostly self-enforced. I had a few acquaintances that could have turned into friends, but I was too guarded, too isolated, too unwilling to let people into my heart. When I realized that I would need to take a risk on someone in order to truly become their friend, I started to actually develop real relationships with my friends.

 

The more you let yourself care, the more you allow of your inner spaces to be shared with others, the closer you get to them. And having someone know you feels amazing. Having somebody actually understand who you are, what you do, why you do and say things, etc., is everything. The more risks I took with my friends, the more rewarding those risks became.

 

Obviously sometimes I have gotten burned, which is why I am still particular about who I am friends with. But I am no longer afraid of hiding who I am.

 

Meeting new people can be hard, but if you are involved in something that you love to do, then there is usually a club, a group, or a community that goes along with said community. A whole group of people who enjoy doing or who are passionate about the same thing who can then go from there to developing friendships.

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you. My guess is, it's less about getting someone to say yes to hanging out and more about how we behave when we're with the people we hope to form friendships with. Trying too hard to seek attention or impress can come off like a sledgehammer that scatters people instead of attracting them. Being gentle allows people to reveal themselves to you over time and builds trust.