How do you make her see....

[NicHex]

Ok, another new topic from me, and this time w/ some good news. But I will get to that in a second.

Im shy around people I dont really know (makes dates kinda amussing I guess). I know girls like a sweet guy (after she sees he is not a needy guy). Now, when Im w/ friends who I know, we flirt, cuddle, joke etc. But I just cant seem to do that around new people. I mean, I even have a hard time going up and talking to some one. I know Im a good looking guy, and I can joke w/ the best of them. What should I do to try and stop this string of shyness stopping me from talking to the hotties at a party? I mean, come on, I have what ppl seem to want, but how do I make the ladies want me?

Now to the date. I talked to a girl online for no more than 45 min before asking her to lunch. No cemesty what so ever, but I went out on a limb and asked. I felt REALLY odd about this. But it got me a date.

 

Thnx

[ducky]

My advice is to just be yourself. From experience, girls aren't always attracted to the most vocal guy in the crowd. Girls who are attracted to such guys are usually shallow, IMHO.

 

Just be yourself. You can protray yourself as the strong, quiet, mature type of guy. Many girls like that kind of guy. Remember, being quiet does not mean you lack confidence. Girls can tell the difference between a quiet/shy guy and a quiet/confident guy from the way you hold conversations with them. Always maintain good eye contact, smile, speak with confidence, don't stutter. Always wait for them to break off eye contact.

 

Now, to answer your question. There are a few tricks you can use in a party, like always walking around, carrying 2 glasses filled with juice. When you see a girl that catches your eye alone, approach her, smile and ask "Would you like a drink?" That's a good way to start a conversation.

 

During a meal, you can try taking the initiative by distributing napkins to to everyone (don't neglect the guys!), or pouring drinks for everyone, starting with the ladies.

 

To hold a conversation with several ladies without contributing much, you can listen to one party talk, then turn to the other party, smile and say "the ladies just said that blah blah blah (what you just heard), so, do you agree with them?"

 

Hope this helps.

 

Regards,

[jurupa]

I have found that by just talking to people in general has help me come over my shyness. Even if you just say one thing it will help you.

[NicHex]

Well, I think Im over my fear of talking to people. Went out last night for a friends 21st. While we were at the bar this REALLY cute girl walks in. Well, after about 10 seconds of thinking about it (and some egging on by my friends) I walked over (I needed another beer anyways) and ask'd what she was drinking, made a lil small talk and then asked if she wanted to come over and sit w/ us for a lil. Well, 2 min later she walks over w/ a lil smile on her face and sits next to me. We talked about a few things and then her firends came over and had to pull her away. Later on in the night my friend and I were playing darts and she was playing pool. Saw she was running low and went and got her (and myself) another beer. By the time she left we had made plans to some time next week get a few people together and play cards.

Now, I have her #, should I call her up once I get bad to the University and see if she (and her friends) wanna join me and some buddies for a few rounds at happy hour?

[Silversun]

I'd say go for it. That's what I would do anyway and I think by getting her number, that's the first part now you got to call her and arrange something.

 

If you don't know her well then going with mates is a great idea, unless you want to get close with her

 

The foundations of a relationship begin with both of you feeling comfortable in each other's company. I'm not talking about those long periods of silence that feel awkward, rather being friends and then taking it from there.

 

Unless you really hit off early most girls prefer to take it slow so take your time and of course, enjoy it

 

I hope this helps