diddums Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 She ended it, she was with another guy within a month, she got upset when i said its NC now as i couldnt take it, yet EVERY damn month i get 2 or more messages from her via text, facebook or skype! It annoys me so much! At the least it at most times is....Hi followed by messages of asking me to stop ignoring her. But i get the occasional one that to me is clearly her way to try make me break it all with things like the one i got yesterday "i probably wont get a reply back but i'm gonna try. Can you please tell me who the guys name who wrote the divine comedy" this was sent on facebook as a inbox message she never leaves these things on my page dunno why but what makes me laugh is to of sent the message she would have to be on her laptop so whats wrong with using a search engine for that question haha! As well the way she asked the question just seems like basic reverse psychology of saying "i probably wont get a reply" almost as if im gonna go and reply back to surprise her but she answered her own question herself from the start Everytime i get asked a question or for some sort of "help" it always so happens to be about something i did. Such as the one above im a huge fan of the Divine Comedy books and i used to read it around her or to her sometimes. Other times ive been asked about me going to gigs she knows ill will probably will go to, computers/software or even about music/guitars and bands. Its all the stuff she knows i cant refuse to answer and love to do. Has anyone had a similar situation and did they ever stop its really annoying when im trying to heal and get over her. Thanks Link to comment
Snuggly Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 My ex can't stop contacting me either. My theory is that they are attempting to assuage their guilt. They know they treated you badly and that you did not deserve it. They want you to forgive them and make them feel good about themselves again. They just want a type of closure. Tell them that you still like them and hold no resentment and their self esteem is restored and guilt gone. Its entirely up to you. But you sound like you dont want to, so just defriend her on facebook and block her texts. Link to comment
biggestdork Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Lol Have you considered telling her clearly that you need some time? Let her know that if its not about your relationship, you dont want to her it. At least for now. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Just stop replying. She will eventually get the hint. Link to comment
diddums Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I told her when i went NC, i cant be friends with her like she wanted me to be, that its too much for me to handle seeing her with this guy, i need time for myself to get my head straight and that who knows how long it may take for me to get over her. Yet its like she cant respect that 1 request its mad! mtom12 i never reply but she still doesnt get the hint 5 months on lol. I agree though that it is to just make themselves feel better and reassured they have you still, i dunno if this whole thing is a rebound or not but part of me thinks it is, part of me doesnt. Its like people say to me, she clearly wants to see what shes missing out on and if her new relationship is so good why does she still try to contact me or speak to my friends about me, I have blocked her on facebook chat so the only way she ever trys to get hold of me is by facebook messages. I dont wanna talk to her at all in anyway, i told her every reason for my NC at the start. She left me so now shes lost me, her own fault she can sit and have that to bare. Id only accept to talk to her if it is about our relationship yet ino its not when shes with this guy still even if they ever go down hill, im not gonna go chasing after the girl that left me she would have alot to prove. She sent another message today! 2 in the last 24 hours! It doesnt make me want to talk to her at all it just angers me weirdly and feel sorry that she has for what ever reason the need to try talk to me rather than getting on with her life and that lovely boyfriend of hers. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 You know, I think in some way you kind of enjoy getting messages from her. Anyway, if you're serious about wanting some space from her, then you're going to have to set up some boundaries...block her on facebook completely. Block her on instant messenger. Block her on skype. And if she texts you, I would consider looking into getting a new phone number. It sounds extreme, but then she's being extremely disrespectful. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 You know, I think in some way you kind of enjoy getting messages from her. Anyway, if you're serious about wanting some space from her, then you're going to have to set up some boundaries...block her on facebook completely. Block her on instant messenger. Block her on skype. And if she texts you, I would consider looking into getting a new phone number. It sounds extreme, but then she's being extremely disrespectful. This is the way to go if you want her to leave you alone. Block on her on everything. Link to comment
LostKat Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Until you tell her to stop contacting you, she will likely keep it up. I went through (and am still going through to a certain degree) the same thing with my ex. We broke up and she started dating someone 3 weeks later. And although she has been with this guy now for about 9 months or so, she still feels the need to contact me...alot. And I fell for every crumb she threw my way. We even got together for dinner on a number of occasions but soon I realized it was not going to lead to any reconciliation and cut that out quite quickly. Maybe she feels guilty, I don't know. But whatever her reasons are, she can't let go of me. I don't respond to her much anymore and I think she is finally getting the hint. If she starts contacting me again frequently, I will just have to tell her to leave me alone. When you care about someone, that is hard to do but sometimes it is what is needed to finally heal and move on. Link to comment
diddums Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Her messages make me laugh which is what i enjoy, it just makes me angry as well, it also does play on my mind why and i begin to question things which is probably what angers me. Shes messaged me 3 times this week alone! And i met up with a very close friend of mine who i havnt seen in a year who also knows her and sees her often he mentioned her and that she wants me to answer her question about this damn book because she doesnt trust google -__- and that she asks him about me, he asked me what would you do if she wanted to get back with you, i told him id have a very hard long think about it as its not like i trust her. Ive blocked her on facebook and all messengers i wont change my number im fine with ignoring texts and calls ive had this number for years and i rather love its simplicity haha i wont go that far. Link to comment
tresqua Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Ive blocked her on facebook and all messengers i wont change my number im fine with ignoring texts and calls ive had this number for years and i rather love its simplicity haha i wont go that far. You are aware that you can block messages to your cellphone without changing the number? Link to comment
diddums Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 ill have to look into that thank you tresqua Link to comment
tresqua Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 If you have Verizon just log onto your online account (or create one if you don't) and under spam tools you can enter up to 5 numbers that you can block for free. The blocks expire after 3 months at which time you can re-enter them but by then the person will probably have given up. Link to comment
diddums Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 Awesome stuff handy for alot of spam texts from random companys as well haha atleast she wont have anyway to contact me besides through people ino which shes done very rarely example was my friend this week who i met up with, but that can be stopped by telling my friends to not even mention anything she says to me or just tell her they wont say anything. Hope it all starts to smooth out now anyway, amusingly she will typically only contact when her bf isnt around and funnily enough its the exact same times i used to be able to see her only i lived 40mins away by train and he lives about 15-20 minute walk and that was one of her poor excuses for leaving was the distance ha i hope the saying what goes around comes around is true anyway Link to comment
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