I Don't Want to Live With Her Anymore

[highonyou]

I'm currently living in a 3 bedroom flat with a great friend (Ali) from work and another friend I have known for a couple of years (Jen). I have lived with Jen in a 2 bed flat the year before and I found it difficult. She is quite messy and is usually late paying bills or squaring me up for the bills I've paid.

 

She is a really good friend, but I just can't stand living with her. I thought it was just me being a bit OCD with the upkeep of the flat, but Ali has noticed it too and has been getting quite short with Jen about the mess she makes, but she has yet to change her ways despite sayingshe will and just needs a little push because she is quite absent minded.

 

But for crying out loud! The bills come at the same time EVERY month! Telling me about how the bins make the kitchen smell isn't going to fix anything, pick up the backdoor key and take the bins out yourself for once!! The last time she washed the dishes was weeks ago, WEEKS!! urghh

 

So Ali is now looking for a place for herself and her boyfriend, and Jen has assumed I'm going to stick with her for another very long year. We were thinking about having my friend Michiru move in, but I Don't want to live with Jen anymore.

 

I feel really bad about laving her on her own, but I just can't stand living with her anymore. How do I tell her I'm looking for a 2 bedroom place for me and Michiru?

[TearsofFate]

She's probably became lazy with cleaning because you two do all the cleaning. Not saying what she is doing is right. In a way she is freeloading and not taking adult responsibility. I've had quite a few roommates (ages 20, 26, 28, 20, and 24) and they were all messy and I went to no ends cleaning, mopping, tidying after their parties like I was their house cleaner!

 

I was pretty frank when I finally decided to leave on my own, I said it was just too much (and they don't really change until you do move out and leave them to fend for themselves) lol,....which is a real shame.

 

Anyway, a nice way to put it would be just to tell her you want to live someone new because you want to try it out, or live closer to somewhere else...

 

DO NOT feel bad for letting her live on her own. It's like tough love...it really is. Let her see the error of her ways herself. And let yourself live happily. I've been great living on my own =] I love having my own space, and a nice tidy personalized zone all of my own. It's refreshing.

[livelarge]

You say something to the effect of "I really value our friendship and for that reason, we shouldn't live together." You can explain how it makes you feel and that you are beginning to resent her. Tell her that living with her will kill your friendship eventually and you really don't want that to happen.