42 days of no contact

[Panblanco]

i feel so bad because i was such a good girl to him. He was abusive, call me names, hit me, put me down etc. He used to get mad for everything and it was always my fault, he blamed for everything it was never his fault. I never told nobody that he was like because i was blind, he was my first boyfriend and he took advantege of that. If he was mad about something he was aggresive with me and hit me so bad, beat me up and then apologize and say he wont do it again, after each incident he changed for few days, not even a week and then treating me with remorse, he dont even open the car door for me but after each accident he would do it. He blamed me for his behavior, and many times i really though it was me, but now reading many articles in the internet i realized it wasnt my fault. He studying psychology so he manipulate me to make me feel miserable. During the 4 yrs of relationship , we were on and off because of him. Every time we had an argument he didnt want to discuss he just wanted to breakup and thats it. he used to talk and get off his chest his feelings , but when it was my turn he didnt let me because he said i was lying and if i got ma he would hit me. He is very insecure, but everytime he feel better about himself he leave me and the regret leaving me and come back saying i was the best girl ever that he realized * * * * * is * * * * * , that he love me so much.. He started using steroids so he must be feeling thinking that he cant get all the girls he want just like last time, plus it is summer time for some reason he always find a way or excuse to dumped me during the summer, we brokeup already like 100 times but im so stupid and always took him back thinking he was going to change but he didnt. he dont get along with his family, he direspect her mother, sister, father , and grandparents, not even my mother my family respect but didnt like him for me because make me suffer alot.

 

during the first month he sent me this stupid letter saying he was leaving ( orlando)and telling me not to be scared to talk to guys but repeating a million of time he love me, that im the whole package and men can have, that he love me so much. he know im not like that that i always stay like an idiot and dont do shyt just suffering , so he knows what he had with me, but he is taking for granted because he knows im not type of girl that just get a new boyfriend like that. so i guess he knows me and want to go and have sex with all the girls and see what he can catch and then if he get tired im the backup. IM TIRED IM GLAD I LEARNED AND DONT WANT HIM BACK FOR GOOD, SOMETHING TELLS ME HE WILL COME BACK LIKE ALWAYS, BUT I WANT HIM TO REGRET AND SEE I WAS A GOOD GIRL, IM NOT TAKING BACK BUT AT LEAST I WANT TO FEEL GOOD AND SEE THAT HE REALIZED WHAT HE LOST. his family loves me and take my side and tell me that he needs therapy but he dont want to believe it.... i just hope he come back begging so he can feel the way i do, and learn how to treat a good girl- i dint go out or nothing just to pleased himand look at me now, alone during the summer time.opps also in the letter he said that he want to come back but the reason he dont come is because he knows i wont take him back because i told him that if he leave me this summer i wont take him back like last summer. STILL LEFT ME AND SAYING HE LOVE ME TO MANIPULATE ME... I HATE MY LIFE, I NEED TO STRONG and not let him take me for granted. i want him to be sorry for what he did, i will ignore him my whole life and i hope he comes beggin like the crazy psycho that he is (sorry if i sound mean , but he made me suffer alot)

[Unwanted]

I think one of the (many) things you can take from this is: that if a man hits you, and apologises and says he won't do it again, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

 

Not only did I learn that from Oprah (hahaha oh bless her), but from my own experience.

 

It wasn't my ex who beat me, but my father. I still live under his roof, but I do try to be careful and I stay out of his way.

 

But he beat me, then said he wouldn't do it again, but he did the second time around.

 

And I like your last paragraph, he has manipulated you, but you've realised that now. Don't beat yourself up over staying in the relationship for so long, sometimes, our love is so INTENSE that we are willing to put our blinkers on and ignore all the $hit.

 

Stay strong, take care of yourself, be on your guard, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. We all deserve to be happy =)

[Kev0s1983]

I dont come here much anymore and post very rarely, but I felt really compelled to add something to your story...

 

I was in a really heartbreaking breakup in the early part of this year with a woman I was certain I would be spening the rest of my life with. I idolised her. Was a real gent, flowers, surprises, small gestures, random stuff that i have been told is really romantic and still it went wrong. Why am I telling you this? Well, Im really REALLY not trying to come accross as an egotistical arrogant b*stard but seriously? There are MANY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY better blokes out in the world. I really consider myself one of them and I understand this chap was your first real boyfriend but believe me, you deserve much much much better than what and who he was. Never is violence acceptable. Never. There is simply no excuse and whilst I try and keep a level headed view about it, it makes me so angry for OP's story and Unwanted's also. Dont ever feel/think/fool yourself into believing the violence directed at you is in any way justified or acceptable... It is not. Not now. Not previously. Not in the future. Ever. Ever...

 

Im just a guy writing words as you are just a female reading these words and its all so easy in theory but do not put up with this sh*t. Just dont. Life is way too short to live each day in fear of a so called "man" so gutless to beat on women. I guess I dont have many words of advice other than respect yourself and do what you can to take yourself out of harms way.

 

Something you wrote - "I WANT HIM TO REGRET AND SEE I WAS A GOOD GIRL, IM NOT TAKING BACK BUT AT LEAST I WANT TO FEEL GOOD AND SEE THAT HE REALIZED WHAT HE LOST. his family loves me and take my side and tell me that he needs therapy but he dont want to believe it.... i just hope he come back begging so he can feel the way i do," - in time, when he is lost, alone, sad etc he truly WILL realise what he lost. He will understand because nobody will put up with his sh*t. As nobody should. It is no longer your concern in any respect of his life be it good or bad. He does not value you or respect you - why waste a single second more on this "man". Walk away with your head held high. There ARE people out in the world, GOOD people and you will find someone worthy of your love and attention so long as you begin to understand how precious and valuable your life and time is... Give up on this complete waste of a human being and look after yourself.

 

Warmest and best wishes for the future

 

K

[Panblanco]

thank you so much for your advice, you really sound like a great guy. wish you the best too plus im not with him no more but it just hurt me that he did not appreciate me

[Sweetkisses22]

Stop waiting for him to wait to realize he lost something good..just know that he already has whether he realizes it or not and move on. Cut him out of your life so that he can't come back even if he tried. Block his number and block private numbers. Change your number email block him of fb or anything you have him on.