Escaping to Dream Land

[Oasiswater]

For the last three nights, I've found myself eager to go to bed early. Usually this would be a good thing. However, I'm starting to feel like it's for the wrong reasons.

 

I've been having dreams of my ex recently. They're always good dreams, always dreams of how our relationship used to be before it went downhill. I actively try not to fantasize about things like that during my waking hours, because they tend to make me upset. But, when I'm asleep I let my mind wander. It's almost like I'm excited to see where my mind will take me. The good side about this is that I feel like I receive emotional fulfillment in my dreams. Like, when I wake up, I no longer feel so lonely, and I no longer have an urge to reach out to her. Although I haven't stopped the 5 year old tradition of waking up and immediately checking my phone to see if she's contacted me.

 

The bad side of it is that I'm wondering if it's a bit unhealthy. I know there's very little I can do to stop myself from dreaming about these things. Maybe it's my body's way of coping with the loss, and it's purging itself of suppressed emotion. I'm not sure. I'm hoping that's where you guys come in, and that someone can maybe help shed some light on this.

 

Thanks so much for reading, you guys have been great

[banal]

I think you should check in with your government...because you can almost control your dreams. You'll be of great interest to their scientists.

 

I'd say that this dreaming is neither healthy nor unhealthy; it's part of your healing process. To be honest, I think it's ridiculous to think that any loving human being can just remove someone from his/her life and move on completely. You'll have setbacks. You'll have fantasies and dreams. Yes, you'll have contact. You'll have regrets and doubts and nostalgia and longing and all sorts of stuff that makes you feel as if you're not handling the breakup the "right way," that is, the way that posters here would approve of. But it's all natural and normal.

 

It's like looking ahead to a baseball season. Maybe you have a great team, and, sure, you'd like to win every single game - but the sport doesn't work like that. You're going to lose games, and a lot of them. You just deal with those losses as they come and be glad to be out ahead at the end of it all.

[Unwanted]

I agree with banal above, it's part of your healing process.

 

I'm not a fan of interpreting dreams, because I think dreams are just dreams. Most of the time, you dream about the last thing you were thinking of before going to bed. Or you dream about what's been on your mind all day.

 

It's not unhealthy at all, you can't control your dreams. That's just the way it is. Don't look into it too much.

 

I'm actually quite jealous of you, that you look forward to sleeping. Sleeping is healthy!

 

I don't look forward to sleeping at all, I haven't for the past 2 years. I'm a light sleeper, like tonight, I've only slept for 3 hours and I know I'll be up all night.And I'm an insomniac and have Stilnox ready at hand on the drawer. But I haven't taken them yet. I'm trying to help my body the natural way.

 

Don't put too much thought into it. Take care of yourself!

[nsomnia912]

I wish I could sleep....clue my name....I never sleep! And when I do I dream of being chased down by beasts and demons..... Never laying in a hammock listening to birds and the smells of a garden......

 

Oh sleep.....sleep is the dream.

[Meriem]

Oh I sleep so much, around 10 hours a day, however the sleeping isn't good and deep, I wakeup every now and then and I don't feel 100% asleep, I agree sleeping is good for you, your unconscious mind helps you heal while sleeping and you give your brains some rest..

And about dreams, I had those but they're not the good ones were we are back together they are just weird dreams, I think it's just your brain dealing with the treauma, brush it off and move on it's just a dream and you're not alone in having them, dreaming about exes happens to alot of dumpees

[LP90]

I envy you honestly. When i had dreams of my ex i woke up SO upset my chest and heart hurt and id have to get out of bed asap just to get myself busy. Plus i usually stay up till 3am now just to avoid sleep. On avrage i get no more then 5-6 hours of sleep a night, which is just terrible in every aspect. In my opinion, if it aleviates your desire to contact her or seek any info, then more power to you. Once your mind is subconsciously satisfied with what it imagined, perhaps the dreams will even slowly begin to fade. Plus its like veryone said, we dont have control over our dreams, so all you can do is be thankful they make you feel better and not worse, like it does for a lot of people, including myself.