BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 (sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong section)... I came on to post about the conversation I had with my ex tonight, and I got to thinking that I haven't really posted too much about my situation because I get really concerned that someone I know in real life will see my post. I know that the chances are slim to none of someone I know in real life even seeing this post in the first place, let alone figuring out it's me... but does anyone else worry about this? I also know that I shouldn't care so much what people think of me, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about this.. I feel like if I write about the conversation I had with my ex earlier, then I should give the back story about how long ago we broke up/ why, etc. and at that point, it'll be enough information for someone I know to know it's me. Even saying that we talked on skype earlier kind of worries me, because theoretically if he's reading this, he'll know it's about him. And rereading this, I know it sounds really irrational. So, does anyone else feel the same way? If you post about personal relationships, how do you feel knowing that it's possible that someone from your life could stumble accross your posts? And has anyone had an ex/ other person in their lives find this site and read their posts? Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 it doesnt matter if your ex finds out. i mean your coming here for advice . so just ask for it Link to comment
Yaz Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It's a common worry, rare to encounter an ex, and even rarer to know it's your ex. Do you wonder if everyone on here is one of your old pre-school buddies? Nope. Because it's not important if they are. And neither is your ex. Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Me and my ex were posting here at the sametime. I ended up reading all his posts (he was here way before me) and believe me I wish I did not, the whole thing will haunt me forever but it gave me the kick to move on, because I just simply found out he did not love me. The whole thing was pre conincidence, I was about to post on his thread as it was so familiar.... we agree he should go as i have not family here and need the help from the forums. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Me and my ex were posting here at the sametime. I ended up reading all his posts (he was here way before me) and believe me I wish I did not, the whole thing will haunt me forever but it gave me the kick to move on, because I just simply found out he did not love me. The whole thing was pre conincidence, I was about to post on his thread as it was so familiar.... we agree he should go as i have not family here and need the help from the forums. my ex found my post and got pissed off. but hey this is my place to vent. if i cant get advice from and have a place to vent where am i going to do it? Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Me and my ex were posting here at the sametime. I ended up reading all his posts (he was here way before me) and believe me I wish I did not, the whole thing will haunt me forever but it gave me the kick to move on, because I just simply found out he did not love me. The whole thing was pre conincidence, I was about to post on his thread as it was so familiar.... we agree he should go as i have not family here and need the help from the forums. ahhh so it does happen! i knew it! Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 but ask yourself this are you going to stop posting just because your worried that he might find your post? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have a journal in the journal section that smoeone (don't know if it was a member or someone who just happen to come accross it) sent that link to my sister via facebook right when I was complaining about something dealing with her. It created loads of drama. Not the same thing, but, yeah. I didn't stop posting though. This is my place and I have never said anything that wasn't true - and if they start harassing you on here that shows who the bigger person is really. Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 but ask yourself this are you going to stop posting just because your worried that he might find your post? hmm.. interesting question. I probably wouldn't stop posting altogether, but I would censor what I had to say if I knew my ex was going to read it. And beyond that, there's a guy I'm seeing, and I wouldn't post about him at all if I thought there was a good chance that he would read it. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have a journal in the journal section that smoeone (don't know if it was a member or someone who just happen to come accross it) sent that link to my sister via facebook right when I was complaining about something dealing with her. It created loads of drama. Not the same thing, but, yeah. I didn't stop posting though. This is my place and I have never said anything that wasn't true - and if they start harassing you on here that shows who the bigger person is really. wow welcome to my world .i know how that feels did u lose your cool? Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 hmm.. interesting question. I probably wouldn't stop posting altogether, but I would censor what I had to say if I knew my ex was going to read it. And beyond that, there's a guy I'm seeing, and I wouldn't post about him at all if I thought there was a good chance that he would read it.well you are going threw a break up so its ok to feel down at times, if u stay with this new guy for a long time well he needs to give u space because if u keep everything in like i did for two years it will drive u nuts Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 wow welcome to my world .i know how that feels did u lose your cool?'' NOt really. My sister didn't handle it well but what I was discussing had to do with my feelings on something she did or was doing - I told her and my family if they didn't want to know what I wrote about them, not to come on here. It has deterred me from using some details when describing situations but if I need cold hard advice I'm friends with some members on facebook, I'll just shoot them a mass email. Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have a journal in the journal section that smoeone (don't know if it was a member or someone who just happen to come accross it) sent that link to my sister via facebook right when I was complaining about something dealing with her. It created loads of drama. Not the same thing, but, yeah. I didn't stop posting though. This is my place and I have never said anything that wasn't true - and if they start harassing you on here that shows who the bigger person is really. Wow, stories like this are what scares me! I wouldn't want to face potential drama in real-life because of something I posted in an advice forum. Then again, you're probably right. If what I'm saying is true and I'm just venting/ getting advice, I have every right to be posting, and shouldn't let my fear deter me... I'm glad you didn't let that scare you off the forums! Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 '' NOt really. My sister didn't handle it well but what I was discussing had to do with my feelings on something she did or was doing - I told her and my family if they didn't want to know what I wrote about them, not to come on here. It has deterred me from using some details when describing situations but if I need cold hard advice I'm friends with some members on facebook, I'll just shoot them a mass email.wow atleast u had the chance to tell them that. my ex got real mad when she found this,it was my mistake for mentioning it but her mom called me ten times in two days and answerd one of my questions in yahoo. stupid me lost my cool and sent an email thinking if u want to know the way things really happened read this. my ex got mad and called me after. it was bad but thats what happens when u get your mom into this. she got mad that i did not answer when her mom called to tell me off. i didnt know she found the site until later when my ex told me. honestly i thought my ex of 23 was going to be more mature about it and not tell her mom. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Ex's are never mature, lol. I have bad mouthed my ex on her (true bad mouthing though about his cheating!) but I also have never hidden I take blame for our relationship ending as well. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 yeah but imagine your ex bfs mom calling you to tell you off. i was pissed and i strecthed the truth on something like she did , and at the end i did not feel better about it, i dont know how u can make so many things up and feel like its ok, i still regret lying and it does not make u look better Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Hmm, I don't even have anything bad to say about my ex! I just don't like the idea of him / other people I know (but especially him) reading my personal thoughts regarding him and the break-up. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Hmm, I don't even have anything bad to say about my ex! I just don't like the idea of him / other people I know (but especially him) reading my personal thoughts regarding him and the break-up. Keeping a private blog may help you - the journal section has a section were only yuou can see the journal I believe. I mean, the site is searchable on goggle (that's how I found it) and it's always a possibility. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 never happened to me till now and the whole situation was crazy, Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 never happened to me till now and the whole situation was crazy, How did your ex find your posts? Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Keeping a private blog may help you - the journal section has a section were only yuou can see the journal I believe. I mean, the site is searchable on goggle (that's how I found it) and it's always a possibility. Ahh yes, I found this site with google too! Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 it was a stupid mistake i made, my ex and i started to talk agian and i sent her an email to tell her why i was mad at times, i did say that it was wrong the way she treated me and told her some of the things that hurt my feelings. i saved up all xmas working 12 hour shifts to be able to go visist my ex and i felt like she used me for money so i made a list and told her. i mentioned i had an online journal. i didnt think she was going to look for it i thought she was going to ask me about it at the most. but it was a biiig mistake she looked for it and hell broke lose. never do this lol. i still regret it but hey live and learn.and i did not say anything on here that wasnt true. there is so much that stayed in my mind that i let pressure into me and it ended bad Link to comment
BrokenSmile Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 got it! I will not mention posting here to people in real life who I would not want reading my posts.. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 well unless you want there mom telling u off Link to comment
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