He contacted first but now its back to NC for a week...what's going on?

[Christy416]

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago over some personal issues (mainly his). I instantly regret it and asked to get back together but he said he needed time alone to deal with his problems and wanted to just be friends. I contacted him once or twice after that to make it final and when I finally accepted it - I stopped contacting him completely - no phone calls or text. I thought it would be easier that way since I was taking the break up pretty badly.

 

But with the help of some friends, I got through it and just when I was about to say I was good by myself - he comes back. It started out with him coming back onto AIM and just lingering around. I saw the statuses that he posted up on AIM and it was almost a direct message to me but it was vague enough where I wasn't sure if it was really directed towards me only so I ended up not IMing him. After a week or so of this, he ended up IMing me and we talked a bit. It was almost as if we fell back into our friendship routine. It wasn't completely the same since some parts of the conversation was stilted somewhat but that's expected since I hadn't spoken to him for about a month. He apologized for being awkward talking and mentioned that he had withdrew into himself and hadn't really spoken to anyone since we broke up.

 

So we talked for the next few days after that, on and off - they were pretty quick conversations..nothing too personal, but just asking each other how our days were and what we did and what we were going to do. But then he had to go away for a few days and now that I know he's back, he hasn't been online again. I'm not sure what's going on - it was going pretty well before he went MIA. I thought we would at least get back to being close friends again, but I'm not sure if that's possible at this point.

 

Should I wait it out and just see if he comes back online? Or should I text him and ask him how things are? We've only been talking online since I felt like texting would be crossing some invisible line (like we would be back to our dating habits). I mean, should I try to reach out this time since he did so last time with the IMing? I do want to get back together with him, but the mixed signals are so confusing to me.

[delicous]

You did everything right but this time you need to wait it out...Don't be available online all of the time and take a while to reply...thats the best advise that I can give to you. When I did this, my guy wanted to see me after I called him back...I was only no contact techinically for 3 days but we were aprt and didn't see eachother for 3 weeks. A. don't text, B. don't be available always and C. be direct, call him. Id wait a little while for him to call u though...

[Eocsor]

I'm sorry, maybe I'm missing something but what in any of this makes you think he wants to get back together? Sounds like just some random chatting a this stage, not an offer to reconcile. You don't seem to have anything real right now. I'd hold off any further communication. He'll find you if he wants to.

[endy]

Honestly you know your ex better than we do. I've seen people not offer reconciliation until they start chatting and catching up etc. IF you can handle it then make contact or just keep it light again. I would wait for him to contact again, but seriously when it comes to getting someone back there's no set plan.

 

If someone knows they want to reconcile they KNOW. They however may be afraid or scared on how to approach it. It all depends on them personally. That's where you knowing him comes in. If not then Eocsor is probably right and he is probably confused onto what he wants still. He's been dumped so he is probably still somewhat in shock.

[Christy416]

Thanks for the replies...I'll just hold off on contacting him and see where things lead. I guess for now I'll just go back to the way things were before he started contacting again.

 

And I didn't mean to say that him contacting me was a definite sign of reconciliation - I was just confused as to what was going on because one week he's back to normal (somewhat) and the next week, he's gone again. It's just very confusing.

 

I'll just let him be then.