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Does she really want to meet me?


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Hi Everyone,


I'm looking for some advice as i am getting really confused at the moment.. Sorry if this is in the wrong forum i wasn't exactly sure where it should sit and also for how long this might be but here is the situation:


I've been talking to this girl for around 8 months. I've never met her before but in the past month we've been calling each other very often sometimes even every other night. She had a boyfriend and they broke up last month. I've liked this girl for a while but respected her being in a relationship, i've told her how i feel now and she's said she likes me too. So i suggested we should go on a date on the past saturday, she said she would need to check that she wasn't already doing anything with friends but that it sounds good. It comes to saturday and it turns out she's seeing her friends, i was a little disappointed but completely understood, i'd be the same... so i ask her when she is free and suggest we re-arrange. she says she isn't sure at the moment, i think fair enough, she has had lots of plans and been busy. i had a holiday day off work the other day and was on the phone to her the night before and thought i might as well see if she's doing anything since i'm free. she said she had to pick her mum up from a friends at some stage and she was free otherwise so we should meet up, she then said she'd let me know when she finds out the exact time she's picking her mum up. i text her the following day and now she says she's not going to have enough time. Now i'm quite disappointed. I say to her to let me know when she is next free and we'll do something then if she likes. it's been nearly a week and i've spoke to her regularly on the phone and over text but she's not mentioned anything.


I just want to know if she actually likes me and if she really wants to meet me?

Or am i being too forward?

What do you think?


We have both said that we want to take things slow and don't want to rush into another relationship but i don't see meeting up as doing that, and i've been dying to meet her for so long, talking on the phone just isn't quite the same.


Thanks in advance for your responses.



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Well...it's difficult to know what she's thinking. Firstly, may I ask how you came to know each other? Seems a bit odd that you've never met, yet you've been talking to her for eight months, in which time she's had a boyfriend.


Factors to consider:


1. She's not long broken up with her boyfriend, so may not want to embark on anything serious so soon

2. She may like the idea of you, but not quite sure about meeting you as that may take away the mystery


She obviously likes you and you speak a lot. You've made it clear how you feel about her and invited her to meet. Ask her to let you know when she's free and wants to meet up and leave it at that. [Don't push it, I think you've kinda done it already] Leave the ball in her court. If she doesn't come up with a meeting plan - take it as a clear indication that she has no interest in meeting up with you and make some decisions on whether or not you want to continue your telephonic relationship as it is.

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Thanks for your response Katastrophy.


We're friends with a couple of the same people and happened to get in a discussion about music we both enjoy on a friends facebook. She added me on there and we continued to talk and things progressed from there. We spoke just about general things we were interested in but in the past 2-3 weeks we've really been talking a lot more. I don't think i've ever had so much in common with someone.


I've tried to find out how she's been feeling about seeing other people and me. and like i said she said she liked me but didn't want to rush into a relationship, i told her i'm the same which is true.. but i am eager to meet her and i have been getting frustrated. I'm going to try to hold off from asking her again for a bit and like you say the ball is in her court. It's just difficult, i just find myself unable to not talk to her or get her out of my head. What i've thought about doing is shunning all contact with her for a bit to see if she really tries hard to contact me but i just can't, i struggle to even last a day. As much as i like her i don't want to be wasting my time. We're going to speak later on as well. I wish this was simple.

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Sadly, from the perspective of a girl, sometimes girls treat guys like she did you to just talk and let out steam and have someone there as support/backbone. I could be wrong but girls do it all the time. The way she's avoiding getting together sounds just typical ways to get out of situations while still maintaining you as a friend on the phone.. you aren't a priority to her right now.

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If I'm honest, I don't think she's into you as much as you are into her (does that make sense?!)


She's only just become single, therefore she is probably not wanting to get into a relationship for a while.


I wouldn't ask to meet again, as I think she might feel awkward and tell you 'no' again.


It's probably best to take a back seat and wait till she comes to you.

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  • 2 months later...

Just thought I'd post to say that my patience has paid off.. I chilled out a bit and stopped letting it bother me but still spoke with her and now we're seeing each other regularly I just wanted to say thankyou for your advice because at that time it really helped me a lot.




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