my sex problem hasn't been solved, help needed?

[seza15]

hey all,

i posted about 3 months ago about my lack of sex life and my partners extremely low sex drive. nothing has been "resolved" and i have spoken to him a few times about it. i'm at my wits end!

 

he still won't do oral on me or allow me to do oral on him. he won't even allow me to touch his penis at all!!!!! he only fingers me but doesn't take "that is hurting me" as a clue that he is being too rough with my genitials. he is still only doing forplay for 5 minutes tops! And he wonders why i'm now so turned off even wanting to have a sexual relationship with him now as he hurts me every time as he won't bother with more forplay. i guess it doesn't help that he is a very big boy (17 cm's length, 12 cm's around approx.)

 

it's still only once a month he decides to want to have sex! and every time, it's missionary position and NOTHING ELSE!

 

help! i don't want to break up with him as i love him and i'm engaged to him but i want to be able to "put a rocket up his butt to do something about his sexual issues".

 

any suggestions? i'm absolutely desparate!

[mscolly]

It sounds like your boyfriend has got some very strange ideas about sex. The fact that he won't let you touch him above all seems strange.

 

I can understand why he wants it infrequently, if in the end he knows you don't enjoy the way he does it. It almost appears as if he knows it's not working, but when the need gets too much, he wants it all the same.

 

Does he feel that sex is something dirty? Does he come from a religious family and feel that pre-marital sex is wrong? Does he have problems with premature ejaculation? Perhaps he sees it as a performance that must always be great, so your trying to tell him it isn't and trying to tell him how it could be better is a slap in the face to his manhood. Is he a "man's man", all sport, beer and lurid jokes, or a sensitive feeling person that can sympathise with another person that happens to be of the fairer sex?

 

These are all things that with marriage and patience on your part could get better. But then again they might not. The only chance you have is to make sure you both talk, that he really understands how you feel. What seems missing here is that you don't know how he feels. Try to get inside his head, try to understand what's going on. He's got problems too.

[hardcore]

it sounds like your boyfriend just wants to stick the bun in the oven with out needing the doe. maybey you should seek a open relation ship make him j just a thougth 8)

[hardcore]

or you could wait till he is sleeping and start giveing him oarl like a 69 and he will wake up and you turn and tell him just eat it don't be a wuse 8) mum mum good

[Leslii]

I have never ever heard of a man who doesn't want his penis touched.

99.9% would have you touch it all day if you wanted to. They touch it all

day. Men love sex ALOT. They don't turn it down.

This is the strange. This may sound harsh but have you considered that

he was maybe molested as a young boy. I'm not saying this is the case

but but he is showing of this. There could be some other issue stopping him from wanting sex. try therapy too.

[Day_Walker]

You need to take an objective look at your situation and realize that you shouldnt be in this relationsihp. Is everything supposed to get better once you are married? If you think that then you are dillusional. Get out now and find a guy that doesnt have these hang ups about sex.

[ReadyorNot]

When I first got with my bf 4 years ago we had sex ALL the time... everyday and sometimes even 2 times a day..

 

Now... 4 years later... .we have sex sometimes just once a week... up to 4 times a week.... We dont live together either so it makes it a bit tough..

 

Usually, my bf wants head everytime I see him if we arent having sex, but we have short periods of time where we really dont do much of anything... that use to bother me but he says that he doesnt need sex all the time.. alot of the time he is just too tired... maybe your bf is really tired all the time from work....

 

It is odd that a guy wouldnt want you touching him though....

[excelalways]

i know that whatever advice i can give you has already be given...but its still worth a shot.

 

it does sound like something has happened to him when he was younger.

all i know to say really..is to keep talking to him. don't let him shrug you off or anything.

 

and if all else fails you can take hardcaore's advice and go down on him in his sleep.