Hoping an expert will read this...

[surferboy]

I have realised I have a big problem, but don't know if just going to the doc for pills will help. Does anyone know how I can get proffesional help.

 

I am so scared I cannot carry on and want to help myself but don't know how.

 

I will give you an example of how I am feeling.

 

It's a long story but at this point in time I have lost the most important person in my life. After 30 years I know what it feels to love someone, reading the posts I can see the mistakes I made when we split up, I fell to pieces and drove her away totally.

 

The problem with the no contact is we have a 1year old girl, who is the most amazing thing I have ever seen.

 

It would take too long to into the details of how we solit up, stupidly it was my decision. When i realised how much she ment to me it was just too late. I took her on holiday but when it didn't work i fell to pieces. But it has got to the stage that I cannot physically control my emotions when i see her. Which i have to to spend time with our daugter.

 

Yesterday i met her in town to drop of our daughter, I'd had a great day with her, and was just planning to say to my ex we'de had fun, ask how she was then leave.

 

As usual the first thing she said that her friends were waiting in the shop next door, and i blurted out why... are they looking after your boyfriend... I know she isn't seeing anyone but I think about it so much (her meeting someone else) i convince myself its true. She gets angry, but when she walks away i try and catch her, try and apologise and end up bursting into tears...

 

My emotions are all over the place, I miss her soo much. She said all she wanted was time, but i couldn't leave her alone and know she dosn't even speak to me and basically I can't live with the situation.

 

I also cannot understand why i can't be stronger when i speak to her, i try so hard, even on the phone. I seem to have so much bitterness inside me and it's ruining my life.

 

I physically cannot control myself and as a 30 year old it scares the hell out of me. Suicidal thoughts have become an everyday thought. The though of not seeing my daughter grow up scares me to. But the thought of having to watch the two most prescious things in my life without me, and probably in time with someone else.

 

Thanks for your time..

[thisisnotanexit]

hey man, im no expert, but i do know that you can get through this. i've been there before and you can do it too. you're not alone. there are many resources out there to back you up. this too shall pass in due time. take care man and check this link out..it may help you. if you ever want to contact me, feel free. see ya

 

link removed

[SHaTTeReDSouL]

you should try talking to her and let her know exactly how you feel. by reading your post though, you seem to have trouble talking to her in person and on the phone...maybe you could write her a letter, just try to do something that would let her know just how sorry you are and how much you still care for her and miss her, etc. i don't know how much help i might've been but i wish you the best of luck and i hope you two get back together...

[Ravens_eternity]

i know ppl tell you this lots but i know how you feel. i try my best to to not cry when i see or tlak to her but no matter what i can't help but cry and think there is a nother man with her. i feel like she is hiding something all the time and feel like no matter what i do she will never come back too me.

 

but you know what, you still have that little angel of your, so see that she will have a happy life.

 

i don't have anything left. so you can say your lucker then me

so stop thinking about dying and think about what you can do for your little angel

[i_hate_the_world47]

I think you should nspeak to hear.Tell her what you feel.

 

~Meagan~

 

[electricekcentric]

dude...

no matter what,you will always be that little girls father.do you want her growing up calling somebody else 'daddy'?not to mention the emotional scars she will bare if you check out.think about it........pull yourself together bro.keep a stiff upper lip,,(ac/dc).when you see your ex just dont say any of the things you say,just dont!