Total Life Change? Help!

[Openwindow]

OK- so my husband just called me a little while ago and announced that he has been let go from his job (he is a teacher and they are not renewing his contract for next September). This is the 4th job he has been through in 4 years and he is beginning to wonder if he is in the right field. We have 2 young children (a 19 month old and a 4 month old) to support. I now work part time since I had my children but my job is low- paying.

 

I feel like we have been banging our heads against a wall for the last four years with his going through jobs and being unhappy and my floating along with part-time work and being unhappy. We currently rent an apartment that we don't like. We now have a car payment we can't afford. We have nothing in savings and currently live paycheck to paycheck. Our bills are current, but we will fall behind very very quickly now.

 

I am thinking it might be time for a total life change. New careers for both of us, a new place to live, maybe in a completely new place where opportunities are better, maybe going back to school...I am just not sure but something has got to give.

 

He will be paid through the end of August per his contract. My job has offered me full time over the summer which will bump up our income a little at least until the end of August. Our lease is up on the apartment at the end of August also. I feel like then we may need to make a huge change. I feel like now is the time with everything coming to an end like this. I am excited and terrified at the same time. Our biggest concern is keeping our children safe and happy-I feel like we need to make big changes in order to get out of this rut we are in, but I don't want to cause too much upheaval with them.

 

I guess my question is has anyone here made a total change like this this "late" in life? We are both 37 which I know is not old but feels old to be starting over from nothing. How can I get a feeling of what we should strive to do with our lives? Any practical advice on how to deal with this upheaval? Just looking for inspiration / advice / thoughts- any at all!!!!

[starbucksbro]

I feel for you because I've been down this road...

 

The first thing I'd try is changing towns--but assuming you've tried this--I'd then try to use your network and make some calls to people to see what options you really have here accross the entire spectrum. Have there been any repetitive patterns or themes this entire time with these lost jobs? For example, are there any reasons to hold your husband suspect in any of this or can these lost jobs be etched up to a poor economy? Do you guys live in an economically destitute state or teacher-unfriendly state?

 

- Who all do you know in this profession that could help you with leads?

- What cities / towns / rural areas would you be open to living in should you be forced to relocate?

- How do your resumes stack up against others?

- What's your level of education when in comparison to market standards? City standards? Rural standards? And his? Etc...

- What other avenues exist for someone with the degrees you two have? For example, teaching is obviously big in this but could something else arise in the form of, say, a newspaper editor, some form of government position, a managerial role, etc.?

- What family members remain within proximity that could help you should you be forced to go back to school?

- If you go back to school, one of your first stops should be to the financial assistance office to review your options of acquiring grants, scholarships, etc. Also make sure you ask questions about distance education and what classes can be taken online--this will provide leverage for convenience and whatever part-time or full-time jobs you two acquire between now and whenever.

 

Out of all this, remember what your marriage is there for. You two found each other. Out of the job, the children, and houses and cars... You two take priority here because nothing else is going to happen if you two can't hold on to each other. That said, make sure you reserve some time for the both of you each night to get out of the house and do something fun. Keep that spark alive.

 

You'll make it through all this. And 4 years? Pfft... That's nothing, especially in today's joke economy. Just keep holding on and keep fighting the future and never compare yourselves with others. NEVER.

[Jetta]

Well you said your job is going to take you on full-time, accept the offer!

 

Maybe your husband should look into additional training of some kind. Maybe a different field entirely (it would take about 2 years for him to complete a 2nd degree).

Find out what his interests truly are, maybe his parents pressured him to teach or he thought it would be different, but it's clearly not working out and God sends hints before he throws boulders your way. Take the hint and run with it.