I got my answer from my ex *sigh*

[beco]

Well guys the inevitable happened with my ex. If none of you know just go back and look at my posts over the past few months. I was trying to get my ex back - doing everything by the book trying to learn from my mistakes but you know what?.....it didn't work.

 

I wasted 7 months doing this and I kept thinking, I had learnt things but I hadn't because I was still so helplessly in love with her that I was blinded. Oh she lead me on had me believe I was in with a fighting chance and now it really is over! completely over - never know going back and it hit me like a slap in the face as soon as she said we're just friends.

 

I didn't crumble like I did before i kept strong and didn't cry she was not going to have another tear from me. I really am all cried out now. Maybe I'm in shock who knows but in a way I'm relieved. I finally had my answer even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear and even though I've reached rock bottom again over this person I know the only way is up now.

 

Someone said on here once "that sometimes that person's part in the story is over and you have to know when it's over because nobody wants to be with someone that doesn't want you" never have these words been so true. I don't know if I will ever love anyone the way I loved her but I have to believe I will because if you stop believing then all hope is lost.

 

So to all you guys out there STOP! no doubt you were all like me. If someone loved you that much they would be with now and it's true don't be led on like I was pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

[crvidales]

wow dude u know what thats a pretty sad story dude but ur ok and stuff hmmm it makes me wonder so if ur saying if u love someone and if they love u as much then they would be with us now well hmm that somthing i have actually been wanting to know well thanks for telling the story through your post

[Vert]

Beco,

I feel you man. My ex-gf said she needs time (isn't that always the way it is?) to think about our relationship, and she asked for that time to be when she was in europe on vacation the past two weeks. I spoke to her online last week (against my better judgement) and she said she needs to speak with a professional therapist about her confusion with our relationship. I keep wondering if I should just keep waiting for her or move-on (literally and figuratively). I have a new job in another state that I'm leaving for next week, but I don't want to lose her if I go. I'm sure you're going to say to let her go, but I do love her too much and I know she's still stuck on me as well. She has emotional problems with allowing herself to love people or show love for them. I'm not sure if that's her cop-out, but I've witnessed that behaviour from her a lot with other friends.

[brucethescot]

So sorry to hear the final outcome for you.

 

Would you be kind enough to share with us what the mistakes were that you made after you were dumped?

 

Also would you please tell us what you did that you felt were the right things to do "by the book."

 

Thanks in advance for whatever insight you can offer.

 

P.S. How long was the relationship?

[beco]

we were together for 5 years and didn't speak to each other for 6 months after the break up so I did do the no contact.

 

There really is nothing I can say - everyone is different but I do believe more than ever now that if you really do love someone and they say they love you back then you have to ask the question as to why their not with you now. Sometimes love is all there is sometimes it is that simple.

 

I think everyone has to make their own mistakes. I've made mine and I will never go back again.

 

If any of you ever want to talk please pm me.

 

Good luck to you all

[beco]

we were together for 5 years and didn't speak to each other for 6 months after the break up so I did do the no contact.

 

There really is nothing I can say - everyone is different but I do believe more than ever now that if you really do love someone and they say they love you back then you have to ask the question as to why their not with you now. Sometimes love is all there is sometimes it is that simple.

 

I think everyone has to make their own mistakes. I've made mine and I will never go back again.

 

If any of you ever want to talk please pm me.

 

Good luck to you all

[Brandell]

I did not want to cry today... but now I am.

 

I wish I could help you... but know that I am with you.

 

Are hearts are pure and exceptional... or else we would not be here and suffering.

[Katheelynn]

Im very proud of you and what your wrote...you gave it a chance...you showed you accepted responsibility for you past behavior and were willing to adjust waht may have been part of the problem. Sometimes it just doesnt work out. What a big step you have taken!! Im sure that when love comes your way again, you will apply those same changes you tried on your ex. Good at ya!!!

[auburnslp]

I'm with you too brother...I wish I could help you out. Same thing happened to me...4 months later it is now finally, and completely over...I knew it for some time but of course my heart kept hanging on to false hope...found through a mutual friend that she and her ex have been passionate...and that is the end of the story for me. I have said on here before that if she doesn't want you, then you don't want her. And that this chapter of our lives is now closed, time to start a new one. Time to start truly living by my own words. It is very hard, and I am cried out as well...but you know what? This is actually a good thing for both of us, long term. Now we know...now we can begin to truly move on.

 

I feel for you brother, I think I know exactly what you are going through...Michael