How often do you get oral sex from your partner?

[King King Lear]

I am a thirty year old man and I KNOW I have an extremly high sex drive. Before I returned the arms of the woman I ACTUALLY loved, we dated elsewhere to be sure about our love, and the woman I dated gave me oral sex without a second guess. I didn't even have to ask for it. I woke up in the morning, and there were lips on me. I got home from work and I got some. I became VERY comfortable and enjoyed the self-less act as an expression of being missed, or a clue to her level of sexual frustration. Now that I am with the woman I actually love and not with one who was a replacement for a short period, I have found that I love everything about my woman except the FACT that she doesn't even TRY to give me oral sex. NONE, at all. I get frustrated and try not to give off ill feelings, but I can't help it. I don't even feel comfortable telling her whats wrong without starting an argument. It's not that I don't enjoy just the regular, missionary, doggystyle, etc. I just want more from her. She is not very exciting in bed but I do love her all the same. I am now on the border-line between just becoming celibate or addressing the issue. I don't want sex anymore without oral sex, because i still feel unsatisfied afterwards. I had woman who could keep me going all night long, just by giving me oral sex when i got home and had a beer. I'm lost and don't know what to do anymore. I would rather learn to do without sex and oral sex, than ask her to do something she won't do on her own. Everytime in the past i have brought up the issue, I don't even enjoy the oral sex, because I had to TELL her. I am the happiest most miserable committed man on the face of this earth and don't know what to do to change it. I'm starting to get overly frustrated at times and only want her to be self-less, and give to me what she expects me to give to her. I don't complain, I just satisfy her and then go over and beyond to make sure she is satisfied.

 

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ShadowofFears]

I'm pretty easy. I will give you a blow job as much as you want as long as in return you eat me out. Simple. It's fair, we both have fun, and we both are sexually pleased orally. Not to say that I won't give you one without you returning the favor, because I will, but then I expect you to give me some without me returning the favor as well sometimes.

 

I'm kind of strange (maybe?) in the fact that I as a woman want oral sex pretty regularly in a relationship. I have only had one boyfriend who complained about this and needless to say, it didn't work out so well. But I will have no problem going down on a guy if he's willing to go down on me, if he isn't, well then I wouldn't even be in a relationship with this person in the first place.

[partydelights]

Personally, I think sex is very much about the woman's mind. (I'm speaking as a man.)

 

Starting as "extra-pure virgins", my wife and I began our sex life on wedding evening with missionary and woman on top. And this lasted for over 13 years! That's why we dare say we're "professionals" in these two positions.

 

But of course as a man, I have my "dark side". Rear entry and of course Oral were my "deep seated desires" to engage with her.

 

This is how I successfully get my wife to like Oral (perhaps I should use the word "lust" that she will do it at least 3 times a week.

 

1) Know what Oral sex is for Man and Woman. So there are 4 topics to study.

a. How can a man give oral to a woman,

b. How can a woman give Oral to a man,

c. How can a man communicates his desire/feelings before/during/after Oral to his wife,

d. How can a woman communicate her desire/feelings before/during/after Oral to her husband.

 

Lots of readings on the Internet. To me, those times were like college days. Tons of reading materials, lots of theories, but NO PRACTICAL

 

2) Give, give, give.

Not all woman from the "extra-pure virgin" categories wants Oral . In fact, the thought is repulsive. So you'll have to work your way around the "not so gray" area first.

 

Begin by fingering. Yes, some calls it foreplay, but this time, do it with the intention to bring her to orgasm, yet fall short of it. You'll know when she begins to mourn, her virginal gets moist, her vaginal walls starts to contract, and her body starts to sweat and her face and neck blushes. REMEMBER TO STOP FINGERING BEFORE she orgasm. Well, for first timers, you might miss the timing. Try again until you get it correctly.

 

When you catch the correct timing, go down and suck her vaginal, lick the moist and insert your tongue into it.

(She'll be too high to say "no", no matter how "extra-pure" she is. I know. Mine's "extra-pure".)

Bring her to heaven with your tongue. Put your theories into practical. Do it right. There is no room for too many failures.

 

After she return to earth, you be prepared for a good "lecture" of how "unholy" you are.

Remain silent as a sign of "penitence".... -

 

Do it often enough to make it a norm in your sexual encounters.

Be prepared for many months of blue-balls, though.

This is because after her returning to earth, there is only one eventuality -- slumber.

You've be left alone, high and wanting....

 

Getting "extra-pure virgin" wives to accept Oral is like converting a Catholic to .....

 

Then comes Step 2 (after few months, assuming 2 to 3 times "sex" weekly):

Assuming she's OK with you giving her Oral, finally.

 

Now present yourself wishing for Oral from her when you do it on her.

Assure her you'll tell her when you're about to come.

Really, when you're to come, withdraw yourself. Come outside her mouth.

 

Also, get ready beforehand cleaning materials and clean up immediately.

After wash up, review to her what a great wife she is.

 

Step 3: (Few months after step 2)

Education. Yes, now present the research materials to her.

Offer to view porn together. (really subtle. seek the right opportunity.)

I think as men we'll know what do during sex education. It's in us.

 

Step 4: Conclusion

The day will come when you can come in her mouth.

Do so respectfully.

Do not insist her swallowing.

Ask her for postmortem.

Prepare for extreme dissatisfaction with the taste and smell.

 

So long winded am I not. But I hope you can glean some points and may Oral becomes part of your love life soon.

(If you like to know how I get my wife to love rear entry, raise another thread.)

 

Good Luck and Merry Christmas.

[DrKitten]

"extra-pure virgin"

 

This phrase just makes me think of olive oil.

[partydelights]

This phrase just makes me think of olive oil.

 

Exactly what I have in mind too... But I think it's sort of cute to label those completely ignorance of sex, not even read porn, nor any articles on "how to" even until their wedding day (myself included) ;-)

[ClarenceRutherford]

Exactly what I have in mind too... But I think it's sort of cute to label those completely ignorance of sex, not even read porn, nor any articles on "how to" even until their wedding day (myself included) ;-)

Why were you so ignorant about sex up until 23-25?

Just curious.

 

Whatever you answer is fine, as you and I may have been alike, though I wasn't a virgin at that age, but still had very limited "experience" or knowledge.

[swampyankee]

He writes as though he's from a foreign country (relatively speaking since the internet is world-wide). Quite possibly customs are different than what we're used to (speaking to you Clarence from GA).

[partydelights]

Why were you so ignorant about sex up until 23-25?

Just curious.

 

Whatever you answer is fine, as you and I may have been alike, though I wasn't a virgin at that age, but still had very limited "experience" or knowledge.

 

Basically I'm a religious person (Christian), coupled with Asian tradition+culture during that time made it "conducive" to be "extra-pure virgin" (ha... ha... I get to like this term already...)

 

At that time (but not now), losing virginity outside the marriage circle here was damned in my society. In fact, it was easier to find virgins than non-virgins here. (Also, during that time, there was no Internet plus no book store selling sex related articles, except some "straight" romance books.)

 

So religion coupled with social "pressure", it's "easier" to remain virgin until the wedding day.

 

That's why looking back, it's just 20 years and I saw so much difference in society.

I cannot condemn anyone who chooses free life because this is their rights.

 

But I felt sad 5000 years of human tradition will soon be completely wipe out and youngsters entering their teens started to get pregnant and become "murders" through abortion.

 

Well, thanks for asking and I can say likewise about my wife, who though was born 1000km apart from my homeland, remained a virgin until we married. The "First Time" was simply "chaotically" memorable And we have no regret even until today.

[BlueEagle]

My ex wouldn't spend very much time giving to me (she would do it for like ten seconds tops and then just stop for whatever reason! The exception was when we did 69 and she spent more time on it) while I spent more time on her. I didn't discuss it with her though so, to an extent, that's my fault for not communicating my needs.

[Fudgie]

My boyfriend gets a BJ everytime we have sex (during foreplay) as well as some random times. He doesn't want period sex so I give him BJs more during my period to make up for him not being able to have sex with me.

 

Usually for the random times, we'll be snuggling and start to make out and I just end up doing that to him.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Why were you so ignorant about sex up until 23-25?

Just curious.

 

Basically I'm a religious person (Christian), coupled with Asian tradition+culture during that time made it "conducive" to be "extra-pure virgin" (ha... ha... I get to like this term already...)

 

At that time (but not now), losing virginity outside the marriage circle here was damned in my society. In fact, it was easier to find virgins than non-virgins here. (Also, during that time, there was no Internet plus no book store selling sex related articles, except some "straight" romance books.)

 

So religion coupled with social "pressure", it's "easier" to remain virgin until the wedding day.

 

That's why looking back, it's just 20 years and I saw so much difference in society.

I cannot condemn anyone who chooses free life because this is their rights.

 

But I felt sad 5000 years of human tradition will soon be completely wipe out and youngsters entering their teens started to get pregnant and become "murders" through abortion.

 

Well, thanks for asking and I can say likewise about my wife, who though was born 1000km apart from my homeland, remained a virgin until we married. The "First Time" was simply "chaotically" memorable And we have no regret even until today.

Thanks for the explanation.

Like I said, I was of the same faith and had views like you.

Unfortunately, I lost mine @17 before I became of faith in college, but had deep regrets over that.

 

Like you, was very inexperienced and naive as well. There weren't the Christian-based books and resources you have now, so doing some reading can help prepare a virgin or inexperienced person. It's highly recommended, esp. among women who need to know about the first pain they'll likely experience on that wedding night.

 

There's nothing "wrong" with being a virgin or inexperienced. Indeed, I actually would have preferred dating virginal or "inexperienced" or "less experienced" women, for some of the same reasons you shared.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Was gonna PM you this, but I think it fits here.

 

Indeed there is no shortage of books and materials teaching virgins how to prepare for their "first night".

But regrettably, many materials I read from the Internet is on both extremes.

 

The porn side tends to give very wrong impression what sex is and the type of "feelings/experiences" sexual intercourse gives. It has been overstressed that many find their "first time" very different from their expectations.

 

That's very true. As a former porn user, I advise guys to stay away from it. It gives guys false impressions of women.

 

When I first had sex, I knew nothing. Didn't think to look at good books or anything. Never read any Christian-focused books until in my 40s. So was fairly naive about sex even after being married for many years.

 

Just wonder,

Are you married already? Or are you now in a courtship?

 

Have been married 13-14 years.

 

Lost my virginity in HS @17, but became of faith the next year in college. Didn't have any sex (or much kissing or hugging !!!!) through college and for a couple of years after, when I awoke and ramped-up my dating. Did some "everything...but" stuff with some virgin women in my late 20s before I met my wife in my early 30s.

 

The other things your thread addressed, plan to PM you my thoughts on those more religious-oriented points.

[partydelights]

Was gonna PM you this, but I think it fits here.

:

:

:

The other things your thread addressed, plan to PM you my thoughts on those more religious-oriented points.

 

Ha! I'm glad you got to read my post before it got deleted!

 

If you like to share more, or get to know me better, please PM me. We should be able to exchange email address there.

[Wistful]

I use it as foreplay for sex (depending on the time of the month, 1 - 3 times a week). If we aren't having sex, I do it to completion or I finish him that way. (Almost daily)

I do it even if I don't really want to and I do it when I'm on my period and can't really let him get me off.. Its part of making a relationship work.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Ha! I'm glad you got to read my post before it got deleted!

 

If you like to share more, or get to know me better, please PM me. We should be able to exchange email address there.

Glad I did.

Copied it to drafts as had to leave the office and figured I'd respond later.