mike2090 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I want to know if there is something wrong with my wife or whether this is just normal. I'm a 35 year old man and have been married for almost 10 years. I get oral sex only for a moment during foreplay and before intercourse, but I never got just oral sex from my wife although I would really love to from time to time. My wife has no libido and has sex with me once every three months. She says she is very happy with me and doesn't need more. But I am way from being sexually satisfied. I offer to go down on her very often, but she says she's not interested. She also refuses to go to counceling saying that we already have a wonderful relationship. My friend tells me that his wife gives him a blow job to completion 3 to 4 times a week. I believe him. But who is the exception here? me or him? and in this case can I do something about this? Is my situation normal? Shall I search for my sexual satisfaction elsewhere? Link to comment
Sim54 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Wow, this is tough. First, there is no normal, but your wife expecting you to be satisfied with sex 3 or 4 times a year is really pushing it. That to me is pretty selfish, but you can't make her have sex if she doesn't want it. Have you told her that you are not sexually satisfied? I think that you need to somehow find a way to communicate how this affects you. I would't go elsewhere for sex right now, but if your wife isn't interested in give you pleasure, then perhaps you need to discuss how you can get your needs met. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I agree, very selfish of her. Do you really have sex only once every 3 months?! I'm surprised you tolerated it as long as you did. Don't cheat (it's a cowardly/selfish act)...talk to your wife and if she is not willing to change, this relationship should be over. Link to comment
mike2090 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 I understand but let's put intercourse aside for a moment. My question to men is: How often do you get a blow job from your wife? My question to women is: How often do you give complete oral sex to your husband? Link to comment
greenlife Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 i understand how you feel. i really respect you for being tolerated. you probably have to talk to her. maybe she can change. Link to comment
d24 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 wait... holdon ... you get oral during foreplay? wow, my STBX never did that for me. I'd have traded 3 months of what little sex I did have for just a tiny bit of oral/hand/boob relief. But in general... from what you have posted I believe her sex drive is very low. I think the national average (according to some random poll I saw in a magazine recently, FHM?) is 40 times a year in the UK which is just under once a week? Not sure if I buy that though, I think it's a brevado thing that makes men say they get it more than they do. Who knows? I've never been in a relationship where oral sex has been on the menu. I'm in your boat though, possibly half a dozen times since I met her 6 years ago I think? It's the thing I'm looking forward to the most when I start dating again.... *dreams* Talk to her about it, make her understand this is a problem for you, and see what she does about it Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 When I was in a relationship, I gave him blowjobs whenever he asked for it (never said no) and sometimes I asked to give it myself. But he wasn't a huge of blowjobs, he always wanted intercourse instead. Not all women are like me tho. Link to comment
Hurting85 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 There's none at all in my marriage, but my friend's husband gets them almost daily. I wouldn't mind once in a blue moon, though he isn't interested, but I don't think I could handle daily. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I don't think there is no norm when it comes to how many times. Some couples may be every day of the week while others could be once a week. Also depends on preference. It's what the couple compromises. In your case there is no compromise, she is satisfied while you are not. Time to sit down and have a heart to heart. Link to comment
sidehop Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I agree, it's a matter of communication; if there's a deep psychological reasoning or health issues that's holding her back it's something you two need to discuss. Of course without any finger pointing or pressuring her for an answer. Do let her know how you feel about her aside from this issue and keep the option open as far as her seeing a doctor or a professional counselor (together or not). She'll likely consider the issue to be a stress factor on your part rather than feeling like you're nagging or pressuring her. Good luck! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I think that you need to let your wife see that your relationship is not wonderful as sex is clearly lacking and that is the basis for going to counseling Link to comment
DrKitten Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I understand but let's put intercourse aside for a moment. My question to men is: How often do you get a blow job from your wife? My question to women is: How often do you give complete oral sex to your husband? A couple times a week I'll go down on him to finish intercourse that way. During that week of the month, I give him complete BJs almost daily. Link to comment
open Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 when im seeing somene i usualy give and get oral sex on every occasion we get sexual Link to comment
DD123 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 i do oral with foreplay every time we have sex (probably around 3 times a week, since we only see eachother on the weekend). i do complete bj probably like 3 times a month. Link to comment
jingletruck Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I understand but let's put intercourse aside for a moment. My question to men is: How often do you get a blow job from your wife? My wife usually gives me oral before sex. As far as a full blow job to completion, I would say maybe twice a week on average. Probably not what you want to hear, but my ex was exactly the way you describe. She would not go down on me for more than a minute, and absolutely refused to let me come in her mouth. Anal was completely off the table. It was a great relationship, but I decided I didn't want to spend the next 20 years envying other guys their sex lives. Link to comment
zccr3279 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Girlfriend gives me BJ 1 to 2 times per weekend. But, she isn't fond of sex (at all). That's maybe 1 per 2-3 weekends. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I only see my bf on the weekends, and I'll usually always go down on him before sex. Other times, I'll just go down on him just for the sake of doing it because I know he loves it. Link to comment
OrangeSlice Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Well do you trim yourself down there? If there is a lot of hair it will hold all the smell of it. You don't have to make it hairless, but you should keep the hair at a small enough level that it won't retain any smell. Also after you use the bathroom it is good to wipe the tip of "yourself" with some toilet paper. Also some women just don't like having it in their mouth while others just love it. Link to comment
Silvergalaxy Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I give him oral as part of foreplay about half the time. A full blow job, about once every 2 weeks unless he asks for more (and during my period). I wouldn't mind doing it more often but since we usually have sex only once a day and oral doesn't do it for me, I want to make sure there'll be intercourse. Link to comment
belleamie03 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I love giving my boyfriend oral sex, and would give them to him daily if we lived together. We see each other 2-3 times a week, and usually on each visit I'll give him a BJ, if not during the sex then definitely the next morning when he's waking up. If she doesn't enjoy it though then it probably wouldn't be much good anyway. Maybe you could talk to her about giving you a hand job instead..... and ease her into the idea of having more sex and foreplay. They say that the more sex you start having the higher your sex drive gets. Maybe surprise her with a romantic night away, or put lots of candles in the bedroom one night. Have some amazing sex that night and then the next day send her a bunch of flowers at work saying how much you enjoyed last night and how you can't wait to re-live it tonight. She obviously has lost her drive to have sex with you, and needs a little encouragment. Make her feel sexy and beautiful and loved, make her see how much you want her. I don't know how any woman could resist that. Link to comment
2much2early Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 A couple times a week I'll go down on him to finish intercourse that way. During that week of the month, I give him complete BJs almost daily. Lucky guy. Link to comment
Mark_h Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Oral sex to ejaculation? Never. Oral sex as part of 'build up', once or twice a week. Link to comment
DrKitten Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Lucky guy. Well, he is also excellent at returning the favor. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I get some oral everytime we have sex, usually before and sometimes intermingled in. I get a full blowjob to completion almost anytime I ask. She also gives me an amazing handjob on request. Link to comment
piruru Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Oral is a vital part of our sex life. I give oral almost every time we have sex as part of foreplay (we don't live together and we're temporarily LDR so we have marathons). Sometimes he finishes off in my mouth or we go from vagina to mouth back to vagina. Even after he cums inside me or on me, he sometimes likes me sucking him clean too, which usually ends up leading to more. As for blow jobs to completion, under normal circumstances it usually happens 1-2 times a week, sometimes more if I'm on the rag. If he asks for a bj, I usually indulge him too. Sometimes I get bored and I just suck him off because I enjoy it. Suffice to say, my boyfriend really loves blow jobs. I like pleasuring my man too so it works pretty well. I am actually quite surprised that a lot of couples aren't having oral as often as they should. Link to comment
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