Ex GF's New Guy - Why does she keep telling me about him?

[anon728]

My gf of 2+ years dumped me ~2 months ago. We had been having a lot of problems, so it wasn't a shock. We spoke for a few weeks, but then I went NC and have not initiated contact in 1 month.

 

Well, she started seeing this new guy right away. They've been spending a lot of time together...already met each other's parents etc. During this time, she continued to send emails/talk about how hard it was to break-up, how much I meant to her, but that it just wasn't working right now. However, she made a point to talk about the new guy...not sexually, just that they had done this, or gone out with so-and-so, and that things were going well. It seemed as though she was kind of flaunting him, although not blatantly; mainly, she was telling me about him like a friend would.

 

Since NC, she has emailed me ~6 times, mainly about light stuff. I have responded, but in non-emotional language. She has not talked about the new guy since NC (although, I assume they are still together).

 

My question is why would she seemingly go out of her way to talk about him to me? I mean, if I were in her shoes, I would have had more respect for her, and kept it to myself (unless she asked). I guess you could argue either way: either she is trying to make me jealous (which I doubt, since it has been NC for a month and she has not talked about getting back together), or she is really just talking to me like a friend.

 

Any ideas?

[Paradise]

My first thought was that she respects you. You must be a wonderful guy if she can still confide in you and seem to enjoy the times she can talk to you. Looks to me like she likes your friendship (which is a wonderful thing). Are you trying to get back together? I wouldn't. Don't get hung up - date other girls and enjoy yourself, and most of all enjoy the fact that you are the kind of person that this former girlfriend can still appreciate. If she wants to get back together with you, she will tell you, and then you decide what you want to do from there. Don't think too much about it until then - it may never happen. Hat's off to you for being a genuine caring guy!

[anon728]

Paradise, thank you for the kind words. I had not thought about it that way...the fact that I should be proud that she still enjoys the friendship. As I mentioned, I have not initiated any contact in 1 month, and my responses to her emails have been light and friendly, even jokingly in some of them, so if anything, I am just laying foundation for a possible friendship in the future. This is one situation that I will let her take the lead (if she wants to get back together).

[electricekcentric]

HEAD GAMES!weather this guy does exist,or doesnt exsist,she is playing head games.most likely,to get a reaction from you,because you are not acting like a person that has been dumped acts.men are prone to react instantly to any situation.thus,you are not reacting accordingly.which is very confusing for her because normally it would be"oh whos this guy"?are you having sex?etc etc etc.stay cool.