I'm very confused.

[DogsAreLove]

Hi everyone, I've neglected these forums for a while so I'm sorry.

Long story short: I was thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend for a number of reasons, we didn't break up we just had a long emotional talk and decided to work it out. It turned out I wasn't being the best girlfriend I could be either. I was really really happy that we were going to work things out. This was at the end of February.

 

Now here we are, in April, 2 months later, and I'm downright confused. Our one year is in a few weeks. He has never directly told me he loves me. During that fight he said "I thought I was in love with you but I don't know if I can love someone I fight with all the time". I told him I had been in love with him since the summer. He said he thinks he loves me but needs a few months to figure it out if all goes well (a few months? seriously?)

 

So he still hasn't said it. Every day that goes by and he doesn't say it I think I die a little inside. It doesn't help that I think I have depression (I don't feel like getting into it, but it's not about my relationship although I'm sure it's adding some unnecessary bad feelings, and I am going to my doctor in a few weeks to get help before it really escalates).

 

I feel like my feelings are beginning to change for him because he hasn't said he loves me yet. It's starting to push me away. The relationship has improved a lot and he is a great boyfriend but I'm just starting to feel like... not into it? I don't feel like I'm getting back what I'm giving emotion wise?

 

I don't feel like it's fair to string him along if I'm not into it. I want to see if he will actually say he loves me on our one year anniversary. It's very likely that he will. I'm not sure if that will help the cause. I feel like he knows how I feel about him already so the ball is in his court. He tells me he cares about me and all that mushy kind of stuff but never what I really have been wanting to hear for a really long time now. I don't get why he needs a few months to think about it.

[Chadman82]

I would end this, either you love someone or you dont! If he loved you, he would know it, and would tell you. Love is not something you can control. When i know i love someone, it drives me crazy until i tell that person. I would seriously think about moving on, its hard, i know, but it will just be a emotional roller coster ride if you drag it out and wait to hear something that he doesnt feel. Just my thoughts anyways.

[DogsAreLove]

thank you so much for the response. Honestly when I started feeling like I was in love with him it drove me nuts and I hoped every time I saw him he'd say it but it's been disappointment after disappointment. (I didn't want to say it first because my opinion is if a guy loves me he will tell me asap... and I guess in Feb I kindof did say it first and still never got a clear I love you too back so that was like a huge stab)

I want to wait the few weeks to see if he will say it on our anniversary...

What kills me is he acts like he loves me in many ways but I need to hear it. Shouldn't he be going insane screaming it at me every day?

He says he's one of those guys who takes his time with everything. We saw eachother for 4 months exclusively before becoming an "official" couple. After the second month I just assumed he was my boyfriend because he acted like it. I was wrong lol.

This "I take a long time and rushing things leads to failure" attitude is also evident in him not saying he loves me. It also makes me think that I will be his girlfriend for 10 years before becoming his fiance, and his fiance for 5 years before becoming his wife. I'm not saying I want to get married to him (at this point I can't see it) but the thought of being with someone that long before they realize they want to marry me is a slap in the face. It's already a slap in the face that he doesn't love me yet. Sorry for the long response just needed to vent some more I guess.