Im soooo sick of this

[stevef20]

Hi,

 

Please help guys,

 

I'm keeping myself busy, im exercising, I'm going out and even seeing a councillor, been to the Dr and taking meds.

 

So why am I still hurting so much ? When that gut feeling hits me it quite literally devastates me, I feel completely empty and broken, my heart brakes and the sense of loss sends my mind to very dark places.

 

I'm sick of feeling so miserable, what the hell is wrong with me ?

 

A very sad man

[endy]

There is nothing wrong with you. You are killing the love inside yourself. You need to accept what is happening. You are going through a lot right now. It will get better. Know that love comes from inside of you. That is all that you need is the love that you have for yourself. You are a good person and things will get better.

 

Give this a read... link removed

[iBroken]

Since your Join date is March 2011, I assume your break up was recent.

 

Getting over it isnt an overnight thing. It takes lots of time to mend the heart. And patience.

 

Just accept that there will be good and bad days....and dont rush it

[stevef20]

Thanks endy, ill give that link a read tonight.

 

I do hope you're right, feels like I'm going nuts.

[endy]

Give it a read and try to understand the love part of it.

[stevef20]

Thanks broken.

 

Q, should I still be breaking down everyday ?

 

I'm trying to be patient but don't seem to be getting any better.

 

Just frustrated, sorry

[jonesyjakk]

hey steve,

 

as regards to the above q, yes, mate breaking down is part of the healing, i dunno if you ever been in the army...but i have and im gonna use this analogy ok...may not be the best but bare with me...

 

when you are in love....everything is lovey dovey......when you live on civvie street, everything is good, when you are in love nothing can touch you, and when you live on civvie street, rarely if ever is someone gonna really get in your face unless you go looking for trouble.

 

when you split up....your world is broken...when you join the army.....you get broken.......when you break up with someone, you have to break down, into bits and why? when you join the army....you get broken in half, half again and half again and all the halves get smashed into a million pieces.....

 

when you are broken because of love, broken into a million pieces, and when the army breaks you into a million pieces....its so that YOU CAN REBUILD YOURSELF into something....in the case of love....you rebuild your heart.....and you make it what you want...you can decide to put up a wall to ensure it never gets breached again, or you can make it strong enough to with stand another break up......when the army breaks you down...they do it to rid you of all you once were, so you can be built into something they desire you to be......they make the weakest into the strongest and the strongest even stronger....

 

im also gonna use this since i was a personal trainer...the simple science of muscle building.....

 

when you exercise you break your muscle fibres.....

 

when you you break up.....you break your heart

 

when you rest the muscle repairs....

 

when you take time for you your heart repairs.....

 

that muscle after rest has repaired itself with a few fibres making it bigger and stronger......

 

im gonna leave you fill in what happens to your heart.....

 

keep going bro!

 

jonesy

[mrsmagellan]

When I was particularly devastated about a breakup, I remember asking a friend, "What do I do? How do I move on from here?"

 

He responded, "One day at a time." At the time, that comforted me more than anything else I could have heard.

 

It's really difficult to readjust your life and lifestyle after a loss like that. When you're used to having a partner, spending a lot of time with that person, and having love and happiness, it's a challenge to rearrange your life. You need to find another focus. And that focus should be yourself.

 

It won't be easy. Recovery from a breakup is a hard road, especially if you were with that person for a significant amount of time. My advice is to continue what you're doing: exercise (it really does wonders if you let it!). See your counselor, talk it out. Treat yourself with the love and compassion that you deserve during this rough time. And when you have these debilitating emotions, confront them head on. Cry if you have to. A good cry has the potential to be very cathartic.

 

Eventually life will lead you in the direction you were meant to go. Let it, and don't dwell in the past. Good luck with everything.

[sadchick83]

Generally the meds take 6 weeks to kick in. I'm not sure when you started

Taking them, but you will see a difference. I know it is really hard, but have something selfish to look forward to.

Don't even look at the price. Maybe do something spiritual?

 

In my case my father is about to die. Looking back I am actually a bit thankful for my BU because

It allowed me to spend more time with him since I found comfort in going home to my parents on the weekend.

 

Steve, it could get worse. I see people in the hospital in wheelchairs, or very sick. I know its hard by please

Try to appreciate what you do have-physical health or whatever.

 

We are all here for you and know how you feel.

[stevef20]

Jj, tary, sad,

 

Thank-you so much for your posts, I really do appreciate every little bit of advice I get when I'm so down, your support for me is invaluable.

 

Thanks so much

[MommaJ]

when you find yourself spiraling into "dark thoughts", stop what you are doing, if you can...sit in a chair or lay in bed and do these three things to calm down.

 

1. hear your heartbeat and keep listening for it

2. tap your fingers while hearing your heartbeat

3. keep track of your breaths, while tapping your fingers, and listening to your heartbeat.

 

The brain can usually only focus on 3 things at a time. Doing these things for 5 minutes will calm you down and help you focus on positive things in your life.

[hurtgurl]

*hugs* Bloody hard isn't it.

Hope things get better for you soon xx