Did she actually love me or was it just fun she wanted?

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

Well, I have posted before, now i don't know what to think about what happened between me and my ex. Well anyway my ex and i did not have sex but we did have oral sex, and we did give each other the hand. I am beginning to wonder if my ex really meant all of that. I don't know but with things that has happened before we dated it makes me wonder now. She told me that she cheated on her pervious boyfriend by stripping in front of a webcam several times. She obviously did regret that and still does. but she also told me that she let these two guys give her hickies and she never even met them. She seemed to like it. I think wrong to let people you don't even know do that. This all happened before we started dating, and now i wonder if took advantage of me and just wanted to have fun with me. She gave me the impression the whole time we were dating that she loved me, i mean she told me like everyday, and she told me how much i meant to her and stuff like that, but now that she dumped me i wonder if it is all a bunch of lies and that she just said that and acted like that just to have fun and see how far i'd go. Was i lied to? am i just thinking that because i'm hurting now?

 

When stuff did happen like that started happening it was her that put my hands and stuff there. I don't know what to think she gave me the impression that she loved me but she also talked about it behind my back to her friends,( who also had boyfriends). I found out from one of them that all she talked about me was things involving sex and fantisies and stuff like that. So what were her intentions? I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not sure if it was love because if she loved me she would still be with me right?

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

well i went out with her for 8 months, and she has had 2 other boyfriends besdies me. the last relationship lasted for about a year, i'm not sure about the other one though. She didn't always make the move in "that" sense it was only at first so. But i don't know if she meant or not anymore.

[Gilgamesh]

Some women love to be the center of attention, they like the feeling of men wanting them, its like a sense of power, makes them feel good about themselves, Your ex may or may not love you, but she misses all that attention she used to get when she wasn't committed to someone, she has a lot of growing up to do.

 

My advice for you is, stand your ground, do not give her what she wants, don't be like any other guy. basically what your saying to her is,, I wanted you for your personality, not because of your sex, if thats all you have to offer then I'm sorry, but thats not what attracted me to you in the first place. You don't have to say this in words, your actions will say everything. don't be surprised if she tries harder after you reject her, she wants that feeling of being wanted and desired real bad. its like a drug for her.

 

Stick to your guns, don't give up on your values, you want commitment, and you want a long term relationship, make it clear that its going to be by those rules, your a package deal, its all or nothing.

 

You having oral sex and all that with her, in a way is showing her that those values aren't important to you.

 

If she cant give up on flirting to get attention, then let this fish go, and find yourself a woman thats grown up and matured enough to know that all that attention she gets is shallow and doesn't mean a thing.

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

Well she did know that i was into her and not her sex, i told her that and i made sure that she knew that. But maybe she did take advantage of my trust and got her fun with me. She did tell me that she was happy that i wasn't into sex and all that like a lot of people are. She seemed intrested in sex though... so i don't know. maybe she did take advantage of me and the situatiion. I don't know anymore. i wish i did. Maybe i'm thinking of her in a nasty way because i'm hurting, i don't know, but there is something that tells me that she took advantage of me.

[Gilgamesh]

Its not so much about taking advantage, she is young and still really doesnt know what she wants. I dont think she planned it all out before hand.

 

Guys do this also, they have the greatest girl and had every good intention of staying with her, and they love them, but they are not ready to be tied down, they want to be "single men" and see whats out there, etc. read this forum and you will see so many of these situations.

 

I just thing she as some growing up to do, and she is not what your looking for at this time. Guess what? you also are learning, this was just one of many experiences you will have during your life, learn from them, try and find what the lesson was, dont make the same mistakes again.

just when you think you learned it all, life finds the way to "teach" you again.