ferna3069 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 my ex broke up with me about one month and a week ago.i started no contact because every time my ex talked to me she gave me mixed signals.she would get mad over nothing. im on day twelve of no contact. i been telling myself she probably found some one else by now. she moved on. she does not care about me.she was mean to me. i finally brought myself to cry today/but i miss her so much. i started no contact and i need suport . because i want to call her so bad. but im telling myself its over. im never going to talk to her agiani need support on how to get over her.i have been reading healing journals.i started to go to the gym. i want to move on.i dont want to have the feeling that she will come back. i need as much advice as i can get Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 You can't rush healing. Crying and thinking of her IS moving on. Going to the gym and trying new things is a part of moving on, but so is grieving for what you've lost. Don't avoid feeling the pain - ride the wave and work through it. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 what are new things i can do? im looking for a job i want to meet new people. when i was with her i had the chance to have new friends.but she would get jelous. there was even a girl who was my type. who i thought was cute. but im not a cheater. so i did not go with her. i did not even flirt with her. because i honerd my relationship. i dont believe in cheating. but a good relation is hard to find. i dont like going on so many dates for no reason. i am the romantic type of guy. but i dont fall inlove very easy.i know its my fault for not meeting new people. but i cant just go out to the mall and say hi to the fist people i see. i want to meet new friends because my old ones changed. i was with my ex for two years. and my best friend almost got me killed after the break up. he changed alot/ i just want to meet new people. then maybe i can meet my type of girl Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Llama makes a good point - do not bottle up the emotions. A lot of guys specifically do this, and it just turns out even worse when it all comes out again. Every try rockclimbing? Some sort of dancing like salsa? Give that a shot. Keep going to the gym, Not only will you look better, but you'll feel better too. It really does help healing. Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Don't push yourself to go out on dates. You are still posting threads about your ex, so dating someone else is just a way avoiding dealing with the pain and it won't help. What are you interested in? Even just trying new foods or going for a drive to somewhere you've never been will help. It's still early days so if you feel like a zombie, that's ok too. The fog will lift soon enough. In the meantime fill your time with things that you love. Treat youself like you would a special friend. And it IS ok to cry if you are a man. Moving on means crying your eyes out. It doesn't mean you are failing to move on, quite the opposite. Link to comment
MadxMythMadame Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I think you should give yourself the chance to actually feel like sh*t. I know, it sounds like a bad idea, but, honestly, you're always going to miss her and thrusting yourself into meeting people isn't the best idea because you're probably not at your best right now. Not even okay. Second, think about what you want right now in life other than her. Break-ups are about finding away to take those millions of pieces that were shattered and picking them back up and redefining yourself. Get to know yourself without her because believe it or not, you're all of a sudden this different person without her and it's time to develop that. They don't call it single for no reason, right? So, making friends and being with friends helps. That's great, but figure out how to be comfort with being by yourself because I hate to tell you, hon, without that other person - even with the world's most supportive friends - it's lonely. My ex and I were together for about 3 and half years - engaged for two years - and dumped me about almost two months ago. I'm still madly in love with him. I can't really make any contact with him and have really restrained myself to ever do so. It really sucks and I cry as much as I can, but you know what? I've survived. You can too, hon. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 thanks for the support every one. i just hate the feeling. and i know that i have to let it flow threw me. but i heart that meeting new people is the best thing you can do. and im trying to deal with been by myself to. i just wanted to make new friends. not to spend the whole day with them. but when you meet new friends you also try new things. alot of people told me. meeting new people will help me threw this. to know that she isnt the only one i can have fun with.also alot of things when we where together changed me. it gave me fear to do alot in life. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Definitely let the feelings out as they come up. Just ride the wave, and try not to tense up too much, and they will pass. In terms of making new friends: the internet is a good place to find kindred spirits doing group activities you are interested in. Not sure where you are located, but link removed has tons of groups. It's low-pressure, low-commitment. For now, if you are feeling too emotional to jump into get-togethers with new people, you can at least go through the listings and join some groups, and then go to gatherings when you feel up to it. You're in the early days of healing, and they are brutal, no two ways around it. The only way past it is to go through it. You can do it! Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 one more thing. i took down every thing my ex gave me when she broke up with me. i was going to throw it away. but every one told me not to do anything that i kight regret. she also gave me her class ring and stuff that have to do with her past. i was not going to throw that away but i was going to give it to her.when i told her she said keep it till we are ready. then i kept on telling her i cant keep it. but she gets mad at me. i have everything in a box i havent thrown anything away. what should i do with it? Link to comment
MadxMythMadame Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Give it to a trusted friend, bury it, or pull it in the attic, basement, etc. Out of sight, out of mind. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Boxing up all the mementos is a great move. Don't throw it out. Hide it somewhere waaay out of sight for now. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 good idea. i gave it to my brother and told him not to tell me where he put it. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted April 16, 2011 Author Share Posted April 16, 2011 im trying to not think of my ex . all the good memories are coming to mind. it hurts so bad. i want to call her but im not. i need sterngth.i know i can get over her. but how long will it take me sto stop loving her? its been a month and a half i was with her for two years and four months Link to comment
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