stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Hi all, Ill keep it brief. Been 28 days nc now, ive accepted she has gone and that i have to move on with my life without her, i have no intention to break nc. I have good and bad days like everyone else, i find though that when im having a bad day, its a terrible one, I miss her so very much, my love for her has not dimished even the slightest bit and i guess i miss what we had even more (sobbing). I was so happy. I really want her to be happy and have a great life but must i suffer like this in return ? I really am missing her today my friends Steve Link to comment
kiwiana Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 It does get better, it just takes time ... and alot of it I still miss my ex dearly and we broke up 10 months ago!! I know exactly how you feel, its only been 28 days nc, so its still very early days for you. Just keep your head held high, go out with your friends and focus on you and it will get better, I promise Link to comment
Snowy Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 It definitely hurts. You're a man. You've gotta hang in there! Give it a few months, things will get better. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thank you Kiwi, I appreciate your comment and its always nice to hear that things will get better from someone who is experiencing the same. Its weird that we actually know this stuff yet take comfort from someone else telling us the same. Thanks again and good luck Steve Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks Snowy, I know ill get there, really do. Just need to be told it occasionally. Link to comment
Esteller Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 So reassurance is what you need? Everything gets better in time my friend, I believe the world works in misterious ways, for example usually when people focus on themselves to create a better you everything else starts to balance out and fall into Place. Your feelings will subside.. You will come to the true understandings and acceptance. Also coming to some understandings in life generally too like your human... It's ok to make mistakes, time is short... Stuff likethat and no one lives forever.. Everyone has great times and bad but you have the power to choose if you want to still have great times.. Wish you luck and always keep pushing forward, don't look back Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thank you Esteller, Sometimes a little reminder of how short our life on this earth is and what to do going forward doesnt go a miss. Thanks again Link to comment
Esteller Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 It's no problem.. But what helps is like a little sticky note of some sort to help you thru the days and then sooner or later it becomes weeks, to months and then sooner than you know it's going good! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 This thread and the comments you guys make will be my little sticky note board. Thanks again Link to comment
optimistguy08 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I m going through the same thing at the moment. Its the worst feel that you have if you know that you did something to freek her out and you have no chance to correct it and specially when you are in Long distance. Its annoying mate.. I can understand, but guess what you are not alone in the world.. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks opti, I know mate, we are all here for the same reason give or take a little, really helps having found this site as im sure youll agree. Link to comment
optimistguy08 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Yup.. Googled to find this site and thought someone will be able to give right direction.. but I guess its in our mind.. As much as I know that my gal will not contact me, somehow its stuck in mind that she may.. I was'nt that bad.. I guess same goes to you.. Hope is a killer, but cant live without it as well. Today or tomorrow we will realize what happens happens for good.. and it will be that time when we will move on. There is no fairy tail in real life. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Agreed, hurts like hell though. I'm feeling so devastated right now, I'm sobbing as I type this hurting more than ever before. Heart broken Link to comment
kingofatlantis Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Yup it's all just a temporary state of mind, it'll get better with time and you'll soon realize how much better your life will get! it never hurts to be single and work on yourself make sure you do that during your down time! as long as you put you first and go have fun because lets face it you can now do the fun things you couldn't while in a relationship. You'll find another who will be better than the last that's an absolute certainty. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks king, Your post is very honest and genuine, received with thanks. Steve Link to comment
Helpmetoheal Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Steve... let me join you in what you're (we're) going through. Its been 21 days NC for me, 3 months since BU. Yesterday was a throw back to the early days of the break up. I was beating up on myself something fierce. All the hurt, blame, resentment came flooding back onto me for no apparent reason. I have good stretches that last a few days then bang, right back to the heartache. This is all I can do, come here and let it out. Had to take a sedative last night to get some rest. I did sleep, but down side, awful nightmares I was happy to wake from. I wish I had the magic to make you feel whole again, but if I did I wouldn't be here either! Keep coming back here, it helps. Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Hey steve, I'm on day 23, of both NC, and the break up, so I'm not far behind you. Right now I can honestly say its a lot better than it was during weeks 1 and 2, but at the same time, I still feel there's a good amount of healing to be done. The big thing to remember is this is not a race or a contest, just do it at YOUR pace. I'm taking each day for what it is, making choices here and there to better myself and I know eventually one day everything will fall into place. I'm doing just fine as far as being able to concentrate at work, eating right, sleeping good, working out, so if my EX is on my mind for a bit during the day... who cares? It doesn't bother me because it's still somewhat fresh, and I know I'm doing the right things. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks for your comments guys. Jerseykid, i would love to be as strong as you but sadly im not, take your point re the race though, i know its going to be slow but boy when it hits it hits. Link to comment
LoveHearts21 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I broke up with my ex boyfriend 3 month ago. We have had no direct contact but I have tried to contact him on facebook and through mutual friends. He ignored me most of the time which hurt even more. If theres one thing I hate it's being ignored, it really does wind me up and my emotions were running high so it made me more angry and upset. I just couldnt/can't accept it's over. Even a reply from him would have made me feel a little better. Instead I have had to deal with the rejection so it has been a tough 3 months but I can honestly say it is getting better with time. I do still think of him every day and wonder what he is up to and if he is with another woman. The thought of him with someone else makes me really upset but I can't get that thought out of my mind. I look back now and wish I never tried to contact him but I just couldn't stop myself at the time. If I could change it all, I would have stuck with no contact. That way he would think I was doing fine without him and getting on with my life. It would also have gave him time to miss me and wonder what I am up to but instead I have made things 100x worse and drove him further away. I have learned from this so I have stopped trying to contact him and will have to deal with the fact he's not coming back! We haven't had any direct contact for around 4 weeks now and I do still miss him & keep hoping he will contact me. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Summer, Your story is identical to mine hon, i really mean that, from the 3 months since being ditched to the nc for the last 4 weeks. still hurts like hell but then i guess thats because we still care about them. Lets hope that everyone is right and in the end we come out of this smiling again. Thanks for your post. Link to comment
LoveHearts21 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 The first two months of the break up was hell. I was crying a lot and even dreaming about him every night. He was on my mind all day day every day (he still is but I am not crying as much). He has a jekyl and hyde personality - He's loving when he is sober but after a few pints he is nasty and violent towards me. I really don't know why I would take him back! I am thinking too much of his good side rather than his bad side. It's funny because he was the one that chased me for 6 months.. I wasn't really attracted to him so I kept saying no. In the end I decided to go on a date with him and took things further. He did grow on me but to be honest I still wasn't all that interested in him. He was more interested in me than I was in him. I should have walked away from him months ago but instead I kept going back, I would have felt better for it too as he would have been the one that was rejected - not me. It's only since he rejected me that I've wanted to get back with him and I really do miss him (well his sober side). Even if we couldn't be together again, I would have just been happy to have ended things on a good note instead of arguing/fighting everytime we see each other. I have only started to feel happier again the past few days. I think texting his friend asking him to forward the text has made me feel better about the whole situation. I sent a text saying 'Tell ex thank you for all he has done because I couldn't be more happier without him'. That way he will think I am doing great without him and moving on with my life which is what we need our ex's to think even if it's not true I know deep down I deserve better than him but I really can't help my feelings for him. Rejection is a funny thing! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Isn't that the truth. Roll on bedtime. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Summer, Where are you in UK ? Link to comment
LoveHearts21 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I was going to PM you but there is no option? I am from Sunderland. What about you? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Yeah, I tried pm you earlier but wouldn't let me. Very near Brighton, you having the amazing weather ? Link to comment
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