butterfly6585 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I'm bawling my eyes out at the moment (haven't cried this hard in a long time) & I could really use some support and/or tough love from you guys. Since my ex & I broke up several months ago, I've gone NC here & there quite a few times to try to move on since he's basically been jerking me around for all this time. (Begging for me back & then when I finally agree deciding he's not "ready" yet). Whenever I've gone NC with him, the very longest I've managed to go before giving in & talking to him again was 14 days. The very longest HE has ever gone without contacting me was only about 3 days. However, the last time I heard from him was March. 25th (sent me two texts) & the last time we spoke on the phone was a few days before that. The first few days I didn't hear from him after the 25th, I didn't really think much of it & was actually a little glad to have a bit of space from him. Normally even when I'm trying to do NC, he'll try to contact me on almost a DAILY basis. However, a couple days ago, I started really missing him & so I texted him. No response. Then I called him. No response. To make a long story short, after several attempts him (yes, I know...not good) to contact him over the past few days, I haven't heard a word from him. He has just been completely ignoring me. I finally gave up last night once it became pretty clear that he for whatever reason doesn't want anything to do with me right now & I didn't try to contact him at all today. I also noticed on the dating site that we're both on that he hasn't logged in in about a week now which just happens to coincide perfectly with how long it's been since he last contacted me. So, I figure it's safe to assume that he's met another girl from that dating site & is all totally enamored with her & is maybe even seeing her exclusively now & that's why he all of a sudden could care less about me. I realize he doesn't "owe" me anything, especially since we're not together anymore. But...it just is really messing with my head that he just completely dissapeared on me with absolutely no explanation or anything. It's just so out of character for him to have gone this long without contacting me. He's dated (supposedly exclusively) two girls since we split up & both times he was with these girls, he still continued to contact me almost every single day. So, it just seems weird that even if he is seeing someone else now, that he would just suddenly completely cut me out of his life. So, that makes it especially hard on me because I just keep thinking "Wow, he must be REALLY totally enamored by this new girl". Having a really hard time coping with this tonight... Link to comment
Allipie Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 eh...he's messing with you. If I were you, I'd move on and find someone else who will not treat you like dirt! I know that's easier said than done, but TRY! I wouldn't assume anything regarding his actions, or lack there of. You could be totally wrong, and if you act upon your emotions, you will only make the situation worse. move on, girl. Link to comment
PrincessBOT Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 My suggestion in times like this is get mad....It may seem a little off, but it has got me through those times when I too was crying so hard I couldn't breath. I fell on the floor grasping my heart that felt like it was literally breaking and beating itself out of my chest. There was no one in the house except me and I was scared and broken on the floor crying and trying to breath. I felt to live I had to get angry. I got so mad at my ex for how he treated me. That anger helped me get through. I eventually dealt with the anger at a later time when I was stronger and able to deal with the hurt much better. After reading what you've gone through, you should have no problem getting angry. You can reconcile your anger later, but you need to get to a place where you make him your enemy and treat him as such so you can't get hurt anymore. Link to comment
dedem Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 He's dragging you through the mud, sweetie. Your best bet is to let yourself get angry, like princess said. He's stringing you along, and you just don't deserve that. Let him go be with new girl. And those other two are no doubt also angry at him, so you're not alone in dealing with this man. He'll likely continue this pattern of dating and dumping until he's all alone, wrinkly and ugly sitting somewhere in a nursing home with neither friends nor family. Or teeth. He'll get what he deserves in the end. Just remember that it's her problem now, not yours, and you've every right to get mad. And afterwards, you'll accept that he's just another jerk and move on. Best of luck. Link to comment
butterfly6585 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 Thank you very much for your input & support ladies. I really appreciate it. Link to comment
butterfly6585 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 I felt alot better yesterday. Probably because I had fun hanging out with my family so that helped take my mind of my ex. Are any of you also having to deal with your ex suddenly going NC on you?? Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 hes not worth your pain, forget this joker! Link to comment
gallop30 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 guys don't like girls like that. today i'm in ex hating mood Link to comment
gallop30 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 you want a guy with big arms and tiny dk Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Hmmmmm....gallop made a funny.......haha nice to see your sense of humour is ever present my friend! Link to comment
butterfly6585 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Back to feeling really sad today. I hate this roller coaster of emotions. Part of me is really tempted to contact him but then I stop myself by thinking "Why? What exactly is contacting him going to accomplish? He probably will once again just not even answer the phone or text you back & then you'll be feeling even worse then you alreay do". Link to comment
ChellyV Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 hi butterfly - he started going NC and he was not even my ex yet at that time! that was his way of telling me goodbye! i waited and got tired, went through the process of denial, angry, depressed but i eventually got tired. so we didnt have any closure. NC till this day and NC it will be. start journaling, if you are into writing. go out for a walk. call your friends and vent vent vent. but thats for tonight. tomorrow shall be another day, do not let him win tomorrow. may it all be better. Link to comment
springfvr Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Try not to worry about the dating site thing. If he met someone he really liked he would most likely delete his profile. Maybe he is just taking a break from it or is busy. Link to comment
butterfly6585 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks for your input chelly & spring. chelly-Actually, last time he had a GF (after he & I broke up), he left his dating profile up while he was with her. He said that she left hers up so I guess he figured he'd leave his up too. So, he left his profile up while he was with her but he (as far as I know) didn't log into the dating site at all while he was with her. You're right though, one would think that if you're REALLY into someone that you'd delete your dating profile all together. However, I think he probably is seeing someone else exclusively (again) now since there seems to be a pattern where the only time he stops longing into his dating site on a regular basis is when he's gotten a new GF. Link to comment
allsunny Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Don't accept any of his attempts to contact you. It's hard, but you seriously have to tell yourself every time that it's over. Take this time to work on yourself and your future without him. I'm not saying to change, but working on your self-esteem or goals will help you move on faster. If anything, cry and let out all your emotions. However, please do not contact him or don't answer his attempts to reach out. It will get easier as time passes. Link to comment
butterfly6585 Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post allsunny. I really appreciate it. Link to comment
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