Friends or more?

[isitme]

Please help me out here...

 

I don't know if he likes me more than a friend or not? One of my friend who is a boy has been treating me very differently from other girls in my group. I've only known him for about five weeks but when I'm with him, I feel like I have known him for ages. He treats me as a much closer friend than his other friends who are guys. He will occasionally nudge me, or try and do little things to annoy me.

 

Whenever we are together, the rest of the group described us as siblings who are on each other back all the time. But whenever they mention it, he would just shakes his head and ignore it. He will ask me all sorts of questions when we are together like the type of guy im into, what i do during my spare time, do i like going out etc. He is the only one in my group who calls me by a nickname he came up with. He will call me 'loser' sometimes but i know he doesn't mean it. When we say bye to each other, he will always pat on my shoulder and always say 'see you', whereas i say 'bye' and i don't think he likes that very much because he always give me a weird look ( I don't even know how to describe it).

 

We were both in relationships before we met, but now we are both single. He will ask me about my ex and compare my ex to him...like; is he funny like me? i want to know how you were with him, do you miss him? etc.

 

When he asked me if i would date anyone now, i said i can't/won't as i don't have time due to my studies. He is in the same position as me, so i asked him the same question and he replied saying the same as you.

 

Am i thinking too much here?

[Tanzi]

Hmm it certainly sounds as though there may be something there ... we often tease people we are attracted too, mainly because we want to have interaction with them and any interaction will do but, of course, he could just be being friendly. He could be treating you differently because you are the only girl in the group.

 

Did you want to get together with this guy? If so perhaps you would have been better of saying "if the right person came along I would certainly think about dating them but I would have to take things slowly because of my studies" instead of giving him an outright "I can't" or "won't"

[FrogIsFree]

I think he really likes you.. but is coy about letting you know, so the nudging and teasing and hinting with questions about your x is his way of letting you know this.

 

I don't know..! You two as bad as each other.. don't have time because of your studies? Whatever! (I mean that in jest! ..)

, honestly though.. if you are on here posting about him and he, in my opinion, clearly likes you - maybe you should both reconsider the `too busy because of studies' reason.. are you both a bit proud to admit you like each other or are you genuinely too busy..?! Not saying I disbelieve you!

 

But I think that you can still be focused on your studies while having a boyfriend, it's just about striking a balance. I understand if you are worried and he is perhaps also concerned that you will be a distraction to each other at understandably a critical time in your lives, but you also need to balance serious work on studies with relaxing and socialising and that may include having a boyfriend! As long as you remind yourself daily/weekly that studies are important towards having a better future and talk about this.. you can then work out how to spend quality time together, without losing your focus on your studies and what you are aiming to achieve there.

I wish I had allowed guys to be my boyfriend when I was studying, I was so focused on studies I missed out and that interaction and got miserable seeing others having fun whilst still doing well in their studies, because they had more balance with socialising.. so it can give you a better sense of balance at learning to prioritise and manage your study time and your social time either with him or with friends or with him together with other friends which are transferrable skills for when you transition in to adulthood and have to manage responsibilities and pressures whilst at the same time being in a relationship. It's good practise.

Of course, if you are very young, you may not feel emotionally ready to handle having a boyfriend.. especially if? you have not had one before, but you could be ready and I don't want to assume anything about your emotional maturity and age here. So it's for you to decide and perhaps chat through with someone you trust to be sure you feel ready if you do decide you'd like to talk to him about it and you both agree you want to give it a go!

 

The fact that he gives you this `look' - can you try to describe it a bit more? - suggests he worries you mean it..! Lol bless him..! ie he wants to be sure he will see you again!

[isitme]

@ a_little_blue: I'm not sure at all. I think I would still like to get to know him a bit more before I jump into a relationship.

 

@ FrogIsFree: I think i'm starting to like him. Im using study as an excuse to stay away from relationship for a while because of my ex. I went out with him for like 2 months but then he started to get really attached and started talking about marriage and living together. This really scared me as he was my first bf and I just wasn't prepared for it. I used my study as an excuse and also because I didn't feel the same way as him...so i broke up with him.

 

With the friend I was talking about in my previous post, I'm really confused about him. His friends have started hinting about how he is different around me. The other day, he and I were talking on msn for the first time. He was a little upset about how he didn't do well in part of his class presentation and I tried to cheer him up. He then started talking about how he couldn't practice in front of me because I make him laugh all the time and he always end up saying silly stuff around me. Is he calling me a clown?

When we were dicussing about one of our team project (we are in the same team), he suggested that we should break up into pairs and work on it separately to finish it. He said he and I should pair up, and I replied in a joking way that I get more work done when I'm with another girl in the team and he said I was mean. He then started talking about how he is good at this and that..things I lack (joking way). He said my weaknesses are his strength... Does it mean anything?

 

But on the other hand, I don't think his ex is still over him and he isn't over her yet...even though he broke up with her first. I don't want to get in between them. What if he is using me to get over her? I told him today about how he shouldn't use other people to get over something and he said it is the only way which made me really upset. I think he noticed it and tried to cheer me up by saying random silly stuff and started tickling me.

 

Sometimes, I get the feeling that he really likes me and care about me, but other time, I'm confused about what I am to him. Should I just forget it?