I need an opinion from a lady

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

Well, I am in the middle of NC right now. I wish that i would have done that right away instead of pleaing and begging and etc. Well see the thing is that I never really had the feeling of love before really in my life until i met my ex and dated her. I never really felt any love from anyone really including my family. Well i did everything to show that i loved her. I know htat i only stressed her out and smothered her too much. Well I love my ex very much and long for her to be in my arms once again. Well right now we are both back at home and away and away from each other for the summer. She gets depressed when she goes home. It scares me. (she does have a history of cutting herself).Well the thing is before we were away there were times where she started to get depressed. I was afraid of us ending because i thought there was something wrong with us. I'd try to get close and show her that i was there and htat she could talk to me. I loved her and i cared. I feel that i smothered her too much by this and it drove her away. I gave her the impression that i was needy and clingy and couldn't live without her. THe night we broke up ( it was over the phone) i started to beat myself up. I really beat myself up while i was on the phone with her. I had bumps on my head, cut on my ear and nose bleeds. She heard all of this going on. I scared the crap out of her. I think she might still be afraid. After the break up i did ask for her back a lot of times. One time it did really get heated. She sent an e-mail to me calling me moapy and depressed and made me feel like crap. I was angry i sent and e-mail back to her saying "why would i want you back, i'm sorry for loving you etc." She was hurt and mad at me. I didn't mean what i say. I love her dearly. I regret scaring the crap out of her. After finding this website i did go NC. I am now giving her space. I wonder if any ladies out there had an experience with someone who seemed needy and were smothered too much? I know that i can live without my ex. I know that i don't need her in order to live and that there are others out there that can give me what my ex gave me. But I love my ex and i want her back. Do you think i have a chance of getting her back after all of this??

 

Also there is another thing... a few years ago she me this guy at camp. She became prettty close to him.This guy had a crush on her. And she did admitt to having a crush on him way before we started dating. She doesn't see him very often but next year this guy will be going to school with us. She talked about this guy all the time. She had pictures on her wall of him too. We have talked about this guy in our relationship. She said gave some pretty shallow reasons for not wanting him. She is not a shallow person. She finnally said that guy was like a little brother to her and that it just wouldn't happen between those two. I don't know, but if they are that close could they end up in a relationship?

 

So is there even a chance with me and my ex anymore because of all of this, me giving out the needy impression, and this thing with the other guy? thanks for taking the time to read this.

[looking_for_love]

I understand where you are coming from. I am a female, and although I have never really felt "smothered" by somebody, I have seen plenty of girls who do. Honestly, most of the people who feel that they are being smothered are not ready for that much commitment yet...maybe they are searching for themselves and don't really know what they want yet. Or maybe they just are confused about what they feel. Did she ever tell you that she loved you? Does she seem interested at all about getting back together now? You need to ask yourself these questions before you attempt anything else.

I guess that my advice to you would be to keep steady contact and don't mention anything for a little while, and make sure that you really do want to be with her. It sounds like the whole relationship just gave you a lot of trouble and that you are better off now. (I just came out of a relationship like that...and although it was hard to let go, I feel ten times better since I did...and it seemed impossible at first.) If you do decide that this is really something that you want, then go into it easily, since she obviously doesn't like being rushed. See where it goes. But if another potential opportunity comes along, don't push it off because it may end up being better for you and you aren't together with that girl. And, to be honest, most of the time if someone has a crush on someone else when they are in a relationship, it will most likely happen again. But these are just in my experiences. Just keep your head high...you sound like a really nice guy. I hope my advice helps you.

[mylifeisasoapoprea]

yeah she told me that she loved me. She told me everyday while we were going out. Sometimes over and over. However she doesn't seem intrested in getting back with me. She has said that she wants to be with me but she can't and that doesn't make sense to me at all.