Dating is just too confusing for me

[fitforlife]

I don't get this. I'm dating this girl right now and it's gotta be the most confusing thing I've ever been in. First, I have minimal "relationship" experience, so I don't really know what the hell I am doing to be honest. So, if someone could provide some insight, please try to help me out here?

 

Two main things I cannot for the life of me figure out:

 

1.) We went out this past weekend, she says she wants to go out again and will let me know when she's available again. So far it's Thursday and I haven't heard anything since last Saturday. Is it my job to initiate another date even though she said she would let me know when she's free again? I suspect she's going to just forget about me and plus, is a girl really going to say something like "hey, I'm free this weekend"? Come on, that's the guys job!

 

2.) How often do I talk to her. I mean, once a week? Once every two weeks? I'm really confused here what to do. Again I haven't talked to her since our date this past weekend at all. We've been out about five times - we aren't in a relationship or anything but I can tell it's potentially headed there if things progress. In a way I want to see what she's up too but I also realize probably nothing has changed within the past four/five days.

[aftershock879]

this could mean one of 2 things.....she meant what she said or she is not interested....but women rarely will ask a guy out on a date, as old fashioned as it sounds they prefer a guy to make the first move, I am not saying it never happens at all though.

 

I would just txt her and ask her how she is doing etc....wait to see what reply you get is the best bet.

 

You normally do get a vibe if a girl likes you though as there would be more contact via txt/fb/email.

 

Just test the waters and don't stress about it dude....how old are you btw?

[eternalsunrise]

1) If she really emphasized that she will let you know when she's free again, then how about you just call her to say hi today. Don't even mention meeting up again. Keep it light and brief. She knows she said she'd let you know; so if she doesn't bring it up then she's not available.

 

2) You can reach out with a phone call once or so a week. Think of it as as striking a balance.-If she's also into you, she'll reach out to you, too. The pace will set itself when there's mutual interest. Give her a call today to say hey.

[fitforlife]

I am 24 years old.

 

This is just mind-boggling to me. It makes no sense. I know she is interested because she is always doing things like commenting on my facebook, liking my status', nervous/shy in a cute way on dates. She even told her friends she had a great time out with me. Heck we even made plans to go out again and she said she was excited. I pretty much told her the day after our date "thanks for going out and I want to go out again, let me know when you are free" and she said she will be sure to let me know.

 

That's where we ended off - "I'll be sure to let you know". That's what I'm working with. This is just soooooooo freakin' confusing!!! It's been since Saturday and haven't heard from her or anything. Do I really think she is going to message me?? No, I do not. I think she has probably forgotten about me and what she said already.

 

I think you're right??? I will call her and just say "hey what's up hows your week going" etc...If she decides to not see me any more for checking up on her I will know not to do it with another girl. Or should I just wait another week or two to message her? I don't want to sound desperate but I am interested and I want to maintain our friendship and where this could be headed.

 

Going on dates, kissing goodnight, then not talking for a week or two is downright shady imo and that's where this is headed. Any other ideas???

[TakingtheBlame]

One thing I've learned through dating (and I've been dating pretty regularly for at least ten years with three longer term relationships thrown into the mix) is that it will never "make sense." It will never be logical, and if any relationship gets so difficult that you're sitting around pondering it like a mathematical theorem and being miserable, then all you can deduce is that it's not the right relationship for you. That's why communication in relationships is so important; because the only person who knows for sure why she's doing what she's doing is the person who is doing it.

[fitforlife]

Okay so I just sent her a txt message basically saying hey! what's up, how's your week and work going so far?

 

Does anyone see any issues with this based on what I wrote for the first post? Have I ruined anything now by messaging her/checking in? In my heart I felt like that's a good thing to do..check in, see how shes doing, etc. She very well may have not messaged me due to the same reason, nervous, unsure what to do, etc. I'm taking the initiate. And you know what, if things don't workout at least I know what to not do next time.

[arrakis77]

That's where we ended off - "I'll be sure to let you know". That's what I'm working with. This is just soooooooo freakin' confusing!!! It's been since Saturday and haven't heard from her or anything. Do I really think she is going to message me?? No, I do not. I think she has probably forgotten about me and what she said already.

 

Despite my own relationship woes, I'm 3-weeks/5-dates in with a girl and it's been a similar situation. I recommend you make a firm decision that you are interested in seeing her again, and plan to be the one initiating all forms of contact and scheduling the dates while in these early stages. Instead of being concerned about if/when she'll contact you, pay closer attention to the responsiveness and quality of her returns when you initiate contact. Basically, be the aggressor & pursuer with confidence, but in a calm manner.

 

Depending on your schedules and frequency of dates, try and reach out to her once or twice a week. Make sure at least one of those is a PHONE CALL. I recommend you setup the next encounter regardless of what she said and focus on the quality of your face to face time together, not what happens in-between.

 

Good luck!

[Day_Walker]

First I think that you have to decide what you want from this girl, is she relationship material or are you just looking to date. That will set the tone for how you interact with her.

[gabrielsnext]

Depending on the circumstances, this could mean about a million different things. From 1st impressions to commitment problems or outside influences it may be that's she's feeling rushed, not ready or simply trying to see how interested you are. If you haven't called her, I would at least send a friendly text asking how she's been. The worst that could happen is the 2 of you enjoyed spending some quality time together. You have very little to lose at this point so I suggest that you make the next attempt; she's either eagerly awaiting or just not interested. Whichever, you'll find out sooner than later. Best of luck!!