So My ex Finally Moved

[veedubdriver]

We broke up after 3 years together about 5 months ago. To sum it all up, neither of us were happy and a lack of communication was likely to blame. We have both dated over the past months and then I wanted her back.

 

She was seeing someone new, and claims it was not serious. She was planning on moving to FL in the next few months(We lived in NC). She would not accept me back and yes I did everything I was not supposed to to try and make her want me back. We have kept in contact, but she usually calls me, I rarely call her.

 

Last Friday (7/30) she moved to Florida, to pursue a new career; however, she did not have a career job yet, just thought there was more oppritunity in FL. I gave her a card and made a few CD's for her drive down. I called the next day to make sure she got there safely, and she did. I made the conversation quick, nothing more than just seeing if she arrived without incodent. She said she would call me and let me know how she was doing with the whole move in thing.

 

She just called me a few minutes ago, however I did not answer. I was busy playing a poker tournament online. As soon as I did not answer she called my roomate. SHe assumed that since I didn't answer the phone that I was out. He said let me go see. He told her I wasn't here, he knows not to blow me up. She told him that she needed my help with setting up her internet connection and to have me call her when I get home and once again repeated that if I were home I would have answered her call.

 

Here's the deal, I do think she wants to talk to me, not just for help with her internet. But, I do not want to talk to her if that is the only reason. I do not think I am going to call her back, I think I should just wait for her to call me again. Not wait by the phone, but just not call her. I do not know if she ended things with the new guy she was seeing, and I don't think I should ask either. She told me that it would end being she lives so far away now, but one never knows.

 

I don't even know what kind of advice I am looking for, or if I am looking for any at all. Maybe I am just getting things out of my head on this forum. I am starting to move on, but I do still want her back. I would like to do the whole NC thing, but right now I think she needs me as a friend, and I do not want to pi$$ her off so she quits wanting to talk to me all together. Her computer can wait as far as I am concerned, but I am the only one she knows that can walk her through setting it up. And she does need it to help her with her job hunt. I guess I may be kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place with the whole NC thing. What do ya'll think?

 

-veedub

[goddess23]

hey. ok the way your relationship with her is now at this point, you will totally hurt and CONFUSE her by not calling. her computer is somewhat of an excuse to probably talk to you, or maybe she is really just interested in keeping the friendship. either way you should talk to her. you seem confused about your own feelings. if you think that no contact with her is what you need then you need to tell her and going to do this favour for her might be a good oppertunity. but you should convey the message that you're confused about how you feel, maybe theres still a chance you two could get together, i dont know, but i think you guys havnt put a real closure on the relationship. and obviously one of this amount of time is really tough to just let go of. but DO CALL HER, TALK TO HER, this idea you have is just going to screw you up, and hurt and confuse her seriously. good luck ok!

[HangedGirl]

just call her.. do you know what matters in moving on? it's not forgetting 'cuz you'll absolutely fail in doin that.. it's just a matter of acceptance.. accepting the current situation.. if you'll be able talk to her plainly as a helping friend, not feeling the pressure of your past.. that's when you could say that you moved on.. but of course.. it takes time.. what i'm tryin to say is that the no contact thing could not probably work out for you.. since you have all the possibility of having her calls more often since she needs you assistance.. but don't worry on that.. if you could learn to accept things as to how they could only be.. you'll be able to move on..

[veedubdriver]

hey guys, thanks for the advice.

 

I did call hey this evenig after I got home from work. She called this mornig also, but I was at work. When I spoke to her tonight she said that she got her internet up and running by calling tech support. We had aome samll talk and said that her mother had emailed pictures of her new apartment to one of our mutual friends. She said I should ask our friend to forward them to me so I could see where she was living.

 

She asked me where I was last night when she called. I told her I was at a local bar which I wasn't, I was at home. I was tired because I was at work for 12 hours today and she asked me what was wrong. I told her I was tired, which I was. She told me I shouldn'e be partying so much. Then she asked who the girl was. Assuming I was with one. I told her I wasn't going to talk about that situation with her. She wanted to know why. I told her, I just won't. She said "If I were to start dating someone I would tell you". I said that I wouldn't want to know.

 

We ended the conversation shortly after that.

 

I am thinking of telling her that we do not need to cantact each other anymore unless something is seriously wrong in our lives. ie. family, etc. JUst curious if I should carry out with it. End our friendship for now and maybe forever. Until I can move on and start falling in love with someone else or have no intimate feelings for her. Gimme some feedback, this seems like a huge gamble on my part, PLEASE HELP!

 

-veedub

[HangedGirl]

if you really don't wanna have contact with her.. it really is better to tell her.. just tell her that you just wanna be honest with her.. that her calls are actually bothering you.. and ask her if it'll be fine with her if you ask her not to call you unless it's emergency.. just that.. if she would ask you why.. tell her you believe she knows why or just don't answer.. giving other reasons will just make things worse.. you could shift to another topic or end the conversation.. and of course.. do it all in good manner.. if she's matured enough.. she'll understand.. she may get hurt for she still value you.. but she would soon get over it.. you're far from each other so it shouldn't be that tough..