what would you think if an ex friend of yours....

[phasegirl]

ok, here's what happened. My best friend of 5 years and I broke up as friends. We basically haven't spoken for 5 months now.

 

We deleted each other from facebook, but because we've been close friends for so long, we have many mutual friends. Well, one of our mutual friends posted a status about how she had to return clothing to the store, but she lost the receipt. So I posted a brief comment about how that happened to me one day. Well, lo and behold my ex friend comments seconds later and starts talking about a situation she had.

 

Was my ex friend "fresh faced" by joining in the conversation right away?? She didn't even wait till a minute passed before she posted the comment. I hate to sound petty, but how would you guys take that? Does it mean that she wants to be friends again, or that she's just being passive aggressive?

[Wager]

Hello, Phasegirl. I am sorry that you and your best friend have broken up. It's such a miserable position to be in, and often misunderstood - if thought of at all, unlike when romantic partners part - which only serves to make it worse, I think. Why did you two stop being friends? Is there any hope of working things out?

 

As far as the post goes, given the timing of it, that it was not even a minute after your ex-friend posted in response - I would not be surprised if she did not realize you had posted, at all. You two were likely very similar, as best friends are, sharing many of the same thoughts and experiences. It is feasible that she responded just as you did, independent of that, entirely. If she posted so quickly, she probably did not even have time to read your own words - if they were even displayed, yet. My guess is that it is more coincidence than a message of any manner.

 

Either way, I hope it does not cause you any more or undue pain.

 

Best,

 

Wager

[phasegirl]

Hello, Phasegirl. I am sorry that you and your best friend have broken up. It's such a miserable position to be in, and often misunderstood - if thought of at all, unlike when romantic partners part - which only serves to make it worse, I think. Why did you two stop being friends? Is there any hope of working things out?

 

Hi Wager

We stopped being friends - long story short, because I thought she faked being sick when we were supposed to go out on one evening. The problem was that I found out she was somewhere else. Short story: I basically felt her pull away from the friendship and she didn't like me confronting her about it. The last straw was that day - when she said she was sick, I told her I saw her somewhere else and that I know she wasn't sick, so to please tell me why she's avoiding me.

 

Well that day, she immediately got angry with me and told me that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore - she dismissed me over the telephone. That's the gyst of it. And yes, I was very hurt by the way she dismissed me so easily.

 

 

As far as the post goes, given the timing of it, that it was not even a minute after your ex-friend posted in response - I would not be surprised if she did not realize you had posted, at all. You two were likely very similar, as best friends are, sharing many of the same thoughts and experiences. It is feasible that she responded just as you did, independent of that, entirely. If she posted so quickly, she probably did not even have time to read your own words - if they were even displayed, yet. My guess is that it is more coincidence than a message of any manner.

 

Either way, I hope it does not cause you any more or undue pain.

 

Best,

 

Wager

 

It's true, she may not have seen my post -but either way, lets say she did, what do you think it means? I don't comment on the posts she comments on because I don't want her to think I'm after her friendship - it's just a self confidence thing. Towards the end of our friendship, I felt that she really didn't want to be my friend, so for my own sake, I try to maintain my self esteem.

[Wager]

Aww, I'm so sorry, Phasegirl. What a dreadful way to be treated, and exceptionally so by such a close and long-term friend. I hope you find peace with this in your head and heart soon and thoroughly.

 

As far as what it means - say she did see it, I would guess (a wild guess, without knowing her or even her personality, of course, but just to offer an opinion by way of trying to help, here) she was might have been trying to get your attention. To what end is an entirely new can of worms to open kind of question - possibly just to needle you by making you wonder, perhaps simply to make you think of her. Unfortunately, I would not lean toward thinking it was a way to try to be friends again because I would think she would comment on your post and not make one entirely of her own, without even touching upon yours (i.e. "Just like , one day... etc, etc), as though you had not spoken.

 

Again, I am sorry for your pain and I hope that very soon you are able to put her entirely out of your head, and not be bothered one bit by instances like this. Best of luck to you.

 

Wager

 

(Also, this bears repeating as well - I could be totally off base and entirely wrong. It might serve you well to ask your mutual friend what she thinks, or someone who knows the two of you and can read the messages verbatim.)

[RedDress]

I don't think it was about you at all. She was just commenting on a friend's post... the fact that you commented first is irrelevant. Why should she avoid posts you've also commented on? THAT would be passive-aggressive.

 

I think she is just being 'normal' and that you are looking for more because you are hurting...

 

Sorry

[CorpseGrinder]

Um...what happens on facebook really means nothing I think.