I feel so guilty, but why should I?

[Jyebo]

HI everyone,

 

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 2.5 weeks ago, i was devastated (actually i still am). I cannot stop thinking about her and I have waves of depression coming over me still, especially at night and in the mornings.

 

My problem is, last saturday night i got drunk with my mates at a party, where i met a very nice girl.. She too had broken up with her boyfriend about 3 months ago, so we were talking about this for a while. Anyway after talking to her for about an hour my mates and I decided to go out clubbing, and the girl i was talking to asked to come with us (leaving her friends), so ofcourse i said she could.

 

Not long after we were out she started to kiss me, at first i pulled away, it was so weird because i have only kissed the one girl for the past 2.5 years. She asked me if i was alright, and i said i was, just feeling a little funny about things. Not long after we were both kissing on the dancefloor, which then moved to a lounge, where we were making out for hours.

 

When it was time to go home, my mates tried to get me to go home with her, but i couldn't.. i felt like this was way too early.. so i got her phone number and put her in a taxi.

 

Since then I have been depressed, feeling guilty and like i've somehow cheated on her. I still love my ex and still would do anything to get her back. I don't know what to do, one thing i know for sure is that my ex cannot find out about this or we'll have zero chance of reuniting.

 

Should i be feeling this way? is this part of moving on? Or have I really rushed this? Like i said its only been 2.5 weeks. I feel like i've let myself down and ruined all chances for getting back my ex.

 

Has anyone been in this situation or does anyone have any advice?

 

Jyebo

[wickedbusa]

Don't feel bad for what has happened. Your GF broke up with you, remember? So you are not cheating. Your life is moving on and you have to realize that your world no longer revolves around your ex. It's all about you now. I hhad been broken up for only three days when I met someone new and when the kiss came around, I had no regrets. Enjoy yourself and leave your past where it belongs. Just enjoy life, take a step back, and look at your relationship with your ex. Is it something that you think would have benefited you? Do you want to get back with her just to be with someone? Hopefully you will soon realize that you are able to make it without your ex and you will completely move on. You will meet someone new who will not make you feel depressed like your ex is doing to you at this moment. Focus on your happiness and everything will be ok.

[Jyebo]

Thanks Wickedbusa,

 

I know that i can get on with life, but i have had a lot of time to think about my ex, and realise that she is who i want to be with, not just for being with someone, not for how beautiful she is, i just love everything about her and about what we had. If i have to, then yes, i know i can get on with my life, but i would prefer her in it at this point in time.

 

i guess its all the little things in life and in your relationship that you take for granted when you have them, and when they're gone, you notice and it hurts. I have spoken to her once in 2 weeks and afraid she has gotten on with her life.

 

Jyebo

[sayer7]

I've heard of similar situations with guys who had just freshly been dumped. I'm sorry for your pain.

 

It's hard to get out of the train of thought of being a 'couple' with someone and having been in a committed relationship for so long it's no surprise you feel guilty about kissing someone other than the woman you used to.

 

It's part of moving on and healing. If it feels forced, don't do it again for a little while. If you try to force through the guilt and trying to get over a break-up it might only make things worse for you.

 

I think nature heals most wounds and you just have to go with the flow and your own natural pace. When you're ready I think you'll know. At some point it will click that you two won't be getting back together again (if the case may be) and you'll be able to move on into another committed relationship with minimal baggage. It might take months or even years... but try to believe it will someday happen and try not to force things to happen.

 

Hope this helps.....

[kate111]

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

 

You are ENTITLED to go out with other girls. Your girlfriend broke up with you. You owe her nothing.

 

If she finds out then it doesn't matter. There are no rules for what you can or can't do when you are single.

 

If I was you I would maintain no contact and take things slow with this other girl for awhile.

[rotty]

i comletely agree with kate man, i did the same thing, a couple of weeks after got with another chick, felt very strange but then i thought i owe no one nothing she called the shots she can live with them