I fail miserably at conversations & socializing

[griffith9]

I'm a guy, 19 years old..

I understand that it can only be solved by me.. but I've been trying.. and it's been years.. and it's killing me.

 

 

I guess it was just the way my personality always was..... but I'm trying to change it.

 

 

I'm not a rude guy though.. I try not to cross people.

I'm just too shy..

It's even more difficult when it comes to socializing with women

 

I think,imagine and write down the things I want/need to say.. I even do that..

 

For some reason, I'm used to formal things..(doing formal presentation in front of class,job interviews..etc)and don't feel very nervous about'em..

It's almost like I can speak properly when it's very clear what I have to say..

 

but.. well.. not really. I suck at socializing.

 

Often, words just won't come out of my mouth..(in the end I just tell myself to procrastinate)

 

 

(for example)say, girls at my high school.. I never get to talk to them. I do not know what to say.

 

it's like... I don't have anything to tell'em.. and they don't have anything to tell me..

 

 

There are times when I want/need to talk to strangers and maybe have a good conversation.

 

I can ask questions..(-_-where is the bus 45?) but conversation..? ah~ I can't even approach them..("by approaching" I mean.. what do I tell him/her to break the ice and get him/her to say something to me?)

 

The conversations I have with people usually are uneasy(both me and the person I'm talking to) and slow and (most of all)end abruptly....

 

I have been in environments where there are opportunities to socialize, but I only make acquaintances.. So I guess the real problem is just me.

I already pretty much gave up on the idea of dating.. I do want to get a date.. though.

 

I don't expect anything because I know where I'm at.....

All I want is I would like to be able approach people in a down-to-earth manner and just have a short pleasant conversation..

[RagingBull]

If you can do a formal presentation in front of a class then you should be able to handle a conversation. What you need are listening skills and practice.

 

You sound like a structured guy to me. Just go with the flow and let conversations take their natural path.

 

As far as ice breaking, the best thing way to approach someone is to notice something unique about them and ask a question about it. If a girl is walking a dog, I'd ask about her dog. After that discussion, I begin to ask her questions about herself.

 

I once asked a cashier once about a pendant she was wearing that I honestly have never seen before. She openned up to me really quickly by telling me how she got it and revealed where she was originally from. That gave me alot to talk about.

 

Throughout the conversation, she will start to reveal bits of information about herself. Remember these tidbits and return to them before the conversation abruptly dies. Remember to be fun and playful in your conversations. Humor goes a long way, especially with women.

 

Feel free to PM me.

[Kakster]

Yes! Humor is key! Which is hard for me too since i'm a pretty serious guy who some may call 'intense' ha!. The thing about people like us is that whatever we do say, people will pay attention to.

 

I know what you mean, your mind just goes blank. If you can ask questions than you're already half way there. People love to talk about themselves so ask questions about them. Once they start sharing personal experiences you're in!

 

Just ask any question, or just say hi. They might strike up a conversation with you. I find it good exercise to try to talk to the cashiers at stores cause they ask the first question; "hi, find everything alright?" Then you can say yes, or no, I couldn't find the (insirt item here). Most often they will try to help or make a comment about that product. Cashiers are most often chatty.

 

Good Luck.