love

[Rainmaker]

Hello,

I was just lookin to know something, i was on the phone to my girlfriend and she has mentioned about people saying that they love each other, i dont really say it to her. She was saying that her friend was going out with some boy and he told her that he loved him. They had only been going out with each other for a week, and my girlfrend thought that he was stupid, she thinks that he was telling her that he loved her to early and that it was silly because they had only been going out with each other for a week. I have been going out with my girlfriend for a few months now and i was just looking to know is she kinda hinting that i should tell her that i love her ?

[darklich14]

I think the key is telling her you love her if YOU love her. Don't tell her you love her because she wants you to. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to talk to her about it. Ask her if she truly feels like she loves you, and if you feel like you love her, then tell her you love her. Love's a very serious thing and you can get your heart broken if you fall into love and don't think of the future. If you're with her now and you don't see any reason in the future to break up with her, then falling in love may not be a bad idea. But if you have any thought in your head that you don't want to fall in love because you're going to cut off the relationship sometime in the future, then get out of the relationship. Save both of you the heartache of breaking love.

[paul475]

...I think you already know what she wants to hear.

 

If you knew what love felt like, you'd have given her what she wanted to hear.

 

But you have some confusion and that's okay. There could be other issues going on for you, too, that both attracted your girlfriend, but also give you feelings of numbness that make feeling things like, "love," very difficult, if not impossible.

 

So no matter what happens, don't let anyone make you feel guilty because you don't have access to the feelings others would like you to feel. Whether they choose to acknowledge it, or not, other people choose to be with you BECAUSE of who you are.

 

If you like the people you're attracting, then there's no action required on your part. If, however, there is a disconnect between what you say you want, and who shows up as a result, then there are things you can do to correct that situation.

 

Above all, relationships are gifts we give to ourselves. If a relationship isn't at least interesting for you, and hopefully fun, then it's not about giving yourself a gift.