Approaching Women While Dealing with Permanent & Uncontrollable Body Odor?

[Coverage]

Here is a rundown of my problem. I have a fairly rare skin disease that covers my body. It can temporarily be treated to a point where it’s not always immediately obvious I have a physical condition by just glancing, but being in close proximity of me or physical contact with my skin does come with issues that people aren’t used to dealing with and are uncomfortable with. The main cause that troubles me at this particular time is an uncontrollable, permanent body odor brought on by my skin condition. While it isn’t absolutely horrible, it is noticeable and has done a number on my self confidence and my ability to approach women and have any real chance at dating or a relationship.

 

I can assure you I take every reasonable step to keep the smell at bay. Daily showers, clean clothes, medication, deodorant, body spray. I have consulted medical professionals, and it’s just something that comes along with my particular skin disease, and nothing can be done about it.

 

I am currently in college, and I’m having a horrible time trying to build up the self confidence to approach women. I’ve never had any success with girls, and so I’m dealing with my confidence issues along with ‘first-time’ nerves and uncertainty. I’ve always been a quiet, introverted type of person which has resulted in me never having any close friendships with girls, and I’ve never had any deep, emotional conversations with my guy friends, so I’ve never had the luxury of peer support regarding my physical appearances. Outside of comments from my mother or other family members, I’ve never been complemented on my physical looks, never had any friendly physical contact with females (ex. Hugs, playful touching, etc), Although most people I deal with are nice and respectful towards me, I’ve obviously dealt with my fair share of negative remarks and questions.

“What’s wrong with your skin?”

 

“Why do you look weird?”

 

“Why do you smell so weird?”

 

Unfortunately, those are questions/comments I’ve received from many girls along with the girls who just get up and leave when I sit near them or make obvious efforts not to come within close proximity to me. This is obviously human nature, but it’s completely humiliating for me to deal with and think about.

 

These situations that I deal with sap me of any self-confidence that I am able to build up in myself. I’ve always heard that the first impression a guy makes on a girl is the most important one in her deciding if she might be interested in a particular guy or not. Obviously, with my appearances and embarrassing odor, I’m not capable of making that perfect first impression. What exactly am I supposed to do?

“Hey, my names ___, whats yours? Just so know I have a skin disease that causes me to look and smell this way. Just in case it makes you uncomfortable, I just wanted you to know that I can‘t help it……so….coffee later?”

 

Yeah….I haven’t tried that one, and I have serious doubts about its effectiveness. Might try it if I’m attempting to break a record of getting rejected in the quickest amount of time.

 

In all seriousness though, I’d like some advise on what I can do or say to not only give me the confidence to go up to women, but to make sure my initial physical shortcomings don’t immediately end my chances with any female I try to approach. My situation is a tough nut to crack I feel, and I’m not sure how much advice anyone would really be able to offer, but I’d appreciate anything. Thanks.

[mustard1234]

Kneejerk reaction:

Online dating is your best bet. I'm sure others will suggest the same. In your profile, you can show off your personality and put a neon light next to the caveat about what's going on physically. Total that only the virtual meet-market allows. (Click the link, it's good for your soul.) I'm pretty sure I've heard of sites in existence where people with various maladies meet up romantically.

 

You're a great and witty writer. Flex that GB Shaw muscle and pull some honeys!

 

...anyone have specific site recommendations for the OP?

 

Always remember that, for the most part, there seriously is a wonderful match out there for everyone. Go find her.

bon chance, friend. keep ya head up.

 

 

~R

[FlashEng1]

I sort of agree with Kneejerk...

 

One thing I would personally recommend also builds off what he has suggested.. Your personality... While I cannot recommend the steps necessary to actually gaining the attraction of friends (male and female), but I would say, to those you have even a slight connection/relationship with, to let your personality shine... While there are shallow people out there, there are also a lot of caring people (male and female) who would overlook that and actually be your friend.

[Coverage]

Thanks for the responses.

 

I've looked ever so slightly into the possibility of online dating, but I've always kind of pictured it as more of a last option kind of deal then something I'd actually use as a primary means of finding a potential partner. I suppose the biggest issue I'd have against it would be the inevitable distance that would be between us, (assuming I could even find a lower-mid 20's, single, compatible female who has my particular condition).

 

A long distance relationship isn't really what I'm looking for, but I know that if all else fails I might be left with no other choice. I'm at a point in my life where I feel it's critical to my social development that I have some serious face-to-face interaction with women my own age, and chatting with a someone behind a computer screen can only do so much for your social development.

 

One thing that I really crave is physical interaction with a female that truly likes being around me. I don't mean sexual interaction either. I desire hugs, closeness, and having that emotional attachment to someone that feels a similar attraction towards me.

 

Even if my chances of finding a girl on campus who could look past my physical flaws and find some sort of attraction towards me is not very likely, I'd still like to build myself up enough to give it a try before exploring other options.

[sweetpea03]

It's going to be a hit and miss no matter what. I've been instantly turned down before after people find out about my medical condition, but you don't want to be with those people anyways. You are looking to find someone who will love you no matter what, flaws and all. You can find that person, but just keep in mind that you will get turned down a lot. Try not to look at it negatively, but instead that it's a good way of "weeding" people out. They obviously can't handle it, so move on to meet the next woman. Yea, it's hard when people look past you for something you have no control over. I know that. But eventually you will find someone who loves you for who you are. Just don't get discouraged and keep talking to women you meet.

[hrtlsngl7]

Yuh,...what is this B.O. disease called?