Where is this going?

[jackflash]

I work with my girlfriend. We have both decided that we have a long term relationship, and have discussed marriage, a future. She is the ONE I have looked for all my life (been married previously as has she). She has a boy and I have 2 girls. We met at work and were both going thru a really rough marriage. We were basically best friends, and both felt a mutual attraction with each other. We have been seeing each other for roughly 9 months although we have both only been divorced for the last 5.

 

I have reached a stage where I hate being apart from her, and even visiting her and leaving or going home after a weekend away together is hurting me no end. Out children love both of us and everyone gets along so wonderfully. We dont sleep over while we have our children, but luckily have every second weekend "off" together with no kids.

 

Am I jumping the gun too quickly? Am I spending my time "dreaming" of this future together? She has indicated that she has never been "dated" before in the traditional sense, and really wants this to be different this time, but I dont know how to put these deep feelings aside. I so want to be with her and make this committment permanent, but at the same time just want her to be happy as well.

 

How do I know when we are both ready for the next step. I understand that this is a more complex relationship as there are children involved, and we dont always have the time to be together as a "normal" couple with no children would.

 

After dicussing this with her, she said I had been making her feel pressured, and that I should just enjoy the dating at present, and everything else will fall into place. I now feel that I cant talk to her about issues and am worried before I open my mouth in case I "pressure" her. I am afraid to initiate intimacy now as well.

 

Please give me some advice

[Scout]

How long have you been seeing her?

[jackflash]

We have been seeing each other seriously for about 6 months.

[Luciana]

That is rare.

 

My advice? it is a little too soon. Wait one whole year. Propose on the second year if that's what you want.

Good luck.

[jackflash]

Thanks Luciana.

In between these replies we have managed to have a chat. I think the fact that we have not had much time together, does tend to put insecurity into ones mind. After we had our chat I was told that I am loved more than life itself, and I feel the same.

 

I have committed to letting her and myself heal first and just enjoy each other right now. The other thing we have vowed to do is to talk and communicate no matter what. I want this realtionship to be one based on trust, respect and friendship first and I know the rest will fall into place.

 

As for wanting the committment thing - Well I have asked that we move from just dating to being serious and she agreed. So in a nutshell, I guess its baby steps all the way and start enjoying the moments.

 

Thanks for your reply.