when he loves you but wont confess it

[GymSweetie]

I told my BF I love him and he didn't reply. I also told him he knows he loves me too. Now we are barely speaking. How to make things right?

[goddess23]

telling him you loved him was not a mistake. but telling him you know he feels the same way was not a good way to go. i mean you should give him time, he may have been shocked, maybe hes never thought about it. i dont know about how long you two have been dating, and the circumstances surrounding this but you need to express your feelings but at the same time let him know that he has a say lol. i think you just took him by surprise and then trapped him in a sense.

 

now you need to talk to him. if you can wait and see if he'll approach you that would be best but that will probably kill you trying to play it cool in this situation. so the best thing would be to send him an email or letter where you can really think without interruptions about what you tell him. you should reassure that you do love him, and that you need to know how he feels so that you can know where you stand. that you need to be in relationship that is equal. this way you can find out if he really does love you and not just put the words in his mouth. i think he will come around, i think he just didn't know what to say when you said both things. so try not to stress too much, and try and really talk to him about how you're feeling. best of luck!

[OceanEyes]

Hey GymSweetie ...

 

Some people get very distant and don't know how to react when someone confesses strong feelings, especially if he/ she isn't ready to say it back. This doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you, but he obviously wasn't ready for that step in your relationship.

 

How long have you been dating your boyfriend, and if you don't mind me asking, how old are you guys?

[GymSweetie]

Thank you for your replies.

 

Hi, OceanEyes,

BF & I were intimate 5 mos ago & have been exclusive f/the past 5 mos, 5 mos isn't very long. We've been friends 4 yrs & started seeing each other as possible love interests 7 mos ago. A couple mos ago, I told him I love him as a friend.

 

During a moment of passion 2 wks ago I slipped & told him I love him. He didn't say it back so I said to him softly, "you know you love me". Even tho he didn't say it, he's shown it. I guess I wanted him to know that I know. After I said it tho, I wished I had just kept it all to myself.

 

B4 he went to sleep, he said he was sorry and then slept with his arm & leg draped over me all nite (um, i felt a little trapped myself-lol). This encounter was the best time we've ever spent together.

 

I don't have a problem that he can't express his love for me verbally, but it's seems awkward now, like we are starting from the beginning. I went into NC mode for a week after & then saw him twice very briefly. He didn't seem very happy to see me, so am thinking about staying away longer. Oh, he & I are both early 40 if that helps.

Your thoughts?