To Every NC Doubters / a MUST Read!!!!!

[brucethescot]

What a difference a day can make....24 little hours!

 

It was just last night that I posted my 2nd post. Please read that post first. link removed

 

Well guess what? My Ex just phoned me for the 1st time since we parted! But, but, but... to be sure, I was totally cool and calm. (I had been preparing myself for this every day for the last month).

 

Here's the scoop. She called me from work on a friend's cell phone. She is a waitress at a 5 star place and Saturday is their busiest night. (She certainly could have called me earlier today (or earlier this week) and not from work when she could be interrupted). Hmm.

 

The 1st thing she said is that she had 2 of my old watches and some pictures of my family that she thought I might want. Hmm. (I could care less about them...but I didn't tell her that).

 

Next she said she wanted to give me a report on "our" dogs, especially my special one. (She now has all 8 of them). Hmm.

 

Next she asked me about the dosage for the flea stuff. (I used to measure it for all of them so that was a legit question to ask me).

 

Next she told me she was working a 2nd job (and told me the name of the place).

 

The last thing she said was that maybe we could meet sometime next week so she could give me the stuff she had. Hmm. I simply acknowledged her without agreeing to a thing.

 

I was positive, upbeat and brief. She asked me how I was and I said I was fine. And that's where we left it. The ball still remains in her court. (She still never gave me her phone number).

 

So, here's what I'm thinking. I'd appreciate your collective wisdom and candor. Please.

 

If and when she calls next week about meeting her, I'm going to tell her that it'll have to wait because I'm on my way out of town for the next several days...maybe the Bahamas or Bermuda. (I want her to think my life is more important right now than meeting her). I'm going to suggest she try calling me the following week. (I'm not going to suggest I call her or even ask for her number). I'll also tell her I really don't "need" the stuff right now and it'll be safe with her). If I do that, then she's going to have to come up with another pretext to get together with me. Right? (She only lives 15 minutes from my home).

 

I want to be positive, yet indifferent. I want her to think that I am actually getting on with my life without her. I won't say a thing that would discourage her from calling me...but put her is a position where she's going to have to figure out another pretext to contact me.

 

Whew! That about covers it. Will be anxious to hear from y'all!

 

Thanks.

[gti337]

hrm sounds like a pretty soild plan. the only thing is, this type of condition, if you opt to go through with the "im going away" plan, is more like game playing. if you want to be honest, that isn't the best route to go. if she is being sincere and there is no animosity, perhaps you can wait a few days and see how everything developes. NC is good when one or both of the parties involved can not contain their emotions. however, if emotional stability is there, then you might as well do as much politicing as you can. it sounds like the two of you are on to something good.

 

point is, practice a little reservation now and dont jump the gun with NC. try to maintain your cool, be a little aloof and keep up the natural high type of attitude with her. kill her with kindness.

 

good luck

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

gti is right this does seem like game playing. I really don't know where I stand with playing games but I'll tell you this.

 

I told myself I was above playing games. When my ex found out I was hanging out with other girls I actually made sure to tell her that I wasn't having sex with them (I met so many girls down in Costa Rica). Now that was probably stupid. But I have NEVER tried to make her jealous or anything. I told myself that I'm above games and she is going to come back to me because I love her, not because I coaxed her back and used human psychology in my favor.

 

But that's for you to decide. We'll see if this ends up working for me in the end, because I didn't do the things that exs do. But at the same time some say you have to play games. I don't know, tough one.

 

But I advise you, if you do play games, GO ALL OUT! Only because I want to know what happens when someone plays games TO THE EXTREME!

 

good luck

[brucethescot]

I'm sorry if I gave the impression I would be playing games.

 

What I want to convey to my Ex is that I'm trying to get back on with life...such as a vacation to Bermuda...all the while appearing not too anxious to meet with her.

 

Maybe my words appeared stronger than I intended. Any other suggestions?

 

You all are wonderful and I really thank you.