MissSMcc Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 i feel okay about it, i think i might have to see him though because i have to be home at 3 and he might not be finished loading the van by then. the relationship is completley over, even if he wanted to reconcille i couldnt. im just worried about how i'll feel going into my house and seeing the empty spaces where his stuff was. we have no mutual friends and hes moving 300 miles away so there is absolutley no ties between us, which i know long term is good, but its still scary to think theres no reason to talk or see each other again. i feel so conflicted, first thinking im glad its over, then feeling scared, then thinking it doesnt matter anyway because he doesnt want me back and even if he did i would say no. ugh, why. i know i'll get through it, but its so hard. Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I think you should not go home at 3. Let him be done and gone before you return. Link to comment
fwdthinker Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Agree with forum guy. Why not make plans with a friend at that ime and don't go home until later. You could go to the bookstore or go see a movie or anything else but be there. Don't set yourself up to be hurt. Link to comment
kayleigh89 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Yes i think the best thing for you to do is ask him to give you a text when he's done just so its easier for both of you and i would recommend going back with a friend or relative that can keep your mind off it and it may be a good idea to be ready to move things around. Thats what i have done in my house after my partner moved out. unfortunately its not as clean a break with him as we have a daughter and he's moved to his mums so his stuff is still here but i've put alot of it out of sight so i dont have to look at it 24/7. Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 well, hes been and gone, but he left half his stuff here! i came round the corner at 3, saw him coming out of the house so i just went up to my daughters school to wait for her. saw the van go past a few minutes later so knew it was safe to go home, but hes left all his dvds, some guitar stuff, his bed and mattress, wardrobe, pc chair and a bunch of other stuff. the van was tiny so i think he musnt of been able to take everything. its annoying! if he wants to come back another day for the rest thats ok, but im not keeping his stuff forever, my house isnt some kind of free storage for him to pop in and out of whenever he wants. and i'll make sure its a day and time more suitable for me, im sick of everything being on his terms. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 What? Why didnt he get it all! surely there would have been room - sounds like he could just be playing games. UGH. I think its good youre not there. Be with a friend/your daughter/go shopping ( just don't be there. xxx Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 How are you doing? not very well, today will be hard i think. its his birthday today, im not going to get in touch with him though. Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 i emailed him last night to ask what was happening with the rest of his stuff, he said throw it all out. so my house isnt a storage unit, apparently its a dumping ground! today feels horrible. its his 29th birthday. hope someone bakes him a cake and he chokes on it. im trying so hard to stay positive, thinking its the first day of my new life, full of possibilities etc etc, but im just not feeling it. got nothing planned for today, maybe thats the problem. cant believe only 3 weeks ago i was planning our wedding! we had been engaged for a long time, i asked him if he still wanted to get married before i started plannning it, he looked me dead in the eyes and said he did want to. it was only about 4 days later he broke up with me. really need some help, dont feel like i can talk to my family though, i think its old news to them now. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think you should do something today. . Just anything that you love to keep your spirits up. And you can talk to us that's what we're here for. Your ex sounds like a delight - the way he's been acting is inconsiderate and selfish. Stay as positive as you can, remember you wouldn't feel any glimpses of positivirty without good reason to so hold on to that. Xxxxx Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 I think you should do something today. . Just anything that you love to keep your spirits up. And you can talk to us that's what we're here for. Your ex sounds like a delight - the way he's been acting is inconsiderate and selfish. Stay as positive as you can, remember you wouldn't feel any glimpses of positivirty without good reason to so hold on to that. Xxxxx thanks, it means alot to know there are people here to talk to, my mum is great but shes never had a break up (my dad is her childhood sweetheart, they've been together for 30 years) so she doesnt really know how it feels. my friends are also great but sometimes its easier to talk to people who have been through the same thing. today i am going to get my house back into a reasonable state, my ex left alot of stuff lying around, keep reading a book i just started and get some exercise. all good things, i refuse to mope around. yeah, hes probably the most selfish person i've ever known! he actually left a pair of boxers and a sock under the table! Link to comment
Aether Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I'm having trouble finding people to talk to, my mum is just givinig me "oh just forget him!" so I know I can't go there anymore, she's never been in this situation either I don't think, she left my dad when I was 12 so never had the same pain I have (although my dad is more understanding obviously, but I don't get to talk to him very often), she remarried years ago and has been happy ever since. It tough to hear things like that from peole that don't really know, I don't really have many friends local to me, just one really, she's quite good but married with kids and not been in my situation. I have online mutual friends, although he seems to have abandoned them all, and I just hate feeling like a burden to them, like it's all I ever talk about, one in particular is very very good, he was in the same situation this time last year. This is why I'm so desperate to see a counsellor really, I feel like I am dealing with far more than just a breakup here. I had to leave some of my stuff over there with him, I don't know what he's done with it, it wasn't a selfish move on my part but I couldn't fit anything else in my case, it's stuff that I won't miss, except my fave pair of PJ's. Link to comment
MissSMcc Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 aether i know what u mean about burdening ur friends, even my best friend says any time i need to talk shes there, and i know she means it but i still feel like im dropping everything on her. shes married and has a 6 month old baby so putting her on a downer at this point just feels wrong. u know u always have us though, sending u virtual shoulders to cry on Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 hey, hope you had an ok day in the end - im still at work - ugh! xxx Link to comment
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