Its going to be a year and...

[ev1782]

I love whom ive Become. I thank God first and foremost and secondly this situation has benefited me in MY personal growth more than anything ever before.

 

A breakup is just what the Doctor order for my life...Would i ever want to go through that pain again? no but if i could GO back and do it again and it meant i would turn out to be the person i am today,,, I would def go through the breakup again as much as it would suck.

 

New Job, New friends, New Resolve to grow in my Faith, New opportunities, New Adventures; and all this was just 2010... What seemed like a curse at first turned out to be a Blessing.

 

Basically what Im trying to tell you is that EVEN if you dont get your ex back there is still A LOT to be gained (which in my case includes plenty of NEW options!)

So hang in there and make the most out of your BU. Cant wait to see the NEW opportunities in 2011 God has in store.

[Jewels7]

Thank you so much for posting this! I hope it doesn't take me a long time to reach this point!

[BirdOnAWire]

Good job dude. Just goes to show everyone that with time and determination, you will be ok or better, you'll be great!

[Grace696]

Wow, thanks for posting this - it's just the inspiring message I needed to read today. When I clicked on the title of the post I did so thinking it was going to be "Its going to be a year... and I'm still crying every day" or something, and I was thinking oh god that'll be me after one year too, but no, it was instead a genuinely positive result that gives me hope.

 

Can you share some of the things that helped you to heal? Especially things that got you through the early tough times?

[JS1106]

It's been almost 6 months for me now and I do know what you are talking about. I am feeling better as time goes on. I still miss her and have my bad days, but they are fewer and farther between. I know that I am a great person and that it is her loss. I am getting something good out of this break up and I'm not sure exactly what it is yet but I can feel myself growing. I am going to take advantage of this situation and make myself an even better person. The hurt and anger are slowy fading and I am starting to let her go.

[ev1782]

Well the first couple of months were the hardest,,,, And this may be kind of embarrassing to say but the pain i felt from the heartbreak lasted longer than having a loved one Die on me. Like i lost my brother but i learned to COPE with it a lot faster being that I knew I was not going to see him in this life and it was out of my control and he didnt reject me... But with my ex it hurt knowing she REJECTED me. She didn't want me anymore. She was out there happy on her own possibly meeting new guys... Those thoughts would eat at my soul.

 

Point is that you REALLY have to be very PATIENT with yourself. Give yourself time to MOURN and GRIEVE and FEEL every emotion. I compare it to squeezing a wet sponge dry. Squeeze every emotion out. Cry alone,,, Cry in front of those who truly love you and have your back no matter what and who will let you vent and just listen. (I had my mom and a few of my Buddies to make me laugh lol) And most of all I prayed to God and that gave me peace in times when I thought peace wasn't possible. And in between that, I worked at my new job and kept myself as busy as possible. Since I was NOT going to sleep well for the next 2-3 months I figured I would spend my time keeping my mind busy and worked help along with joining a gym. Also involving myself in my hobbies helped.... Towards the end of the first period of my breakup I took a little trip to Florida to visit family and came back a bit refreshed.

 

Sometimes it helped to romanticize the situation and give myself hope that maybe she might comeback,,, At times i would ALLOW myself to feel that to ease the pain and give me hope. But as time passed those day dreams became fewer and farther in between. I looked at is as weening myself off of her. But if possible don't do that but if you want a PATCH like approach to getting over the addiction of your ex, that may helped...

 

But eventually you have to come to the realization they are not coming back and if they do its going to be cause you have moved on and are starting fresh. In anycase you have to move on and realize that just like you fell in love with him or her you can fall in love again.

 

So those are some of the ways ive coped with it in the very beggining. Then came stage 2...

[ev1782]

Ohh and to add on,,,, after a couple of weeks of a couple of calls and a few messages and letters written back and forth,, we completely BROKE all contact. As much as it seems impossible to do and possibly the wrong thing to do, It is actually the BEST thing to do. It will help your chances of getting them back but even better it will help you heal and get over them quicker to the point where it doesnt matter if they come back or not.

[ev1782]

And to add to my update up top: As far as the options go...My ex was a beautiful girl. A model looking type. A head turner and a very down to earth person too. Good morals and came from a great family whom think very highly of me like I do of them. To lose all that was crushing. Thought I could never get over the fact that I lost such a girl whose seemingly beautiful inside and out. Well I dont have anything against my ex... I have forgiven her and moved on.

 

Now ive met a couple girls who are VERY beautiful and awesome people in their own way. Specifically one girl is such a sweet naturally beautiful caring compassionate, mature girl. I didn't think i could find someone that could compare to my ex... Well as soon as that feeling went away I met this new girl and in hindsight Im actually glad that I met her and things didn't work out with my ex lol

 

And the great thing is with the lessons learned and the growth Ive made, this girl will get to see the BEST version of me to date... Lucky Her and Lucky me cause again she is HAWT and Awesome. lol

[Calblee]

nice. keep writing these updates!