Help

[i_hate_the_world47]

I was just wondering.If an older friend of yours.Alot older like 5 or 6 years.If he has sex with you but you dont want him to but you didnt stop him b/c he said he would hurt you very bad is that rape.Some1 plz help me i need to know

 

Meagan

[tailen]

hey that is rape and you should talk to someone if you didnt want it then yes it is and yes people care just make sure you talk to some one Okay

[kantore]

this is a very serious allegation, and should be taken very seriously. Go tell someone who you trust. Also please remember that wat happened was not your fault. Just be sure tat you tell someone right now!

[i_hate_the_world47]

tell someone r u nutz i dont want to tell ne one.i just needed to kno.If i tell someone then he will hurt me-bad

[lady00]

You have to tell an adult that you trust. What he did was wrong and you need to tell someone so that they will protect you from him. If you tell an adult whom you trust then they won't let this guy hurt you. Either that or report this to the police. This is very serious and you need to tell someone right away!

[avman]

He cannot hurt you if he is in prison. And thats exactly where he will be going.

 

1. Its rape which is wrong at any age.

 

2. Its sexual abuse because you are so young. That adds even more to the charges and guarantees him a nice long prison sentence.

 

PLEASE tell an adult that you trust. Or write me privately and I will help you get assistance with this.

 

Its never ok for someone to do what he did. Don't let him get away with it, and don't let him do it to someone else.

[kdreger]

Meagan,

 

Do yourself a favor and tell someone you can trust. Tell the person your fears and tell them only on the condition that your safety is taken into consideration. If you don't:

 

1) Chances are he'll do it again

2) You will never be at peace knowing he got away with it

3) There's a chance by telling that you can stop him from doing it to someone else.

 

This is a big deal. I'm sorry it happened.

[Mun]

Hi there,

You do need to tell someone about this. He has to be stopped or he will do it to other girls too. He only has as much power over you as you give him. Him telling you he will hurt you is his power. You must take that power back. Abusers usually make threats to keep you quiet because they know what they are doing is wrong.

 

Get help and report him. He can't hurt you if he is behind bars.

[ComputerGuy]

tell someone r u nutz i dont want to tell ne one.i just needed to kno.If i tell someone then he will hurt me-bad

 

OMG, please tell someone, what he did is very wrong, and if you see a rape counsellor, he will never know you told anyone. If you go to the police, by the time he knows you've told, he will be in custody and unable to do anything.

 

Yu need to do something about it. Not only for yourself, but if he has done this once, he could, and may have already, do it again to someone else.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this happened, no-one deserves this.

[eliot88]

first of all- yes, that is rape- and even though you didn't say a thing to him it is not your fault.

 

however, it isn't as easy as 'tell an adult' and he'll go to prison. the fact of the matter is that a rape trial is no small thing to go through and sometimes women don't want to put themselves through it. if after taking care of your immediate needs you decide that you want to report there are lots of folks who can help you do that. girl, you should not have to feel like you have to bear the weight of keeping this guy from hurting other young women- what you need to do now is take care of yourself. what are you doing to take care of yourself? talking to friends can be really helpful- there are local crisis centers in your area that can hold everything you say confidentially (they won't tell anyone anything... you don't even have to tell them your name) and you can just talk to them about how you're feeling.

 

sometimes writing, working out, yelling, singing... can help. if you feel like it keep in touch and let me know what you're doing to help yourself feel better. it takes a strong woman to get through this and the fact that you're posting here asking for advice shows admirable strenth, my dear.

[cujo]

First of all, yes that is rape. I know you are scared, but you need to tell someone. If you don't it could happen again in which case he will break you down into nothing. I don't know what you are going through and i won't pretend to, but please tell somebody that you know can help. If you can't talk openly about it write everything down and let a trusting person read it or take it to the police. if this man raped you he could hurt others, so please do something, not only for yourself but for them.

[i_hate_the_world47]

I understand that i should turn him in.But its not that easy.I dont want to turn him in b/c then i wil have to relive it all in front of alot of people.I have friends that i could tlk to but if i tell them thy will tell some1 for my own good.Thx everyone for ur help but i think its best if i just pretend it never happened.

 

Meagan

[Amethyst]

Meagan, take it from someone who has BEEN THERE -- there is no pretending it never happened! You have been brutally violated and it WILL affect you. You'll stop trusting people (especially men), have nightmares, flashbacks, feel "dirty", etc.. This isn't going to just go away. He HURT you -- he RAPED you! You have to make yourself accept that and make yourself deal with it. You need some REAL (professional) counseling and are going to need a LOT of help to get through this.

 

I know you are ashamed. I know you don't want anyone to know. I know you're scared to death that he'll hurt or even kill you if you tell. I know you're afraid no one will love you once they find out. I know you think it's your fault. I know you're afraid everyone else will think it's your fault. I KNOW because I was molested as a child and have since been raped. I KNOW how you feel.

 

But, I ALSO KNOW that you MUST tell. It is NOT your fault. That man is SICK! If you keep quiet, not only does he get away with hurting you, but he's also able to continue hurting others. Chances are, you are NOT the first one he's hurt; and, I'm sure, you will NOT be the last!

 

I know it's difficult. Believe me, I do. But you can't live this way, either. He is STILL raping you in that he STILL controls your actions. As long as you keep this bottled inside, you allow him to have power over you. It's time for you to put your foot down and take control of your own life again. Yes, it's scary, but it really needs to be done. PLEASE, tell your parents. Or, if you can't tell them, tell a teacher, school counselor, or some other adult you trust. (I ended up telling a family friend first...I had to work up to letting my parents know what had happened.)

 

I know it's the last thing you want to hear; but, for your own sake, please tell someone and get some help. You are NOT alone -- 1 in 4 women are raped by the age of 18. There are LOTS of us out there, and there are probably support groups that meet in your area. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE seek help.