Gawd please tell me it gets better!!

[teenresearch]

Wow this sounds pretty bad. May be you should see a family counselor? It would be difficult to stay together if he does not want to but you also should let him know about all your feelings of confusion.

 

By the way are you Russian?

[ReneinDC]

I had to go away for 2 months school. He was so upset and lonely, started going out more and drinking a lot. Once he got drunk so much that he had sex with a friend of a friend or something. He says he did not realize it, his friend showed him a picture later?! Now he says he does not have the same feelings for me, scared to see me, wants to move on with his life. I do not think I can forgive him, but there is so much love and good memories left. We had problems, but I had 100% trust in him…

Thank you for your answer, Renein. I understand everything with my head that it is better just to stop now, but my heart loves him, it just hurts so much...

 

I'm so truly sorry Sveta I know how hard this is on you.. you still love him but he's committed an intense crime of the heart and right now you are being pulled in so many directions emotionally.. If I were you.. I would def do NC and perhaps try counseling. If you want to stay with him I would make counseling a condition but either way counseling could help YOU heal which is most important. You make yourself the priority!

[sveta]

thank you girls for your advice.

Teenresearch, my parents are from the Ukraine.

I do plan to do councelling, but as my purpose would me to heal and get over it myself first of all, because I am not sure I want to try for both of us and pull it through, unless he is serious and honest about his feelings. Tha worst for me is to have such a blow, such a disillusionment about peoples relationship. What are all the words worth?

[Mun]

Sveta, if he says he wants to move on in his life, then maybe the cheating was a consequence of another problem and not the cause. He says his feelings for you have changed--maybe you should let him go.

 

He already cheated and if he says he does not feel the same for you anymore don't you think he will keep cheating if you try to hold on to him and he does not love you?

 

Be strong girl. Love yourself and take care of yourself

[fantasia2004]

Gawd, as this title post suggests I literally hope for all of us it does get better

[ReneinDC]

I could shoot myself in the fingers for this! I was missing talking to him and like a dummy sent an email asking if he wanted to meet for coffee in the future. He hasn't responded yet and now I'm panicked that he'll ignore it... which is interesting because he's been contacting me.. I'd give anything to get that email back! I've been doing good ignoring him but I caved

[vetgirl]

We all slip up from time to time. No big deal in my opinion. Don't worry about taking back the email. Don't even think about it. if he responds, then you worry. For now, keep doing what you're doing. It dosn't mean you're weak, it only means you're human. And maybe, if he does want to meet up, you'll just have to be too busy to do so!

[ReneinDC]

thank you so much vetgirl! He did respond and he said yes.. now what I'll have to do is cancel next week when the time comes. Interesting revelation though.. I dont think I miss him as much as I miss the "routine" we had together: the talking everyday 3 or 4 times a day.. meeting at starbucks every other day or going to dinner.. I actually think I miss that stuff more than him.

[Celadon]

Rene, I know what you mean. I've been thinking about my ex and it's not even who he was that I miss (he was a pretty mixed bag). It was the things we did together I enjoyed -- seeing a movie or making dinner together. With another person, there's more excitement -- sometimes.

 

It's also that feeling of having someone, or feeling someone wants my company, that I miss. But, I can also just come home and flop on the bed and read, or watch TV and not worry if I should be spending time with him. That's a nice thing...

 

Anyway, I hope it all goes well with you when you cancel next week.