Who are sensitiive men generally attracted to?

[Amusing]

I am inlove with a sweet, kind, very reserved, sensitive man and he has feelings for me too (yay!!). What I find strange is that I am a strong, independent, assertive, self-confident person - he is none of the afore-mentioned and it baffles me that we are so intensely attracted to each other (that's not to mention our different races, our first languages are different and so are our faiths

 

I know the "opposites attract" thing, but are sensitive, non-assertive guys generally attracted to strong women? He is not the first that I have encountered...

[sidehop]

Of course! I would be and probably goes the same for females to male as well. Having positive qualities are always attractive, not just the physical aspect.

[NANsense]

IMO ppl are often attracted to others who model those dear to them....and quite often this is their parent, of the opposite sex.....females find men, who have the personality/temperment of their fathers and males--their mothers....this is not ALWAYS the case--but often is...

 

Reason being that, as we grow up, and learn how to get the attention, from the opposite sex parent, that we seek--we learn how to associate/deal with that personality type....how to get approval, praise, his/her love....how to fulfill our ego needs...later, when we are seeking a partner, it's esier for a woman, to find a man like her father was--cos she already knows how to relate to a man like that, right?

 

Was his mother, or was there a woman, who was a primary caregiver to him growing up--like you: strong, assertive, confident, etc.?

[generaldiscord]

In my experience, shy guys aren't necessarily attracted to assertive women, but they are generally unattractive to pushy or overly dramatic personalities.

[Things]

wrong thread

[Things]

wrong thread

[Amusing]

IMO ppl are often attracted to others who model those dear to them....and quite often this is their parent, of the opposite sex.....females find men, who have the personality/temperment of their fathers and males--their mothers....this is not ALWAYS the case--but often is...

 

Reason being that, as we grow up, and learn how to get the attention, from the opposite sex parent, that we seek--we learn how to associate/deal with that personality type....how to get approval, praise, his/her love....how to fulfill our ego needs...later, when we are seeking a partner, it's esier for a woman, to find a man like her father was--cos she already knows how to relate to a man like that, right?

 

Was his mother, or was there a woman, who was a primary caregiver to him growing up--like you: strong, assertive, confident, etc.?

 

I have no idea what his mom (she raised him) is like, no idea! I know he is very close to her (almost mama's boy-like) and his dad, so I can't really comment on that.

What I can say though, after reading your reply, is that he has a similar personality to my dad - my dad is definitely not assertive, lacks confidence - gosh, I hope the similarities stop there! Horrible to say this, but my mom didn't have the easiest time with my dad.

[swampyankee]

Although I have taken on leadership roles in business, I am a quiet, sensitive type at heart.

 

I was married for 30 years to a woman who almost demanded me to be in a leadership (more like figurehead) role in our family, and in some respects held me totally responsible for her support, well-being and happiness. This was a major reason for the failure of our marriage.

Since then I have been with an independent woman with a strong personality. I much enjoy the change for we share the responsibilities of life as partners and I am relieved of the strain of leadership. And I find that she challenges me to be more outgoing and fun rather than withdraw and be quiet as I tend to do.

 

Personally, I think it takes a strong, confident man to love a strong, independent woman, allow her to flourish, and not feel threatened by her.

[itsallgrand]

^ That sounds lovely. I love hearing stories of marriages like that.

 

Especially as a single woman who has encountered in dating quite a few instances now of men either subtly or openly letting me know they want to be in a leadership position within a relationship/family, and that they think I am not willing enough to be in that 'follower' position. Well the exact wordings have been different, but it's come up more than once. And it got me to questioning myself just a wee bit; because I do think there is such a thing as going too far with being a 'strong' woman in terms of personality and wanting to take the lead. There is the side that can turn to pushiness, bossiness, or aggressiveness or simply not respecting the iput of a partner either. And I thought about it; is that me? No, it isn't. I just want an equal sort of partnership; neither person in a clear leadership position/role absolutely, no 'head' of the family, but two people each sharing different roles as we chose to divide them. I can comfortably allow a man to be the leader in some situations/roles, but I like that role myself in some aspects of a relationship. It is important to me.

 

I am often attracted to sensitive, laid back type of men (in general). But I don't think that means they automatically don't have confidence - that is a different element, not dependent on sensitivity or lack of it! Bc I have been in a serious relationship with a very boisterous and outgoing person who loved to be in the lead but actually had very low self confidence. My point is; a healthy person has confidence. And a healthy person can be the sweetheart type or a boisterious type or whatever....not inter related necessarily.

[dog stevens]

I'm a sensitive non-assertive type. I don't know if there's a particular personality type that I'm attracted to, but the last few girls I've been attracted to have been extremely organized and self sufficient. I should forewarn you that some of us sensitive non-assertive guys can be really bad about handling rejection. I'm still not over rejections from ten years ago. So if you reject him or dump him at some point later on, be advised that he might go psycho about it.

[Amusing]

I'm a sensitive non-assertive type. I don't know if there's a particular personality type that I'm attracted to, but the last few girls I've been attracted to have been extremely organized and self sufficient. I should forewarn you that some of us sensitive non-assertive guys can be really bad about handling rejection. I'm still not over rejections from ten years ago. So if you reject him or dump him at some point later on, be advised that he might go psycho about it.

 

Just a question, how did you go about asking out the women you were interested in if you had/have a bad time handling rejection or the possibility thereof? And also, how long did it take you to get to the point of actually asking her?

[NANsense]

What I can say though, after reading your reply, is that he has a similar personality to my dad - my dad is definitely not assertive, lacks confidence - gosh, I hope the similarities stop there! Horrible to say this, but my mom didn't have the easiest time with my dad.

 

Interesting comparison--and I hear you on your concern--but IMO their marriage shouldn't/wouldn't serve as a warning sign--as much as your rlshp with your father, how you related to him, understood him, what your rlshp with him was like...

 

If you understood, respected, and had a loving rlshp with your dad--it would be easier for you to have a good rlshp with a man like him--does that make sense?

[dog stevens]

I just asked them out normally. It wasn't like I stared in their window at 3am or whatever. I asked them to lunch or to hang out or whatever. And I've asked out girls who I've known for quite awhile as well as girls I just barely met, it goes on all ends of the spectrum. I should also mention that I've had some girls do some pretty bad stuff to me aside from the rejection. For instance, I've had multiple girls purposefully make out with other guys right in front of me after I expressed interest.

 

One thing I don't handle well is when they just randomly stop responding to messages. If they aren't interested then that's fine, I don't mind, but I like for them to tell me they're not interested instead of just ignoring me. While a no still stings, ignoring me stings even more.

[LightbulbSun]

We like respectful, kind, gentle, feminine girls who are proud of themselves and respect themselves.

[bostonbruins44]

I am inlove with a sweet, kind, very reserved, sensitive man and he has feelings for me too (yay!!). What I find strange is that I am a strong, independent, assertive, self-confident person - he is none of the afore-mentioned and it baffles me that we are so intensely attracted to each other (that's not to mention our different races, our first languages are different and so are our faiths

 

I know the "opposites attract" thing, but are sensitive, non-assertive guys generally attracted to strong women? He is not the first that I have encountered...

Not necessarily.Shy/sensitive guys like everyone else can be attracted to a lot of different personality types ,however I often see shy /reserved men with outgoing women and you can pretty much assume that the assertive woman was the initiator that a shy man often needs to get the relationship going .

[Amusing]

Interesting comparison--and I hear you on your concern--but IMO their marriage shouldn't/wouldn't serve as a warning sign--as much as your rlshp with your father, how you related to him, understood him, what your rlshp with him was like...

 

If you understood, respected, and had a loving rlshp with your dad--it would be easier for you to have a good rlshp with a man like him--does that make sense?

 

Hmm, I sorta understand, but there are deep-seated issues that have affected so many areas of his life and therefore their marriage - he became a doormat for almost everyone and never really expressed how he felt.

My mom on the other hand is a very strong personality, much like mine, but I can easily admit my faults and am not overpowering and not stubborn the way she is

[NANsense]

Hmm, I sorta understand, but there are deep-seated issues that have affected so many areas of his life and therefore their marriage - he became a doormat for almost everyone and never really expressed how he felt.

My mom on the other hand is a very strong personality, much like mine, but I can easily admit my faults and am not overpowering and not stubborn the way she is

 

Right, so you would never be the way she was towards your dad--to a man like him--cos you (I would guess) did not like watching her behave that way towards the man you adored, loved, and respected...

 

They were your window to the world, what is right/wrong and the developement of your values/morals/strengths

 

You have your mothers strength--yet your fathers compassion (it seems)...so you can admire a man like him--without taking advantage of his passive nature.

 

It usually all goes back to our childhood....lets say, for instance--your father treated you poorly--you may have developed in such a way that you detested non-assertive men, saw them as weak and put them down--or "over-power" them--like your mother does.

[FreakAndUnique]

I am a sensitive male - I would definitely prefer a sensitive female. This is because I wouldn't have to explain my thoughts and actions all the time.

 

Sensitivity is not necessarily linked to assertiveness ....

[shy2cool]

I am inlove with a sweet, kind, very reserved, sensitive man and he has feelings for me too (yay!!). What I find strange is that I am a strong, independent, assertive, self-confident person - he is none of the afore-mentioned and it baffles me that we are so intensely attracted to each other (that's not to mention our different races, our first languages are different and so are our faiths

 

I know the "opposites attract" thing, but are sensitive, non-assertive guys generally attracted to strong women? He is not the first that I have encountered...

 

Where can I find women like you???? Seriously! I want to meet somebody like you.

[Amusing]

Where can I find women like you???? Seriously! I want to meet somebody like you.

 

Aw, that's so sweet

[makayla]

My boyfriend is super sensitive and not so assertive when it comes to women, and I am tough, independent and not very sensitive haha..

 

But we are tremendously attracted to each other and get along so well.