Not sure if a chick likes me

[Steve12]

Hi all, basically I have been hanging out with a female friend quite alot in the past few months and I can't tell at all whether she just wants to keep it that way. I know she is the sort of person who prefers guys taking things forward though so she doesn't show it much, but I dunno how to approach it as I don't know what shes thinking. But I think there may be a something, conversation is always flowing etc.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated cheers!

[savignon]

Only one way to find out......ask her!

[Steve12]

Only one way to find out......ask her!

 

If only it was that easy!!

[easyguy]

If only it was that easy!!

 

Those who risk the most, gain the most.

[Steve12]

Those who risk the most, gain the most.

 

But should I wait longer to see if she reveals anything else? Or just go for it?

[supadoc]

But should I wait longer to see if she reveals anything else? Or just go for it?

 

No. The only sure way to find out is to ask her out. All other "sign reading" are pretty much rubbish. Been there, done that.

[Steve12]

No. The only sure way to find out is to ask her out. All other "sign reading" are pretty much rubbish. Been there, done that.

 

Yea I noticed alot of stuff is rubbish! Any ideas on good ways to word it?

[oldenoughtoknow]

It would be really hard to give you exact words, as we don't know your age or the verbiage style you normally use when you're together, etc. I've always found a good way for the words to flow is to use your surroundings, choose a context, or in other words, find a segue. Do you ever flirt with her at all? That's a good way to test her interest. If she responds well, then you should already have things setup to "pop" the question. Walking up to someone cold and asking them out is the hardest way to go about it.

[ny guy]

What if she happens to meet a really great guy in that time that you're trying to figure her out? There's a good chance that if you feel this way about her now, you may regret not saying anything.

 

Do you think of her as a good friend or best friend territory?

[supadoc]

you mentioned that you two are friends, so it wouldn't be a "cold approach". you also mentioned that you KNOW that she prefers guys that take things forward, so she'd be ready for being asked out.

 

I don't think you need anything fancy. Maybe just something like "do you want to grab some coffee sometime?". If she responds positively, then make a definite arrangement (time, date, place) right there with her. Be decisive, don't ask her where/when she wants to go. Follow up on that with a phone call or text on the day.

 

If she responds negatively... well it hurts in the short term, but trust me it's for the better in the long run.

 

Good luck

[Brigadoon]

OP - I read some really great advice from someone on here a while back, (I can't remember who; sorry! But I have a feeling that it may be someone who posted above lol) and I have to say it really works for me.

I know how nervous you are about just going for it so I would suggest you do what I now do when I'm trying to gauge how someone feels.

Speaking as a woman when we like someone we don't tend to say it for fear of rejection, we get embarrassed and hide it and sometimes a great opportunity comes up in conversation and we miss a chance to move things forward and end up kicking ourselves.

One thing that we absolutely cannot hide though is our body language.

We all have a personal space and that zone extends approximately 18 inches around us. We let people we are emotionally close or attracted to much closer than that.

Just think about the meaning of the word "attraction", it means to attract, to bring closer.

If you invade the personal space of someone who is not either close to you emotionally or has some kind of attraction for you then they will quite unconsciously move away to maintain their personal space. My advice to you is to repeatedly move into this girls personal space (do it gradually and not just the once and then give up if she moves lol) and see how she reacts; if you get to the point where she's quite comfortable standing so close to you that your arms are touching or sitting with her leg against yours then I would say you definitely have something to go on if you choose to.

I spent years trying to figure this stuff out by dropping hints, analysing every thing they said etc and I was still none the wiser; I started doing this a while back and I know pretty much straight away.

Good luck and I hope this helps

[capilot]

But should I wait longer to see if she reveals anything else? Or just go for it?

 

You've waited far too long already, IMHO. Right about now, she's posting to some other forum saying "It's been months and he hasn't made a move. Is he gay? Is he just not into me? Maybe I should just give up and marry Charlie from accounting."

[imsuperman]

If you don't already have her number, get it. Call her and ask her to do something. If you don't, someone else will. Take it from someone who knows.

[bostonbruins44]

Hi all, basically I have been hanging out with a female friend quite alot in the past few months and I can't tell at all whether she just wants to keep it that way. I know she is the sort of person who prefers guys taking things forward though so she doesn't show it much, but I dunno how to approach it as I don't know what shes thinking. But I think there may be a something, conversation is always flowing etc.

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated cheers!

You have not provided enough information to accurately guage whether or not she has any interest.Details ..