advice please...am I doing the right thing??

[SKT]

Hey everybody,

I am new to this site, but it looks good so I thought that maybe you guys could give me some advice. My boyfriend broke up with me just over 5 months ago. We dated for 2 years. He said we were "too different" and decided to up and leave. I was devastated. I know that there were a lot of outside influences in regard to his decision.

 

Anyway, he lived in another city about 4-5 hours away from me, but his family lives here where I live. He was in his city to work, but it wasn't a job where he would excel at all. When we were together we talked about getting married and being with one another always.

 

Anyway, after he broke up with me, (about 2 months later) I decided to try the no contact rule. We had been periodically keeping in touch because I had some of his stuff and he had some of mine, yada yada. And to me I think it worked. I told him I couldn't keep worrying about what went wrong with us and I was ready to put it all behind me, and move on because I knew that I had a great future in store for me.

 

Well, about 3 months after I sent him that letter I saw him in my city. He contacted me via e-mail and said he wanted to work things out so we could be civil in public. I made him wait a few days and I e-mailed him back, saying "ok". I really wanted to resolve this because when he dumped me he wouldn't talk to me, and he seemed very cold.

 

He wouldn't exactly give me a proper reason as to why he decided what he did. When we were in a relationship there were some things that bothered me...and he knew that. I wanted him to move to my city and get a better career, because the one he had was not sufficient for the life he wanted. He was really terrible with his money and refused to save any of it. Yes, so now, I saw him recently on July 1st. I just looked at him and didn't say anything. That's when he e-mailed me.

 

We got together and talked. He was very repectful and polite. He actually listened to me and we had a lot of fun. He apologized for everything saying that I was a good girlfriend, and that he was an idiot. He also said that he missed me so much after we broke up (I thought he didn't because of the way he acted towards me).

 

Also when we broke up he said that I didn't really know if I loved him (which was a lie! I would've died for him), and he didn't know if he loved me. But when we got together he apologized for that because he said he truly did love me. I guess I believe him....

 

He has now moved to my city, is being responsible with his money and is getting a career change. He is doing everything I wanted him to do when we were together (which frustrates me a little). Anyway, we are friends now, I told him I forgave him, but I can tell that he kind of wants me back.

 

I guess I do too, but I'm afraid that he'll hurt me again. I know that he broke my heart once already (and it took me FOREVER to get over it), and I am afraid he'll do it again. I feel good about being friends at the moment, I'm really happy he is getting his life together, and in a way I want him back, but I think if we do get back together, I'll have a problem trusting him, because he hurt me SO BAD. Well, thanks everybody for listening, your advice would be greatly appreciated.

SKT[/i]

[Duderanomi]

I feel good about being friends at the moment

 

You answered your own question.