Another Thing About Breaking Up (the Girls Idea)....

[fasthackm]

if I may.... How can a woman/gal so easily shove the love/emotion/caring/feeling/passion for you off to one corner of her mind so quickly, so coldly, so blatantley. How can they do that so easily!!? Take my ex, within a wk she told me that I USED to be her best friend, she USED to love me only a couple of wks ago mind you!! What is that!, all you girlys out there?! Your playing with our emotions, and we don't like it!

[miss bear]

if I may.... How can a woman/gal so easily shove the love/emotion/caring/feeling/passion for you off to one corner of her mind so quickly, so coldly, so blatantley. How can they do that so easily!!? Take my ex, within a wk she told me that I USED to be her best friend, she USED to love me only a couple of wks ago mind you!! What is that!, all you girlys out there?! Your playing with our emotions, and we don't like it!

 

I hate to burst your bubble but this has nothing to do with gender.

My ex (a guy) was with me for a year, told me he loved me everyday, we had fun together, didn't really argue a lot. The day he broke up with me he made me breakfast in bed before he went to work said he wished he could stay home with me all day, texted me all day, was making plans for the weekend.....Then that night he called me and told me he wasn't in love with me anymore.... did not speak to me for a week after he did that, gave all my stuff that was at his house to my friend.

When he did speak to me he said nothing would not look at me, and only kept saying I am not in love with you.

I could tell you all the other stuff but that would take way to long. I have it posted.

 

I just think people, male and female, are basically selfish,especially during break ups, which is why it feels like their toying with our emotions.

It all stinks, anyway you look at it.

[Brownstone322]

I suspect you're a lot younger than I, but it probably doesn't make a whit of difference. In early 2009, my girlfriend moved out of our house, and since then it's as if our relationship (many years) never happened and never existed, as if we've never met. Don't ask me how that's possible, but not only are some people cruel and heartless, but it's more than I ever realized. Cruise around here, and you'll see lots of stories from people's whose exes (male and female) cut them out of their lives without a shred of compassion or concern. Strange but true.

 

If there's a lesson, it's this: Don't ever behave that way yourself.

[johnm3]

yup, my ex and me were on great terms up until she ended it... in fact, the month before the breakup was the strongest ever... but my ex is 18, so shes veryyy emotionally immature... she still claims she loves me and really wants to remain friends, but i don't want to put myself through that, better to learn to focus on yourself... it feels great to achieve knowing that she is missing out on a would-be fantastic life together.

 

NC seems to be awesome for several reasons:

1. it communicates to yourself and to her that you are independent and fully capable to handle life without her

2. it makes her wonder if she made the right decision

3. it gives you ample time to focus on yourself and heal

 

my ex risked losing someone who has treated her better than anyone ever has as well as her best friend for some random kid looking to get in her pants... embarrassing story for her to tell. but at the same time it helps me cope because I don't want to be associated with someone who makes such poor decisions

[iBroken]

No need to gender bash.

 

This is a dumpers behavior - not a girls behavior.

[fasthackm]

You said it John. I'm 39, Jennifer is 34, but has the emotional maturity of a teenager (if that). Like I stated before, her childhood was spent watching her mother chase men, having sex with different men in and out of the house, her parents were d/v'd. Jen said that she lost her virginity at 13! which is young. She said that she never learned to express her feelings because her father didn't like that and no one was there to confide in, so she learned only to use her gorgeous looks and body to attract men. Well, all of you know when you act like a tramp without anything of quality to offer a lover, then heartbreak ridge is just beyond the next marker. You may get courted by every guy within a 1000 mile radius (when you look like Jennifer does), but what happens when she takes her pick and the guy has his way with her, finds out that she is emotionally destitute, her persona resembles a plain white wall inside a house.... It's exactly what has happened to her all her life! She's been picked up, used sexually (even raped once), then dumped. The cycle starts again, AND SHE doesn't do anything to change!! I was the only guy to confront her with the question.... "Jennifer, what do you bring to the table in a relationship, what do you have to offer a man?" and also "Jennifer, I am trying to draw out the persona that still might be locked up inside of you" Just like every other girl that grows cold in a rship, she paid it no mind (well, that's what i think anyways) What about girls? When we present you with a real authentic and critical piece of criticism about your personality or the way you are coming accross, do you have the maturity to take it and examine it or just get mad and go off half cocked (ooops)? As for me, whenever she would tell me something that I was doing that was hurting or bothering her, I wanted to know about it so I could change it. One time she told me I was getting fat, well I admit since my pictures don't show that I'm fat (and my body fat index in avg for my age) It turned into a small argument, but I caught myself in time and remembered that I had told her It turned me on when she wore more makeup and it turned me on when she dressed a certain way. I've learned you have to be careful with statements like those cuz girls , whoaa!!, can twist the actual intentions all around and hear something completely different.

[johnm3]

damn, sorry you were subjected to that...

 

scary story about my ex: when she was 13, she was intimate with a 21 year old , although she claims she's a virgin, I don't know if I can believe that. she also used to go on webcam with random guys on the net and basically be an e- * * * * * ... I don't mean to demean her (i know she did these things because she felt no love/attention/affection from anyone and needed any type of confidence she could salvage), but I should have taken these facts as signs of what would happen in the future.

 

I gave her an over-abundance of confidence/attention/affection/care/love and why she seemingly wants to throw it all away will forever confuse me... It's only been a week of NC but before this, the longest we haven't talked is less than a day, so I hope she's using this time as an opportunity to realize what's really important in life.

 

when I find someone who treats me right and reciprocates my generosity I'll be thanking her for doing this

[fasthackm]

That's just it, I've come to the disappointing conclusion that no girl (especially the ones that have pride tucked away inside their pants pocket and don't admit they do) wants to hear how they are coming accross to the one they love, of all people!! As for me, you had better tell me how I'm acting I wanna know that information! Jennifer was just so insecure, even tho she seemed so sweet,pure, couldn't hurt bambi, her heart can freeze faster than my AC. That's another thing, she was keeping a mental resentment/hurtful comments card on me when we would say things that hurt, oh please doesn't matter that we are human and imperfect! I told her many times, that she would constantly bring up negative events and never ever say anything about the happy times we had, which were many more! Emotionally detached and for that she's gonna fail, get used, maybe get hurt physically again in future rships...... As for me, I'm not jumping rite back onto the scene and land in another rship like she's doing, I'm gonna heal/recover, then look at my options.

[Bobbadoo]

My ex is like this. We talked to each other EVERY SINGLE DAY since we were together and the days that we don't talk we get all rowdy and mad. After the break up, she doesn't want to talk anymore and it feels as if she wants nothing to do with me maybe because I was replaced with someone else. I have never, ever thought my ex was this type of person that would do this cause I seriously thought she was a more caring person then she showed during the break up. She admits she missed talking to me everyday since she doesn't do it with her new bf but thats about it.

 

I'm sure when things go bad with her new bf its going to hit her like a truck because she left basically the most caring and loving guy she has ever met.

[doiiiieeezie]

I can tell you that as a female who has done it (because I did not love him) and who has received the same treatment in return... it's not gender specific. This is a dumper mentality. I can tell you one thing: Hate is not an emotion you want associated to your record after. It will eat at you. Be a better person and treat others with respect, including your ex.

[johnm3]

Be a better person and treat others with respect, including your ex.

 

I agree. If nothing changes between now and christmas I'm planning on getting her a present -- not so much for her, but for me, to show that I'm bigger than her. hatred is poison.

[yrag]

with me we were together for 6 years.i noticed she threw out a package of deer meat and said why. ok follow me at the start it was -i love you gary-15 minutes later no joke -she says i'm done. cold and no emotions. not gender-but just dumpers in general behave this way.

[fasthackm]

Something happened to Jennifer during those years we weren't together. She was raped, she was dumped more than a few times, she was used sexually, she acted like a tramp (even getting that blasted 'tramp stamp tattoo' above her ass crack which really upset me , she got into a marriage with a man 15 yrs her senior!!, she had definitely lost it by then and was just desperate to get married. She has that 12 y.o. boy that acts alot like his father, a little criminal-in-the-making, already he has rage outbursts in school. I suppose since she has her son to look after she thinks she deserves only the very best which she stated to me during our 2nd rship. She deserves the best, she wants the best, and she'll never settle for next best ever again, is what she implied. Also when her ex-husband first married her he was making six figures, and she was loving that but as soon as he went into the poor house she was ready to call it quits. That's the biggest turn off I realised about her, she wants to quit and run to the next guy if she's not happy in her rship. I told her I wasn't the type to just lie down and let her walk all over me, never have been, never will be, but I will treat her like a queen and I deserve to be treated as her King. Real great concept, but we both failed miserably in action