Some advice please

[bapbapbap]

I need some advice because I am so confused and I dont have anyone to talk to about this. I have been with my boyfriend Ben for years, and we are so happy. Like every couple we have are ups and downs but we always come through it together. One thing that we have had up against us from the start was his relationship with his friends. His best friend in particular never wanted us to work out, he tried his best to infulence the way my boyfriend treated me (he tried his best to get ben to be verbally abusive to me.. threaten me etc but ben never listened) he hated that Ben was happy and I just felt he was a horrible person... so much has happened through the years with him that I have just decided that I am no longer going to try with him so I dont talk to him and ben understands this. They dont spend much time together (due to this friend only contacting him when he is looking something) but Ben has birthday parties every year where all his friends come. Every year the same thing happens, Ben always ignores me when he is with his friends (this happens anytime he is with them but it annoys me most on his birthdays because that day is all about him which i think should involve me his long term girlfriend). It makes me feel so used, like I am invisible to him and that i shouldnt be there. All his friends have their girlfriends with them hugging them kissing etc and there I am sitting on my own I hate it. Last year I was left stuck on my own the hole night and I told him how furious I was after it, he said that it was his birthday and he couldnt be with me the whole night, but i knew this and I didnt expect that I just expected him to at least acknowledge that his girlfriend was there too. After this I felt like he only uses me until he has his friends and then I can be ditched, it hurt me so much that he done this to me, when I mentioned it he said I ruined his whole party but I said I just wanted to feel like I was a part of it too. He said he realsied he had ignored me a little and said it wouldnt happen again. His birthday was last weekend, we all went for a days paintballing i was dreading it because i was so afraid he would do the same thing to me again, which is exactly what happened. I didnt want to say to him this year because of how he reacted last year but i was so hurt because after the whole day of ignoring me, he went the 2 hour journey home in the car with his friends and he just packed me off home with his brother and girlfriend. Why does he keep doing this to me,

does he not want me when he has them? or why does he always choose his friends over me like that? I dont want him to think im jealous because im not I just hate that he spends everyday with me but then can competley blank me like this and then expect me to be waiting for him when he needs me again. I am so upset because i feel like im not good enough for him, I have no one to talk to about this and i want to know do you think this is normal for him to do this or am i over reacting? I dont know what to do, i want to spend the rest of my life with him but now i feel like im only here as a back up plan... i feel so confused and hurt

 

thanks in advance for listening to be blabbering on lol

[timetogrow]

I was in the same situation as yours where my ex was acting exactly like your boyfriend. Whenever she was with her friends, she would never think of calling me. When she was alone, or waiting for her friend's car to pick her up she would sms me. It is her way to kill time.

 

Have you ever talked to him over this? I don't think relationship will work when it becomes one-sided.

[bapbapbap]

yea i mentioned it to him, but he thinks i try to ruin his birthdays and that i am trying to stop him spending time with his friends. he doesnt see how much it hurts me, i would never want anyone to be in this position

[amazing eyes]

oh :S i totally understand you....i am in the same situation..it hurts me like hell...but what to do :S

[bapbapbap]

what should i do..should i bring it up again to him?