I have no contact with any members of my family. What would happen if I died?

[renegade43]

All of my family members have either died or made the decision to stop speaking to me. Some friends were wondering if I was to die or be medically incapacitated, who would speak for me? The thought of just being "disposed of" if something were to happen, without anyone even having the chance to know where I was scares me. Is there some sort of power of attorney?

[FarthestEdge]

Yes, Consult an attorney and choose someone you trust to care about you. Let them know so that they are aware of their responsibility and give them the opportunity to decline. It is a big responsibility to thrust upon a friend, so be sure they are willing to do it.

 

Otherwise, depending on where you live, the decisions could be made by your closest relative or the state. The state generally does not perform this service for free, so you will find your estate charged for it, and often charged exorbitantly.

 

Either way, a relative you don't trust to care about you, or a state official who will charge you for the privelege of treating you like a statistic....not good.

 

You really want to appoint someone. Have a will made while you are at it, so your assets don't go to the nearest despised relative. Remember your friend who is willing to be your appointed POA as well. Seems the decent thing to do.

 

Wills and POA's don't cost as much as you think....worth the peace of mind

[renegade43]

I am 27, and people have told me that wills and POA's are mainly for elderly people. What sort of person should I choose? I dont know that I could burden my friends with this responsibility, and since most of my family is disconnected from me, I'm afraid that a friend could down the road. Its all a very emotionally draining concept....

[renegade43]

Is it true that any family or POA, etc, could be held liable for any medical expenses or outstanding debt that I have?

[FarthestEdge]

I am 27, and people have told me that wills and POA's are mainly for elderly people. What sort of person should I choose? I dont know that I could burden my friends with this responsibility, and since most of my family is disconnected from me, I'm afraid that a friend could down the road. Its all a very emotionally draining concept....

 

Then you are listening to some very optimistic people. Anyone can have an accident and be incapacitated or die. If you are not married, then your estate, or any decisions pertaining to your welfare if capacitated would most likely go to your nearest blood relative. If that's not something you are comfortable with, then you want to have something in place.

 

The truth is, likely nothing WILL happen, but still. Do you not have any close friends? Are there NO relatives you trust to do what's in your best interests?

 

At a minimum, you want to record what you would want done with your remains should you die.

 

Do you have bank accounts and/or retirement savings? Somewhere you've likely been asked to identify a next of kin- at work, on a lease document, a bank account...if that exist somewhere, that person would be contacted.

[FarthestEdge]

Is it true that any family or POA, etc, could be held liable for any medical expenses or outstanding debt that I have?

 

Depends on the laws where you live....which is why you want to consult an attorney...

 

You can always leave it to chance. That's an option too. Many decide they don't really care because 'they'll be dead anyway" but if it matters to you, it's up to you to plan for it.

[renegade43]

Thanks. Do I have to contact a lawyer to make any of these "wishes" valid? Is there a lower-cost alternative?

[FarthestEdge]

Thanks. Do I have to contact a lawyer to make any of these "wishes" valid? Is there a lower-cost alternative?

 

I don't know the estate laws in CA. Check your yellow pages. Some lawyers offer free 1 hr consultations or phone consults to determine if you need a lawyer. Sometimes a 'do it yourself' kit will do. Check your gov't websites for information....

 

The laws vary from state-to-state, and I live in a different country than you. So I wouldn't want you taking my beliefs as legal fact.

[renegade43]

Not so much legal facts I need, but legal direction. Thank you

[renegade43]

When you say "estate" what do you mean exactly? I have no ownership of a home or anything of significant value, nor do I have any savings to speak of in the event I was to need this assistance...almost better to just let the state take me LOL

[shes2smart]

I cut off contact with my family a little over 10 years ago and, at the time, I was not married. I was in my mid-30s.

 

I went to a lawyer and got a will, a power of attorney & health care power of attorney for a couple hundred dollars. Subsequent lawyers have charged less when I've done updates to these documents. The peace of mind they give you is worth it.

 

Before I met and married my husband, the person I had down as "in charge" if I couldn't be was actually my ex-college boyfriend with another long-time friend as a back-up. After I got married, I had things changed so it would be my husband.

 

This is something that you really hope you won't have to use anytime soon, but if you do need it, you'll be greatful you had these documents and had them done right.

 

Go see a lawyer. Ask about fees. Shop around. Since you are single, no children, not a lot of "stuff" it should be relatively simple to set up. The only reason my first set cost as much as it did was I hired a lawyer with a high hourly rate.