help

[marcs]

I feel so down its scaring me, its been 1 month since the BU to the day no contact since. She was my everything and I blew it. she was a clinger and I was the avoider. I dont know how I am going to get through this. We had the same taste in absolutely everything food, fashion and music it was unbelievable. She was my soul mate and I totally blew it. I became co-dependant on her and lost contact with most of my friends. She said that I didnt show enough affection and I was indecisive, I had alot going on with work and neglected the relationship. She is with someone else who is almost quite opposite to me. My one true passion and what makes me happy in life is music. I have quite an eclectic taste. I cant listen to music anymore it just tears me apart. We went to alot of music festivals\concerts and I feel like I wont be able to do that anymore. Its killing me. I am an introvert and she is extroverted. The new guy is an extrovert. Ive tried to connect to old friends but its obvious that weve grown apart. I miss her so so so much. More than anything I miss her as my best friend. I know deep down that I will never find someone like her again. I am so devistated im really scared for my future wellbeing.

[ImGrowing]

Just accept that fact that you're going to feel like this for a while... But, continue to work on letting go. You have to.

[StairBear]

I know how that feels man, but the only thing I can really recommend is either trying to reconnect with old friends/make some new ones. It is always rough when you end a long term relationship, because you tend to associate almost all aspects of your life with that person, so you find yourself being reminded of them by the smallest, silliest things. I know this also sounds a little callous but in my opinion you should never forsake friends for a relationship, it just isn't a good practice because you can end up in this situation where all you have to do after you break up is free time to yourself to think about it.

 

I was in the same position for a while and it took me a while to make friends and reconnect with the ones I had lost. Although, honestly if she ended the relationship based on you having to work more for legitimate reasons, it doesn't speak much to her ability to be understanding. I don't want to say you are better off without her, because I don't know you or her, or the kind of relationship that you had, but it sounds vaguely like she is just happy to be with anyone. For the time being I would suggest doing things you haven't done before, listen to different musicians, watch movies you haven't watched before, and if you really feel the need to, block everything that reminds you of her (overtly).

 

It may sound a little callous (again), but this is a good lesson about relationships, both friendships and intimate ones. It is never a good idea to forsake good friends for lovers, but I'm sure with a little prodding your friends will be what they've always been, your friends

[smurfy1988]

its tough... love and pain go hand in hand, dealing with it is hard but sooner or later you will have to go through it; its a part of life..you live, learn, and apply your new earned knowledge to the next relationship so that you will not make the same mistake. "Life will always knock you down, its your choice to get back up" focus on yourself right now, go to the gym, go on a long walk!

[AceGirl]

Well I don't need to type my story in the thread bcos I did that exact same thing as you marcs. I neglected my man and all he wanted to do is spend time with me and now he is gone, he broke it up and moved to his family 9hrs drive away, I only have one good mate left in this town and shes always too busy with work and looking after her pets so she has not gone out with me yet I'm stuck too, I love my ex he did such nice things for me and I got to into my work while we were together and blew it!

[marcs]

thanks for the replies everyone. I know I shouldnt forsake friends for a relationship. I was never that sort of person till i met her. I also realised that they wernt true friends. But I know its my fault. She even said that was one of the factors - ouch. I went down a different path, one that I was more happy with. Now its if I look back at the road and theres a cliff. Im really stuck. I feel so lost. Like I dont know who I am anymore. Its gonna take alot of time. Ive been through two breakups before but nothing like this. Ive had alot of bad luck with relationships in general. I know im not a bad person, infact maybe to good to people if theres such a thing. Ive really hit rock bottom. Just watched fight club. Made me feel a little better. Highly recommend it for anyone who hates the world right now.

"Its not until youv'e lost everything that your free to do anything"