I'm just not coping!!! Just need to share please.

[linda1984]

I am at my wits end, I don't know how to get through this. I am just so heartbroken! How do I get through this!! I can't get him out of my head. I have never felt so down, everything felt so right, where did I go wrong? I just don't know how I'm going to get over him.

[SapphireNoir10]

You can cope. From what I've read you had a very turbulent relationship with a guy who treated the relationship more like a game in some ways the whole 'I miss you when your not around, but not when your there' or whatever he said.

 

Remember that you CAN Do better, that you can find a healthy, happy 50/50 equal relationship where it wont be a struggle.

 

Keep busy, get your hair done, go shopping, watch your favourite series, go out for a meal...do stuff that makes YOU Feel good, and stay no contact.

 

Stay strong, I know how you feel, and it does get better.

[linda1984]

I can't seem to get myself to remove him from my facebook. I'm scared if I do then I'll lose every chance of getting him back....I sit around waiting for his calls all the time.

[LarsWB]

Linda I really feel for ya....and I know how it feels myself. It hurts and it seems like there's no way to stop it. I'm telling you though. out of sight out of mind REALLY does start to help...a little bit, here and there....but it does. You won't have any more of a chance (or not) by taking him off your FB, believe me. That act itself will not make a difference in the decision he made, but it will do this: It'll make him wonder why you did it, curious, and might actually even make him start to miss you. Try it a while, see what happens. I wish you the best - you're beautiful and like the rest of us, don't deserve to sit around heartbroken all the time. Keep posting.

[linda1984]

But if I blocked him on facebook I'll be scared that I just might add him again, and that would be even more degrading. But I'm going to try, I'm just really tired of hurting. And he did the same thing to me twice...I mean how cruel can you get. I gave my heart to him twice and he just shattered it.

[OneEskimO]

I mean how cruel can you get. I gave my heart to him twice and he just shattered it.

 

You ask how cruel can you get and realize he was cruel, yet you're afraid to remove him completely from your life because you worry you may loose the chance to get him back. Why would you want to give someone so "cruel" another chance? The pattern will not change. You get him back in your life again you will just be back at this position in only a matter of time.

 

Let him go. Remove him from facebook. If you don't trust yourself enough to remove him and not add him back again then take a step away from facebook all together. Stop sitting around waiting for his calls. Go out and enjoy your life, do things you always wanted to do or never thought of trying but stop the waiting and start living.

 

Have you thought about trying to seek out someone to talk to in person? On a one-on-one basis to try and figure out what is preventing you from moving past someone who has hurt you so much?

[linda1984]

Well I dont know what it is about this guy, I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm 26, I have had my fair share of relationships.

[SapphireNoir10]

It doesnt sound like love to me. It sounds what is born of an unhealthy relationship, you are obsessed/infatuated with him, the more he pulls aways or leaves, the more you want him, hes like an additcition and you NEED to go cold turkey.

 

Cut him out of your life, if he really wants to get back in it, he will let you know.

[linda1984]

Ok, I think you're right, I'm going to remove him from everything now before I do anything more stupid!! Thanx for the advise you guys!!

[SapphireNoir10]

Do it, stay strong.

 

I literally got a friend to change my facebook password for me for ages, and got my mum to hide my phone onetime to stop me from saying/sending anything stupid.

[LarsWB]

But if I blocked him on facebook I'll be scared that I just might add him again, and that would be even more degrading. But I'm going to try, I'm just really tired of hurting. And he did the same thing to me twice...I mean how cruel can you get. I gave my heart to him twice and he just shattered it.

 

Linda it took me MONTHS to make the decision after my wife left. It took me months to stop texting her and being friendly and chatting by email. I realized that she wouldn't miss me....TRULY miss me, unless I was gone completely. If she doesn't ever miss me, then there's nothing I can do about it...but each day, tiny little bits, that I'm out of contact with her....well, even something THIS painful is getting a little easier. Some days I don't feel like it is, but some days I do...and those days are increasing in numbers. Believe me, there are days when it KILLS me and I want to reach out SOOOOO bad, but I've learned that it does nothing but cuts my heart again. Keep this in mind; he can't possibly miss you as long as you're there...even as a FB friend. Go completely COLD on him. It gives you back your dignity, your power...and I would almost bet sooner or later he's going to miss you.

Good luck

[linda1984]

OK its done!!! I've deleted him off my facebook, deleted his e-mail address and telephone number. Its like I feel better already.

[SapphireNoir10]

Good, now you have to stick to it, if your feeling particularly low, like you wanna speak to him or re add him, go out, distract yourself, call a friend, keep your mind off him as much as possible.

 

I literally deleted every possible reminder incase of setbacks.

 

Good luck, stay strong

[linda1984]

Thanx, it took a lot to do it so I'm not going to mess it up. Now I can go on!!

[LarsWB]

Awesome! You'll have up and down moments, but the downs lessen and the ups increase...with time. Tell yourself just how strong you really are....prove that to yourself and everyone else. Be strong, don't let him hurt you anymore by not replying to you IF you contacted him again. It stings, I know.

DO NOT give him the satisfaction of YOU contacting HIM! Keep your power, keep your dignity. Wish you the best.

[SapphireNoir10]

All I kept remembering was. 'I need to keep my dignity' It really works, when you feel like calling or texting remember that he'll get satisfaction from it and you'll jsut feel miserable if he DOES reply and its not what you want to hear, or if he doesnt reply, its worse

[linda1984]

If I think back now about the things that I've done, its shameful, but I suppose we all do it at some stage, but I'm so over it now!! To new beginnings.....

[SapphireNoir10]

Oh dont worry, I've had that initial panic reaction, the whole 'please take me back' thing , but eVERYONE does, were only human afterall, but you can get your dignity back now.

[rgvsouth]

linda it takes a lot of courage to delete him from ur FB.....but its best if u do. I did it as soon as he told me he no longer wanted to be with me. I deleted any accounts we had together and i had to email him only like twice so i could get some skool books/items. my emails to him were brief,,,i didnt insult him or say something horrible. I did all this for me ,,,,but inside im crushed wishing i could run to his arms.

[sunday2010]

hey, all the best I'm months out nearly and somedays are tougher than others .It just depends what day it is.stay strong we can do this

[smplunkett]

thanks for all the wisdom - I know it logically, my heart just hurts right now