Im miserable, should I try to win back my ex? if so HOW?

[Megastahr]

Hi again guys, I know I already got the right advice in other posting (what to do, i need help dealing with EX-girlfriend) and everyone said no dont be with her....but its so hard being with out her, because when we are together we were happy Thats why i dont understand how she can just blow me off and be with other guys so easily...2 and a half years, and we had problems but we loved each other. But now when I go to a club i cant even dance because I look around at the guys that are mean mugging the girls and trying to take them home...I think shes probablly having that done to her....and it affects everything, my work, my social life....Like the other day she lost her phone so I gave her my old one, got her a charger, and had it all activated. And she acted like she missed me and was gonna slow down, but she didnt not at all. Whenever she needs anything im there, but after I help her shes back to being rude to me. I just need to know if theres a certain way I should act to get her back or if its hopeless....I miss her so much, and she seems "in to" talking to me and hanging out with me except when shes with her friends she wont even answer her phone. Its like no matter how nice I am she just keeps partying hardcore and being with guys. She told me on the phone yesteray she loved me and still wanted to be with me, but just later because we fought to much. I said fine we can just be friends as long as she doesnt spend the night at a party with guys there anymore...and that same night she spent the night in a place with tons of guys there and she was all bared out....What am I suppose to do if I cant get her back, and I cant look at any other girl the same way....The biggest thing for me is I could give her all the space she needed if she wasnt geting bared out and passing out with dirty guys that would probablly pounce on her the first chance they got...if they already havent...: (...I really didnt think it would be this bad. And i dont think telling me to just move on will help...cause i cant. I think about her all the time...I know its pathetic but Ive never been in love before and I dont think that I will again.....Anyway, the point of this rambling mess is what do I do to get over her or what do I do to get her back...

[charmed]

Megastahr,

 

I'm not sure why you re-posted !!

What do you want to hear? This??:

 

Talk to her, she'll stop going to the parties, and everything will get back to normal soon?

 

Everything you say below suggests that she is using you. For the phone, for whatever, but she doesn't have your feelings at heart. If she did, she would be a little more perceptive to you.

 

How long are you willing to wait around for this girl??

You say that this girl is an ex-girlfriend. Why are you still hanging around with her, and why are you trying to get her to stop going to parties?? She is your ex girl, and you can't be giving her hassle for doing what she wants to do - whether you believe it's good or bad. That is the truth of the situation. She will bleed you dry for everything you have if you give it to her. Hang around like a lost puppy, and you will see this continue to happen.

 

Get away from this girl asap, of you will destroy yourself thinking about what she is doing. Make sure that you hear nothing about her in the future. You don't want any updates or any information about what she is at. If you break this, you will find yourself agonising over the smallest little things that she has done. Meanwhile, while you are destroying yourself, she is off living life, and has certainly forgetton about you.

 

Don't be played. It's difficult to let go, but are you willing to sit there and feel like this for teh foreseeable future???

 

I doubt it..

 

~

[Megastahr]

Wow, at first I was like dang thats just a flat out cruel post...........but I know your right, and maybe I needed to hear it like that...I guess my biggest problem is I do look for updates and continue to know everything she does and it kills me...I guess...when its over its over...Lookin at the way you talked to me, I dont want to be that kind of person. A lost puppy, pathetic, its not me...I honestly dont know If I can get over her...but something I got from your post and will do is not know whats shes doing and just live instead of sulking the day away. -thanks for taking your time to knock sense into me......

[charmed]

Hey Megastahr,

 

LOL !

I used to be a moderator here - and I was renouned for my straight up tell it like it is attitude !!

 

I was hoping you wouldn't be to upset by it, but you are right - it's exactly what you needed to hear.

 

You're more than welcome for the post, and if you need more - feel free to contact me pm.

 

No contact, and no information. You need space to breath, and refocus. Contact and information are the enemy !!

 

Best of luck mate,

 

~

[martyj]

please keep away from this girl and find someone who knows your worth

 

Trust me i feel the same you do about my ex but long term who do you think will be happier?

 

You as you have genuine love and feeling inside of you, give it to someone who will reciprocate this love to you

 

MartyJ 8)

[Megastahr]

Seriously this message board has helped me keep my sanity...you guys are great and should get paid...lol. I just hope i can find something or someone to help me keep my mind off her.....anyways, thanks guys

[charmed]

Hey Megastahr,

 

Glad you are thinking a bit more rationally now.

 

Something = good.

Someone = potentially tragic !!

 

Try to be sure that you are able to stand on your own two feet and be happy and proud that you can do that. You need to get to grips with what is going on at the moment and heading straight into another relationship just to fill the hole that she has left in your life may lead to a distorted feeling of recovery.

Not trying to ruin your buzz or anything, but just want you to be conscious that this may happen. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being single - in fact, I'm single for the past two years and I'm loving it. Be sure that you are comfortable on your own and happy. Girls will sense that - and thats one of the things that is more attractive than anything else - someone who totally has their stuff together and knows who they are and what they want.

 

Time now for reflection for you. Get past this, and find some way of developing your hobby or dreams. You will have plenty of energy to put into it - so go and do it

 

The first step is the acceptance of the way it is, the second step is taking advantage of that knowledge.

 

Take care megastahr,

 

~

[TrueHeart]

I agree... does sound like she wants her cake and eat it too. Thats too bad since you seem like such a nice guy. She does sound confused, and probably still does love you.. but won't quit her partying. Just sounds like she has her priorities all messed up.. Here is a saying that should help you have her determine what she really wants... and you too:

 

How can you miss someone, if they don't go away....

[lady00]

The title of your post struck me...you're miserable and you want to know if you should try to get your ex back. No. You need to wait until you have collected yourself and are not so miserable before you decide whether you really want to get back. Being miserable is not a good reason to go after someone...it won't even work because people are attracted to happy positive people not miserable people. just my two cents.