Girlfriend too busy for me all of the sudden.

[Sam _]

Ever since she started working three weeks ago, we haven't seen each other but once. She would rather go to her house to relax than to mine, even though she has told me that she is even more relaxed with me. The one time we saw each other was after her first day at work and I gave her a foot massage since she had been on her feet all day. Then we just cuddled up and watched a movie.

 

We both live at our parents house. Her family doesn't do anything around the house, leaves everything for her to do and if she doesn't do it or puts it off then they all will yell at her for being "lazy and inconsiderate". Even if she gets their permission to go out with me rather than clean for once. She tells me that its either she does it or it won't get done. Also that she wouldn't be able to pay me much if any attention. She knows I don't care because I have helped her clean and I don't mind it because I manage to have fun with her no matter what we are doing. She also isn't anywhere near as flirtatious as she used to be. Doesn't even say "Good night" anymore, just reads and then "passes out" on the bed.

 

It is frustrating because I am a full-time student in college, assistant manager at a retail store, have to clean my house and everything, and even volunteer. Yet I still found time to hang out with her two or three times a week before she got the job. Yet she basically says she is too tired to make an effort (my words, not hers). And yes, I also still get 8 hours of sleep and all my college assignments finished on-time if not before. So why isn't she able to do the same when she has less on her plate than I do and am willing to help her with it?

 

I was wondering what exactly should I do here? I know she loves me and I love her, this is really the only problem we've ever had in our entire 2-year relationship. She hasn't had a job since she was 17 due to the crap job economy in our town.

[cazmoore]

stress can do funny things to people. Don't compare your situation to hers and expect her to do what you want because you feel you work harder. People get burned out and the last thing they need is their SO to get on to them..

 

She's getting it from her family, and the last person she needs it from is you. I get you're frustrated, but give her a break. People constantly nagging you all the time wears you down and breaks your spirit.

[Sam _]

I've not really mentioned it to her, just said multiple times that if she wants or needs me that I am here. Closest I came to mentioning it was that I said we hardly see each other and to let me know when she wanted me to come on over or something and started flirting. Any advice as to how we can get it so that we can actually spend time alone together? Or do we just wait it out until we get enough money for our own apartment?

[Ms Darcy]

While I agree that you should not really compare your situation to hers, I do think you should talk to her about how you feel. It's really important to frame it positively. That you love her. That it's important for your relationship's health to spend time together. That you are willing to dedicate some time together just cleaning up her home. That you want to go on dates again (that always increases romance and flirting). Tell her you miss having her as a close gf and that you'd like some ideas from her on how to improve that.

 

Good luck!