I just entered a LDR.... and I don't like it :(

[Shadeburn]

Howdy, people. I guess I should start with the basics.

 

My name is Jake. I live in New Hampshire and am going to be a senior in high school next year, so I'm pretty young. 17 and a half. Yeah, tell me about it.

 

Anyway, here is a little background info on my relationship:

 

Nine months and twelve days ago I asked my girlfriend, Jenn, out. I had seen her at school before and such, and would indulge in daydreaming about her constantly. She used to spy on me walking around as well, constantly asking others, "Hey! Who's that tall guy with the long hair and trench coat over there?" So there was mutual interest before we even knew each others name. Then one day I was sitting in the cafeteria and I got a note from her. It said hi, my name is Jenn, you seem cool, lets chill or something. You dig. Well, we hung out at the park that night and it was fun. The next night we hung out and looked up at the stars and it was magic. I had fallen in love.

The rest is history, so they say.

 

Anyway, she was actually already in a crumbling relationship. Over-protective, paranoid, verbally abusive boyfriend. She broke it off with him.

There's a catch: she thought she might be pregnant with his child.

A few months later, she finds she is pregnant with his child. However, our relationship still holds very strong.

 

A few more months she has the baby, and I am there for every second of labor and delivery. Our relationship still holds strong. She keeps the baby for the time being, a boy, whom she names after her brother. He will be taking the child when she moves.

 

Uh, wait. She's moving now?

 

Yes. That was the next obstacle. For months I was horrified of her moving, simply because we have such a great connection. Not just on a romantic level, either. It's like we're best friends. We can laugh and joke about stuff together, including laughing at ourselves. It's great.

 

But just a few days ago the day finally came. She moved to North Carolina. The hardest thing I had ever done in my entire life was to say goodbye, hug her, and watch her drive away from me.

 

It's been a few days now, and I'm very sad and I miss her greatly, and she is the same way.

 

I suppose, what I am asking is: what should I do? Breaking up with her is not an option in a million years, considering all we have been through. I can never imagine being away from her. But I would like to move down there with her, but here's the catch: I turn 18 in December, which is when I would move, but I have to finish school - I don't want to, but it's something I feel I must do. My grades haven't been that great at all, and I'll likely need night school or some other such program to help me achieve not a normal diploma, not a GED, an adult diploma.

 

I have a job and I have been saving, but seriously guys, what should I do in this situation? Thanks in advance for your help, I really appreciate it!

[WhiteIcE]

Well I'm sure most people would say you should finnish school and put your academic future first. But please allow me to explain one of my views of life.

 

Firstly, many people live their life and happiness based on 'success'. Doing so actually provides people with a somewhat false idea of true happiness. You must realize, that just because others are doing something, others say you must do something, or what will help you achieve success isn't always the right way.

 

Consider things like this.

 

You're poor. You live in a ghetto, however you live with a wife in who you love even more than love itself, your family is surviving. You are happy, what needs to change? You can achieve success and risk it all while making sacrifices by doing what others suggest, or you can live your life the way you want to. What makes you happy? What does it matter if you're poor? Most of us want to be successfull because we all have this idea that happiness is success. That is not always the case.

 

Basically. If you feel she is your future, go to her and work on things from there on. Focus on being happy, not successfull. You are young and have many things to learn. You have alot of time to correct any bad things thrown your way. Life isn't about working for others. It's about working for you. Don't forget.

 

I know what I've said may seem dumb and unimportant, or confusing to some. But I don't care. It's my thoughts I thought I would share.

 

After all.

I don't care if I impress you.

 

I'm happy.

[Mar]

First off, I think you have a great head on your shoulders and your maturity is admirable for 17! I know guys my age who aren't half that responsible or committed to anything.

 

I have to agree that at least getting your diploma is a smart move. And only because any employer is going to take a dim view of a guy trying to get a job who couldn't even be bothered to finish high school; but you know that.

 

Moving there? Well yeah, I definitely don't see why you can't give it a shot. If you two can keep this long distance thing going for the next year, little under a year, then you'll be able to save money, get that diploma, and be a bit more stable when you go. And it's HARD. I moved out of my house at 18 thinking I had the world by the tail, and man, was I wrong! So be prepared-it costs a LOT of money, even living frugally, to support yourself.

 

And no, that wasn't meant to discourage you by any means, more to prepare you for what's ahead. What about your folks, do they support you in this? And what about her folks? Just curious what the parentals have to say.....

 

Mar

[Shadeburn]

Well, my folks aren't crazy about me running off down there. But when I'm 18, they can't stop me.

 

Jenn's mom, I guess, wouldn't mind if I went down there. Actually, what is going to happen is this: They will be building a house on a plot of land down there - hopefully a pretty big one. Jenn is always telling me that she will make sure there is an extra room for me there. So I guess that for a while I will be living with Jenn and her mom. That's okay. I'll get a job down there and help support things as much as I can- but I'd also like to go to school. So I would have to transfer schools in the middle of the year, somehow.

 

Gah.... this is such a headache!

 

But anyway, thank you White and Mar for your advice. It is really helping me to see an outsider's perspective of my situation.