LDR and daily communication starting to bother me.

[InaDaze87]

My gf and I have had tons of problems since in the 2 years we've been together. Some problems more serious than others but we always seem to work it out some way. The majority of our problems stem from bad/horrible communication, which I must say that we have pretty much gotten a handle on. Anyway, august started the beginning of our LDR because she just started her first semester of law school while I'm finishing up my last year of undergrad preparing to apply to Physical Therapy school.

 

The problem is for this last month especially last week our daily contact has been all shoot and miss because of our differences in schedules, which would be fine if I wasn't the one doing all the shooting. It's like I feel bad for bothering her since law school takes a ton of focus but it's not like she's going to call, text, or email me if I don't contact her first. I mean literally this week I have been the one to start all of the contact and by contact I mean me call, or sending a text with no reply. I called the other night and she was getting ready to got out with some friends and pretty much blew me off. And if we do get to talk it's like me starting all of the convos only for her to give one word replies. And her excuse for acting that way is that I wouldn't understand anything going on in her daily life now or get any of the jokes that go on in "law school".

 

So last night was my breaking point and I ended up having to send her a loonng text about how I felt and that I'm sick of everything because she didn't want to actually talk about it on the phone. So I guess I'm just looking for some feedback from anyone other than myself.

[Smiling]

Hi , I don't know what its like to be in an ldr when it started off not being an ldr but I am in an ldr for the past 15 months so I know what they are like. Communication is a big thing. It seems from this that your girlfriend is maybe just trying to get to grips with this new period in her life and this is how she is coping with it. Maybe she thinks that if she doesn't contact you all the time that it will be easier for her to cope with. However, it could be an out of sight out of mind situation which you should talk to her about. I know that its pretty cliche to say , don't contact her and she will soon get in touch with you, but this may just be what you need to do. Go cold turkey on the contact for at least three days and see if she gets in touch. She will prob start to miss you when she realises you aren't as available as before. Maybe she thinks that because you will always contact her that she doesn't need to make an effort. Either way, good luck & stay strong.

[LDRohnos]

Sounds like a girl who's more in love with herself than you. Communication is crucial to any relationship, if you cannot form an equally benefically form of it the relationship is doomed.

[missmilian]

Like Smiling said, sometimes i like to try the "don't contact them until they contact me" approach. It works for me almost all of the time!